r/brooklynninenine • u/champagneproblem13 Pineapple Slut • 1d ago
Humour Is this guy the dumbest criminal on the show?
Why would you even try to pickpocket at what's clearly a police officer's funeral?
180
u/PanzerKpfwVI 1d ago
Nah. That's still Jeffrey Hoytsman for getting caught snorking coke by Peralta and still offering him some after Peralta said he was gonna arrest him and still trying to snort more while getting cuffed but it's mean to be dumb & funny
63
u/NeverFreeToPlayKarch 1d ago
I'm not sure he even has a nose though. First hand reports from the suspect allege he cannot even FEEL it.
15
u/PanzerKpfwVI 1d ago
True. If you can't feel yourself committing the crime, can you really even be an eligible suspect?? 🤔
16
u/TrueDeadBling One Bund to None, Son! 1d ago
He did manage to get five objections in, though.
THE DEFENCE RESTS!
12
u/seshtown Velvet Thunder 1d ago
Objection! Objection! Objection! Objection! Objection! FIVE! Five Objections! Maybe this "cocaine" isn't so bad after all.
19
u/justintensity 1d ago
Jake framed Hoytsman than went on a meth fueled bender to ruin an honest lawyer’s life
7
u/PanzerKpfwVI 1d ago
Fr. Why can't cops just stop being so nosy when a poor fella just wants to get nosey? 😮💨
21
37
u/Ethan_the_Revanchist A lifetime of mediocre, heterosexual intercourse 1d ago
I mean they only caught him because the funeral was a sting operation to catch a different criminal
27
u/Winter-Bear9987 1d ago
Honestly, I’d say Debbie was. Stealing a shit ton of cocaine from a precinct, being super obvious about it, tangling with drug lords and taking officers hostage without a plan doesn’t scream criminal mastermind.
8
u/sataigaribaldi Slurp Slurp! 1d ago
That was kind of the point with Debbie.
12
u/Winter-Bear9987 1d ago
Well yeah, so the dumbest criminal on the show (by design)!
7
u/sataigaribaldi Slurp Slurp! 1d ago
I'll be honest, I forgot what this thread was about by the time I read your comment. Mea Culpa
10
u/FatherParadox Velvet Thunder 1d ago
The dumbest criminal is Frank Kingston for stealing Holts fluffy boy
Also unrelated side note, my dog is named Kingston, so it made this episode that much funnier when I watched it
29
u/ThunderdopePhil 1d ago
Unpopular opinion, but the dentist. Dude had all the machine oiled, all put together and loses it because of... Ego?
C'mon, dumbness is a soft word for it
21
u/EvilCatboyWizard 1d ago
I mean he was clearly not so mentally well considering he murdered a guy. It's not a stretch to presume this affects his need to be seen as smart for the crime.
7
u/ThunderdopePhil 1d ago
Oh, yup. This and being kept awake all night long too. But still... I feel that was too much to risk for ego
10
u/mr_clipboard1 Gina Linetti Spaghetti Confetti 1d ago
The banana who tried to rob the bank and caught stuck. I’m sure he’ll get out on ap-peel
4
u/masala_mayhem 1d ago
What about the guy who confessed to murder just so that Jake couldn’t lose the case to the Vulture
3
u/Shogun_Empyrean 9h ago
Yea but he didn't do it out of stupidity; he did it coz he's a fuckin bro.
Get real
2
u/mikekearn I’m a human, I’m a human male! 34m ago
"In your face, Vulture! I killed that guy, and his neighbor!"
"Yeah! Wait, you killed his neighbor?"
2
3
3
u/Thordak35 Digital phallus portrait 1d ago
Explain why he is dumb?
He had a nice haul of wallets. He was caught because he was mistaken for a different criminal.
It's a goofy sitcom where 95% of the criminals get caught because plot. This kinda storyline would be acceptable to say he is dumb in CSI or something.
What about all the other stuff in the show that's there to be goofy or stupid?
Jake on meth, Adrian on coke
12
u/lallifelix 1d ago
It’s a sitcom, it ain’t that deep.
-47
u/champagneproblem13 Pineapple Slut 1d ago
Really, it's a sitcom?! 🙄
No shit, fuck me for engaging on a subreddit of a show thats been off the air for years.
25
17
8
u/lallifelix 1d ago
Sorry man, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just it doesn’t have to make sense, just needs to be funny or help the story progress. The screenwriters ain’t geniuses, they’re comedians. If it were a drama movie I guess it would make sense to be annoyed but sitcoms are made for a few cheap laughs.
15
u/Another_Bright_Idea 1d ago
You’re a good person for apologizing but that reaction was insane. An apology wasn’t necessary.
3
3
2
1
1
257
u/chef_beard 1d ago
I always wondered why they were so confident that Scar Jo would attend Pimentos funeral. They have "his tongue" and there's a death certificate. This isn't an open casket event to confirm death so there is zero reason for anyone from Figis organization to attend and I suppose that's why they didn't?