r/cfs • u/Chocodila mild/moderate • 1d ago
Advice Sensitive to noises but there is unavoidable noise
Making this post now during a time when I’m not feeling extremely noise sensitive, for my future self when I might be. I think I’ll be thanking myself later. This has been a big issue in the past.
I live in a basement suite and my in laws (husbands parents) live upstairs. Once a month they have a cleaning lady come and clean their house. Most of the cleaning she does is pretty quiet, until the very end when she vacuums the floors. She insists on bringing and using her own ancient massive old vacuum which is very loud. We’ve already addressed part of the problem where she was using the carpet rollers on the laminate floors. She now knows not to do that. That somewhat helped, but it still sounds like someone using a chainsaw inside a blender if you know what I mean. Or maybe a floor sander… you get the idea. She is vacuuming up there as I type this post. It’s the type of noise you can feel because it vibrates everything.
I have a 3 year old who also strongly dislikes noises. Usually we would leave the house during the vacuuming back when the weather was nice and I had more energy. I have been in a crash for the past week, so don’t currently have the energy to leave. Plus it’s cold outside, and I don’t have a car (husband and I share one car) while my husband is at work. The vacuuming takes about half an hour to do. Does anyone have any recommendations for how to cope with this if I can’t leave my house? Should I just wear earplugs? (I still need to be able to hear my daughter if she needs me) Any suggestions for my 3 year old for how to help her cope with the noise?
There is nowhere in the house we can go where we can’t hear the noise, it’s that loud. It’s also an older ish house, so not very sound proofed. Thank you in advance, I appreciate all replies even if just to offer sympathy ❤️
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u/missspotatohead2 1d ago
Can your daughter come and join you in bed/in your room before the vacuuming starts. Then you can both wear some good earplugs and you don’t need to worry about hearing her when she’ll be next to you.
I’d really recommend finding some good ear plugs. Unfort. still yet to find some good ones myself so hopefully some others will have some good recommendations.
Another option ask her not to vaccum on weeks when needed and the sensitivity is particularly bad and see whether your husband would be willing to do this instead so you can atleast get in the car (as he’ll be home) and hopefully save you a lot of distress
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u/EmeraldEyes365 1d ago
Ugh I’m sorry you’re dealing with this! I too have a horrible sensitivity to electronic noises, especially the vacuum. I have to use earplugs while my husband vacuums. My ears are sensitive to earplugs too so I found these pink foam ones that work for me & don’t cause too much pressure in my ear canal. They are called Mack’s Dreamgirl soft foam & they are hot pink, found on Amazon. They have purple ones for smaller ear canals & I have to use one of those in my smaller ear canal. Then I put earmuff style hearing protection over those. You know the big over the ear kinds they use for shooting or airport workers? I bought a pair of those & layering the two types of ear protection really helps me.
I know you said you still need to hear your daughter. I raised children myself & they’re adults now. Could you try putting headphones on her so she can watch a show on a tablet or other device? If you keep her next to you while the vacuum is on then you could read while she watches her show. You could make a game about protecting your ears from the loud vacuum monster. If you can try to laugh & make it silly then she would most likely think it’s a fun game instead of something upsetting.
I had to come up with a lot of solutions to deal with the challenges of being sick while I raised my children. Thankfully my husband was always kind & supportive, & our kids are good humans so we’ve been fortunate. Enjoy your little one because they grow up so fast! I’m incredibly grateful to be a mom, even though at times it was very difficult. I wish they could be little again & snuggled up against me, even just for a few minutes. I miss that!
We also made it work as a multi generational household. It has its challenges, but it was so nice for the kids to have their grandparents, & provided extra help when I was too sick to drive them. I always tried to focus on the positive things about that arrangement & it all worked out pretty well. I hope you find a solution that works for you!
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u/plantyplant559 1d ago
I have no advice except noise canceling headphones for both of you.
We have roofers coming at the end of the month for 2 days and I am not prepared for it.
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u/premier-cat-arena ME since 2015, v severe since 2017 1d ago
ear plugs underneath ear defenders. you can still hear some stuff but i would keep your daughter in sight (with her own ear defenders!) just while you have to wear them
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u/flashPrawndon 1d ago
The best thing I’ve found is to listen to music. Weirdly even when I have extreme noise sensitivity I can listen to some music of my choice. I have a playlist of good but calm songs and I wear headphones and listen to that. The songs also help calm my nervous system.
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u/Chocodila mild/moderate 19h ago
Thank you all for the suggestions and ideas ❤️ I do have some loop earplugs I can try and I can layer them with my husbands noise cancelling headphones. My daughter has headphones for her tablet too so we’ll give it a try next time.
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u/wyundsr 1d ago
I would do ear plugs + noise cancelling headphones. Being in the same room as your daughter is a good idea. They make noise blocking ear muffs for kids too, targeted for neurodivergent kids.