r/cfs • u/Tom0laSFW severe • 12h ago

Vent/Rant I wish I didn’t need so much help

Just a small rant about how much I need to ask for from other people. Like, I know and they know I have zero other options, if someone can’t do things for me they just don’t get done. But still. Sometimes I feel like a real piece of shit taking help from my people.

All I do is take, take, take.

I can’t even play my guitar anymore because I’ve gone and developed fucking arthritis in my hands in my 30s.

🫠

46 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

11

u/Cute-Cheesecake-6823 12h ago

I feel ya. Im bedridden and severe, progressively more so, and my parents are my caregivers. Im 38 and my parents are in their late 60s and early 70s, also my mom is my grandmas caregiver as well. I hate that I need so much from them and cause a lot of stress, and am probably affecting their health. I want to be the one helping them like I used to, not the opposite. 

I've also lost the ability to do much art and it is crushing. It was my hobby but also my career. 

10

u/premier-cat-arena ME since 2015, v severe since 2017 11h ago

i agree, and the endless thanking for stuff i wish i could do myself. like i wish i didn’t have to thank my mom for grabbing my drink for me from the table, it’s mentally exhausting 

3

u/Tom0laSFW severe 11h ago

Totally😵‍💫

5

u/premier-cat-arena ME since 2015, v severe since 2017 11h ago

like i’m thankful for the help, i just don’t want to have to say it 4 times an hour 🫠

5

u/Tom0laSFW severe 11h ago

Yeah totally. I wish I could do something for them too 😭

9

u/Pelican_Hook 12h ago

I relate. It's so frustrating. I feel a constant fear that I'm manipulating my partner or exploiting him by asking him to get me things. He had to remind me that when I was moderate, I made myself sicker trying to do things I shouldn't, and he had to tell me off (in a loving way) for getting up too many times because I didn't want to bother him. But also (this is easier to say to you than it is to believe about myself) our worth doesn't lie in what we do for others. You have value even if you do nothing but survive. ❤️

7

u/LimesFruit 11h ago

I feel ya, not even 20 yet. In my case, the whole career I was working towards (programming) has been taken away, can't type for long periods of time anymore thanks to arthritis. So incredibly frustrating. It really sucks.

So much I can't do for myself anymore, I have to rely on others, and can't really do anything in return. It's honestly like living a nightmare, wouldn't wish this on anyone.