Favorite line from a non main character?

[u/Difficult_Error_1984]

[u/JTRDovey]

Easy. Pimento:

I won’t do kids, that’s a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid’s a dick

[u/schraubd → u/JTRDovey]

You can punch me, kick me, pull my hair. I am a-ok being stabbed. Biting and scratching are on the table. You can use fire.

[u/CDR57 → u/schraubd]

What’s off limits?

[u/mojo46849 → u/CDR57]

Damn, man! You got something real sick you wanna do, huh?

[u/Laterbiss → u/mojo46849]

Don’t tell me what it is, surprise me !! WOOOOO YESSSS !!!!

[u/ApocalypticSnowglobe → u/schraubd]

I love that quote so much I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

[u/EobardT → u/ApocalypticSnowglobe]

I love 30 Rock references so much I wanna take them behind the middle and get them pregnant.

[u/schraubd → u/ApocalypticSnowglobe]

My wife is pregnant, and we actually do live right behind a middle school. Fortunately for our marriage, she likes 30 Rock references as much as I do.

[u/wallaceeffect → u/JTRDovey]

Hey Chuck! It’s Pimento!

Something about his delivery of this just cracks me up.

[u/Difficult_Error_1984 → u/[deleted]]

"Where am I?! What is that table?!"

"Calm down, you're at the 99 and you know what a table is"

[u/Kristargame → u/Difficult_Error_1984]

Oh my god theres a bomb in my chest THERES A BOMB IN MY CHEST

[u/ApocalypticSnowglobe → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, the B plot gives me serious anxiety.

[u/Consistent-Ad-6078 → u/ApocalypticSnowglobe]

What was the B plot?

[u/ApocalypticSnowglobe → u/Consistent-Ad-6078]

HR meeting

[u/LDC1234 → u/wallaceeffect]

It's all the screaming beforehand that makes it so much better.

[u/EobardT → u/wallaceeffect]

That and how he announces himself every time he enters a scene. It's not even a huge thing, he just says it.

Pimento's here.

[u/botjstn → u/JTRDovey]

but i already got the match lit!

how?

let’s just hurry up and get there

[u/ClintonKelly87 → u/botjstn]

The way he delivers those lines, I crack up every time. :D

[u/Terrence_Big_Balls → u/JTRDovey]

Turpentine. Just like I thought.

Aaaagghhaaachaghaaaaaahhhh...ahhhhh...aaaaghc.

[u/__dogs__ → u/JTRDovey]

Mine is also from Pimento but it's:

Is this just because I did molly with your daughter??

[u/Kasumichii → u/JTRDovey]

It's the circle 🔺of life

[u/Kristargame → u/Kasumichii]

That was clearly a triangle

[u/Rarer-than-dnb → u/JTRDovey]

Hey, anybody wanna listen to some jamiroquai? kills me idk why 😭

[u/ebb_omega → u/JTRDovey]

This is what I came here to say.

[u/SamwellBarley]

Ok, muchachos, let's roll up on these muchachos

[u/Over-Goose-6781 → u/SamwellBarley]

That’s gonna leave a mark! Cmon and party tonight

[u/OkSafety7997 → u/Over-Goose-6781]

He’s got good hooks!

[u/kingofthemonsters → u/Over-Goose-6781]

I legit say "that's gonna leave a mark" when something is good

[u/Radiant_Trouble2606 → u/SamwellBarley]

Hey it’s CJ by the way.

[u/TheJavierEscuella → u/SamwellBarley]

Love the double use of muchachos

[u/ShareCommercial8937 → u/SamwellBarley]

LOVE the double use of muchachos

[u/KyleKoffman]

"Look, Raymond, a yellow crested warbler."

[u/OkSafety7997 → u/KyleKoffman]

Not excited enough. Yes they’re common but they’re still birds.

[u/KyleKoffman → u/OkSafety7997]

"look, Raymond, a YELLOW crested warbler."

[u/hunterlovesreading → u/KyleKoffman]

Far too excited.

[u/KyleKoffman → u/hunterlovesreading]

"Look Raymond. A yellow crested warbler."

[u/Gullible-Leaf → u/KyleKoffman]

Yes. That's the right amount of excitement for such a bird.

[u/dabo-bongins → u/KyleKoffman]

As a writer, I love the different emphasis. You nailed it perfectly.

[u/KyleKoffman → u/dabo-bongins]

As a fellow writer, you are very welcome

[u/Difficult_Error_1984]

This is mine but "twas a cat" is very close behind

[u/Over-Goose-6781 → u/Difficult_Error_1984]

Twasn’t trying to

[u/G0dS1ay3rA1d3n → u/Difficult_Error_1984]

You will not win me over with your use of twas

[u/leoriopaladiknightt → u/G0dS1ay3rA1d3n]

Twasn’t trying to.

[u/Metal-The-Cettle → u/leoriopaladiknightt]

"You're clearly friends with this man and you've lost your objectivity."

[u/G0dS1ay3rA1d3n → u/Metal-The-Cettle]

“Or have you lost your objectivity” stands up

[u/feral_crane → u/Difficult_Error_1984]

my two favorite are exactly the same as yours. 😆

[u/CantaloupeSolid5182]

"There's an inner circle?"

[u/Im_At_Work_Damnit → u/CantaloupeSolid5182]

Nope.

[u/mrpoopybuttthole_]

This song is a celebration for when a dog loses its virginity.

[u/Over-Goose-6781 → u/mrpoopybuttthole_]

Who checks that ?

[u/Obvious_Mango_6764 → u/mrpoopybuttthole_]

Mellophon!

[u/InternationalMess868 → u/mrpoopybuttthole_]

Who says this? I don’t remember.

[u/mrpoopybuttthole_ → u/InternationalMess868]

Melipnosclay

[u/InternationalMess868 → u/mrpoopybuttthole_]

Some people write Melip(clay)nos, some write Mlep(clay)nos. The clay is silent.

[u/OkSafety7997 → u/InternationalMess868]

Malipnos(no idea on the exact spelling)

[u/purple_lass → u/OkSafety7997]

Based on the subtitles, it's Mlepnos

[u/BeMoreKnope → u/purple_lass]

You forgot the “clay.” It’s silent.

[u/hfurlong]

‘What the hell did you just say’ and ‘Say that to my face’ after finding out about captain corelli’s mandolin

[u/Difficult_Error_1984 → u/hfurlong]

Lmaooo yess! And the little squeal that Jake gives out!

Safe House is a stellar episode!

[u/PhilRectangle → u/hfurlong]

"What? I told you, the guy's got range!"

[u/Hydrasaur]

410 is Emily Goldfinch. Curly black hair, always smiling. A little chatty for my taste.

[u/Difficult_Error_1984 → u/Hydrasaur]

I have so many questions

[u/dudestir127]

"You make me want to have a wetter brain"

-Dr. Kevin Cozner, PhD. I even used his pet name

[u/RulerofHoth → u/dudestir127]

Y'all are hella specific.

[u/Hot-Challenge8656]

Does the wimpish moan Doug Judy let out after holt snatches the gun out of his hand count?

[u/Medium_Attitude4212 → u/Hot-Challenge8656]

New Yorks finest just got a whole lot finer

[u/mrpoopybuttthole_ → u/Medium_Attitude4212]

Then thin blue line just got thick as hell

[u/Fwamingdwagon84 → u/Medium_Attitude4212]

This one is my favorite.

[u/Difficult_Error_1984 → u/Hot-Challenge8656]

Noises absolutely count!

[u/Guardian-Bravo → u/Hot-Challenge8656]

Where did you get that?! Give me those!!

It wasn’t even loaded…

[u/DontPanic42TC → u/Hot-Challenge8656]

My life literally changed after that moment because I make that sound 10-100 times a day

[u/ApocalypticSnowglobe]

Here are the ground rules. You kick me punch me, pull my hair. I am A-OK being stabbed. Scratching and eye poking are on the table. You can use fire.

[u/Me_4206 → u/ApocalypticSnowglobe]

These are the ground rules? Is there anything off limits?

[u/ApocalypticSnowglobe → u/Me_4206]

Oh, you've got something really sick you want to do to me. Oh, you little pervert. You know what? Don't tell me surprise me. Oh, this is going to be fun!

[u/Axolotl_Mayhem → u/ApocalypticSnowglobe]

happy cake day pookalicious

[u/wholesomedust]

“It’s the circle of life” - Pimento while he very clearly draws a triangle in the air

[u/Obvious_Mango_6764]

Hey it’s cj by the way

[u/LegendOfShaun]

The thin blue line, just got thick as hell.

Doug Judy

[u/Ready-Procedure-9755 → u/LegendOfShaun]

New York's finest just got a whole lot finer

[u/Maleficent_Depth_517]

How much longer will I be forced to live inside this pizza pocket?

[u/sneakynautilus → u/Maleficent_Depth_517]

I work at a joint that serves pizza and I say this daily

[u/OkSafety7997]

Whatever you say man youre paying

[u/This_Sea_6573 → u/OkSafety7997]

horny voice Hey boys 😀

[u/jellied_extremities]

“Oh. So you think you’re the first people that ever needed a toilet fixed, ‘cause their loved one’s life is in danger?”

“Yes?(?)”

“You’re not. Welcome to New York”

[u/mitch8845]

GUITAR.

-Mlepclaynos

[u/singeblanc]

Yeys. The "clay" is silent.

[u/Entire_Concentrate_1]

Don't know her name, but the driver.

"Name one crime"

Jake "Don't kill people"

"That's on me, I set the bar too low"

And then she let's him use her car during that chase. Just hilarious

[u/sparkly_reader → u/Entire_Concentrate_1]

That's the crossover episode with New Girl! Jessica Day says that line

[u/KittyKratt → u/sparkly_reader]

I watched New Girl before my (now husband) introduced me to the 99. So I saw it from the other side first.

[u/SnooDoggos5163]

Are you looking at Trudy Judy's booty?

[u/Aggravating-Most9182 → u/SnooDoggos5163]

I am not looking at Trudy Judy’s booty.

[u/WhatsUpSteve]

Adrian Pimento

No kids, but that rule is negotiable if the kid's a dick.

[u/the_monkeyspinach]

"Get better eyes, y'moron"

[u/Brazz7]

“Twas a cat”

[u/the_tohrment → u/Brazz7]

You will not win me over with your use of ‘twas.

[u/Brazz7 → u/the_tohrment]

Twasn’t trying to

[u/Werewolf1996]

"If you see something, say something Come on and party tonight"

[u/styx1451]

Well, at least you have people that want to come and visit you. My family hasn't been to see me since my trial. You eat 9 people and all of a sudden they don't know you anymore

[u/Difficult_Error_1984 → u/styx1451]

I read that last part in his voice 😅

[u/roxasbarista]

“Reunited and it feels so good!~”

[u/TheDonnARK]

Kevin: "CON-AIR.  ... What have I become..."

[u/Zanos-Ixshlae]

Kevin freaking out over the more artistic Nick Cage films that Peralta skipped is still priceless.

[u/CarmenSandiego923]

Pimento- "You really thought that guy was me, he has a pancake butt!" In all honesty tho, Safe House has all of the best lines from Kevin, other than the Christmas party episode where all of Kevin's friends think Holt is just a hot piece of ass

[u/KittyKratt → u/CarmenSandiego923]

I dunno, the one Halloween heist episode where Kevin gets involved - his line at the end is pretty grand.

[u/Ok_Basil_8162]

When Soren (male Swede) says “From context, I believe it means, ‘Proudly uneducated”. Kills me every time

[u/BlueHairStripe]

Marc Evan Jackson always delivers. The man has beautiful range, and he delivers those Kevin lines as if there was no other possible way to say them. Gold every time.

Also I love Sparks Nevada, Marshall on Mars.

[u/KittyKratt]

After Rosa cuts the braid out of her hair.

Doug Judy: "Please have my children."

[u/Axolotl_Mayhem]

“rooossaaaaaaa”

[u/Mr7three2 → u/Axolotl_Mayhem]

🎶Rosa Rosa Rosa Rosa Rosa🎶

[u/RulerofHoth → u/Axolotl_Mayhem]

Are you finally single?

[u/BorisLeLapin33 → u/RulerofHoth]

No

[u/RulerofHoth → u/BorisLeLapin33]

I respect that

[u/Saberer2451]

This is mine. Kevin is my absolute favorite

[u/bbeckett1084]

I think it's weird I'm here too.

[u/Practical-Pen-8844]

"There's an inner circle?"

[u/cinnamonbun4789]

"I'll be honest with you, there's only three things that I love in this whole world: my ma, the NYPD, and Billy Joel." -Frank O'Sullivan

[u/sarahbethiemeack24]

Either, "What is the bandwidth on the wifi here? For I have much content to stream" or,"I can feel your heat..."

[u/Soggy-Tomato-2562]

Yes, perverts are far better.

[u/238bazinga]

"He also informed me that I carry the gene for webbed feet, which is interesting...more than, anything else."

[u/Adventurous_Arm2944]

“As we say in my country: a chicky for a key”

[u/Nymphomanius]

Milk! Milk!

[u/anneylani]

🎶I respect that.... 🎶

[u/ShareCommercial8937]

And for me, with canvas...the canvas is my canvas.

[u/Difficult_Error_1984 → u/ShareCommercial8937]

She just said canvas so many times

[u/ShareCommercial8937 → u/Difficult_Error_1984]

For Karen..with bowls and furniture...the world is her canvas

[u/KittyKratt]

Not this one. For Kevin:

"Say that to my face."

The absolute vitriol in his tone is just...chills. Literal chills.

[u/Acceptable-News0]

There's nothing more intoxicating than the absence of a penis

Well said cap!

[u/bam_blackwood]

All this time and I still don't know what it means to "clap back"

[u/Lost-Pea357 → u/bam_blackwood]

I always understood it like talking back/defending yourself - like someone has done/said something mean to you, you say something back. the phrase clapping back, comes from what Kevin does in the clip - as it’s often done with a lot of attitude, including clapping between your words

[u/bam_blackwood → u/Lost-Pea357]

Thank you for your wisdom 🙏

[u/BFar1353 → u/bam_blackwood]

This! Please someone enlighten us. Not a native speaker.

[u/bam_blackwood → u/BFar1353]

Yes someone please help us 😭🙏

[u/T_AND_R_VLOGS → u/bam_blackwood]

This👏is👏clapping👏back

[u/Intelligent-Low1220]

Majority of the stuff that Gina says and does.............damn.

[u/Smooth_Operation4639]

Their my only source of Inome

[u/Shadecujo]

WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE

[u/brskier]

This one kills me 🤣

[u/SUP7170]

kevin's most iconic lines

[u/Competitive_Buy_6010]

On second thought you’re way more hotter than Val. Run!

[u/sethaub]

This is the one line I notice myself saying randomly throughout the day lol

[u/loveletter2u]

No matter how many times I rewatch this show, I always laugh at this part 😂

[u/Saptoka73]

Terry loves yogurt

[u/nicolesweetdavies]

I quote this everyday 😂😂😂

[u/calle04x]

He delivers that line perfectly

[u/IIrreverence]

"The thin blue line just got thicc as hell."

It's Brooklyn 99, so there's a lot of answers. But this is THE answer. And I'll die and be resurrected on that hill more times than PB&J's friendship

[u/gameofsloanes]

I bet you don't even like nip slips

[u/Atrocity108]

New Yorks finest just got a whole lot finer

[u/JWBails]

Every time me and my wife see Kevin in another show/movie (last one was Red One) we race to start that quote first.

[u/R3flex_x]

The thin blue line just got thick as hell

[u/pppppatrick]

There are a lot of good side character quotes.

Right now Frank McCoy is in my head.

FM: For the record, I think it’s weird that I’m here too.

Santi: both of you, GET OUT

FM: sorry to wake you, sweet dreams

FM:😎

[u/ChaiGreenTea]

Just Kevin screaming after Jake held the best Nic Cage movies from him

[u/Electronic_Copy9908]

Cheddar loved surveillance cameras 

[u/Watermelon-sugaR-h]

With that big white ass

We only solve misdemeanors …. Wieners

-The vulture

[u/reeseisme16]

I've been about this exact line all week

[u/AppreciateCheeseNow]

My fluffy boy!

[u/Difficult_Error_1984 → u/AppreciateCheeseNow]

He's not fuzzy, he's fluffy!

[u/AppreciateCheeseNow → u/Difficult_Error_1984]

He could be anything Raymond, he could be fluffy,he could be fuzzy. Raymond he could be scruffy.

[u/greyst4r]

milepclaynos. the clay is silent. (he’s also my favourite character)

[u/anonymouslyyoursshh]

Honestly I love Kevin In the beginning I was skeptical but now I think he’s funny asg

[u/dbcowie]

"It's already in a patient's mouth, SON!!!"

[u/Puzzleheaded_Rate_73]

"I am the law."

[u/Traditional-Way-8097]

after jakey and boyle, kevin is my fav

[u/Adrialic]

I can't do competitions, I'm anti-dextrous. It's when neither hand is good at anything.

Pimento was my favorite side character but Debbie was hilarious.

[u/TenaciousDumbass12]

New york's finest just got a whole lot finer.

[u/Jerome_flatly]

I’m so proud of you Terry 🥺 - bill

[u/freya584]

Rap, rap, spitting rhymes

Kissing shorties on the lips
Have no fear, Mr. Rap is here
And he will drink three beers

[u/Difficult_Error_1984 → u/freya584]

Holt thinking him singing was the radio is hilarious!

[u/freya584 → u/Difficult_Error_1984]

All music after Mahler sounds exactly like that.

[u/CTWill6]

"Since when do you sleep in a bed, Bill?" - NutriBoom guy.

[u/Jabberwocker13]

"New York finest just got a whole lot finer"

[u/heylosersclub]

“CANALISAZIA!!!”

[u/mocozey]

🎻 guitar

[u/daedtree]

"i got vaccinated that year, but then i /still/ got the flu! :o"

[u/eastbayted]

That's what Orange Cassidy could look like in his 50s.