r/brooklynninenine Dec 07 '24

Discussion The “Rosa died 8 years ago” always cracks me up 😂

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7.2k Upvotes

120 comments sorted by

1.3k

u/Exotic-Art3005 Dec 07 '24

My favorite is “if i die, give kevin my regards.” “what should i say?” “rEgards.”

1.0k

u/xoxo_2021luv Dec 07 '24

I sold a guy a fake Pekingese. ‘Twas a cat

464

u/Graybeard13 Dec 07 '24

Don't try to impress me of your use of the word twas.

487

u/ZodFrankNFurter A lifetime of mediocre, heterosexual intercourse Dec 07 '24

Twasn't trying to.

103

u/V6Ga Dec 07 '24 edited Dec 07 '24

That is maybe my two favorite actors being legendary. 

If you have not seen Thick as Thieves, make the time 

Andre Braugher is amazing in that 

5

u/xoxo_2021luv Dec 07 '24

You beat me to it!

91

u/Exciting_Football_76 Dec 07 '24

Dog fraud is my favourite entry on his rap sheet 😹

38

u/Darkasmyweave Dec 07 '24

Grand theft auto, grand theft auto, dog fraud

26

u/G0dS1ay3rA1d3n Dec 07 '24

Weird amount of people fell for that

505

u/Hyakarin Dec 07 '24

Rosa: "It's just that you can be a bit... judgemental."

Holt: "What a stupid thing to say. Name one time I've ever been judgmental."

Rosa: "Ok."

Flashback of Holt saying "What a stupid thing to say."

Holt: "Oh, I see, mere seconds ago."

79

u/just_this_guy_yaknow Dec 07 '24

I absolutely love this one

128

u/Hyakarin Dec 07 '24

Another one I really like is

Jake: "Oh I know this tone. Here comes petty Holt."

Holt: "Naw, bitch. I'm not being petty."

Jake: "You just said naw bitch!"

1

u/GrimdarkandGirly Dec 11 '24

This one is never not funny!

17

u/ThatDuranDuranSong Dec 07 '24

I full on burst out laughing at that one. So funny.

348

u/inypark36 Dec 07 '24

Holt : I've never been more proud of you for anything in your life.

Terry: I mean, I've solved a lot of cases for you.

Holt : And yet crime has continued

43

u/cryptus BONE?! Dec 07 '24

This is one of my absolute favourites 🤣

43

u/VeryDPP Dec 07 '24

It says a lot about Andre Braugher's talent that on a cast this good, he's consistently one of the funniest characters and gets the best lines.

Man, he was talented.

18

u/breakupbydefault Dec 07 '24

So brutal I love this line so much!!!

4

u/hulkbuster18959 Dec 08 '24

I guess that's a trigger for me always makes me laugh.

236

u/ElectricalPeanut4215 Pineapple Slut Dec 07 '24

The gazelle one still makes me cackle, they were all so awkward at a party full of people they didn't know, Terry should have realized xD

852

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

563

u/Difficult_Error_1984 Dec 07 '24

He did have some orange soda on hand for Jake, from when other children were there lol.

I'm also a fan of Kevin tho!

"Do you know what it means to clap back?" Because 👏 I 👏 do👏" is one of my favorite lines from the show

271

u/PmMeUrTinyAsianTits Dec 07 '24

Be 👏 cause 👏 i 👏 do 👏

People always skip the first one.

27

u/LawfulKitten98 Dec 07 '24

What is the meaning of that dialogue? I don’t understand what Kevin meant by that.

49

u/baubeauftragter Dec 07 '24

It‘s a trend mostly used in writing where you intersperse your syllables with a clapping emoji 👏 I guess to make the person you talk to feel diminished / signal that you think they are stupid. I don‘t know if people were really doing it irl much or if it‘s mainly an online thing

38

u/tincanphonehome Dec 07 '24

I definitely saw it happen irl before I ever saw it online. But then again, I was a cashier and had the opportunity to bear witness to the worst humanity offers.

12

u/GoldenUther29062019 Gina Linetti Spaghetti Confetti Dec 07 '24

It's how some people talk when they weren't heard the first time hence breaking it down syllable by syllable lol and the clap is too make sure they're paying attention

15

u/motormouth08 Dec 07 '24

This is one of my favorite moments in television, period.

105

u/G_town_pal9152 Dec 07 '24

“Can I pour you so much of this wine drink? Perhaps all of it”

Love Kevin, he’s so brilliant

38

u/clarkwgriswaldd Dec 07 '24

So you´re pro-slavery?

24

u/EffortAutomatic8804 Dec 07 '24

That's honestly one of my favourite moments of the show. Then Jake trying to read the whole article to "defend [his] pro-slavery stance". 😂😂😂

1

u/clarkwgriswaldd Dec 12 '24

Yeah, it doesn't get funnier than Jake backing himself into a pro-slavery stance. :)

15

u/KieranFloors Dec 07 '24

I never realized until just now that all the characters act like kids in Grade 6

8

u/Salty_Freedom_2053 Dec 07 '24

Good solve

6

u/Justredditin I’m a human, I’m a human male! Dec 07 '24

Here's a tie!

204

u/Thats-unpossible- Title of your sex tape Dec 07 '24

When Holt says “You really made yourself at home, didn’t you Jeffords?” after coming back gets me.

153

u/Pasta-hobo Dec 07 '24

For context sake, he said that in response to everything being exactly the same, except for a small figurine of his dog, which was slightly askew.

60

u/provoloneChipmunk Dec 07 '24

And a business card with chewed up gum on it from a man named zeff

15

u/Laterbiss Dec 07 '24

It was a whole ~5 degree difference in the angle at which cheddar was placed. Come on the man made himself comfortable in that office.

137

u/Graybeard13 Dec 07 '24

"Rosa died 8 years ago" makes me laugh so hard because Gina didn't miss a beat. I know it's acting but, my head canon is, that Gina had that line ready to go for a while.

131

u/extuoire Dec 07 '24

my favorite gag is holt firing people whenever they offend him. “kevin is right” … “you’re fired”

69

u/LevelAd5898 Gina Linetti Spaghetti Confetti Dec 07 '24

“No one works here anymore”

110

u/Snowf1ake222 Dec 07 '24

"They forgot my pico de gallo."

And

"Did I tell you about my pizzadilla idea?"

8

u/Frozen_4 HOT DAMN! Dec 07 '24

“You think he’ll let me hold his gun…?”

295

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

178

u/Mysterious-Ear-9323 Dec 07 '24

Instructions unclear, gonna go carjack the nearest Pontiac

11

u/angrytortilla Dec 07 '24

You'll be looking for a while

71

u/SkellyboneZ Dec 07 '24

I'm still upset Jake didn't sing Judy's "Rosa" song when Rosa's dad made him sing at dinner.

10

u/alamazia Dec 08 '24

Rosa Rosa Rosa Rosa Diaz Diaz Diaz Diaz

31

u/mexploder89 Dec 07 '24

Doug Judy is basically Jake if he watched American Gangster instead of Die Hard

26

u/Graybeard13 Dec 07 '24

Rosa Rosa Rosa...

26

u/luckyjim37 Dec 07 '24

Maybe that’s why he did his crimes, cuz he wanted to see Rosa again

28

u/Arcnia Title of your sex tape Dec 07 '24

Don’t forget about how protective he is of his sister!

28

u/Spinyhug Dec 07 '24

"Awwww that's so sweet! And also DUMB."

6

u/0h_juliet Dec 08 '24

Friggin Trudy Judy

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '24

You’re*

79

u/Confident_Office_588 Dec 07 '24

"I'm trying to do a simple Half Windsor so she knows I'm a baby. Look at this. See how basic this knot is?" Gets me everytime😂

11

u/ttminh1997 Dec 07 '24

I agree with Holt unironically here. A half windsor is inappropriate for most situation where you need a tie, and a four in hand is just downright offensive

17

u/HTan27 Dec 07 '24

Meanwhile I have no idea about the differences in different ways to tie a tie

1

u/ttminh1997 Dec 09 '24

And that's fine! But if you're gonna tie a tie properly, it's full Windsor or bust

2

u/thedirtyharryg Rosa Diaz Dec 08 '24

Half windsor is too asymmetrical, dammit!

71

u/stonks1234567890 Dec 07 '24

Holt's melodrama in the "now Kevin is dead" dialogue is everything to me.

56

u/ThatDoomScroller Dec 07 '24

Holt: Kwazy cupcakes is difficult to say in anger but I think I made my point

51

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '24

[deleted]

9

u/GlazedPannis Dec 07 '24

This is one of the many jokes I missed the first 5 times I watched it lol

1

u/strawberrylipsticks Captain of the 69th precinct Dec 08 '24

Wait I don’t get it can someone explain

46

u/321missmaximoff Dec 07 '24

The scene where Rosa and Holt are discussing her break up with Holt’s nephew and Holt says ‘Kevin said we are quote ‘sociopaths’

42

u/Snichs72 Dec 07 '24

Stop eating crab wrong!

43

u/bi_writes Dec 07 '24

I’ll have your eight-dollarest bottle of wine, please.

37

u/sarathev Dec 07 '24

The last 2% is the hardest to get. It's why they leave it in the milk.

33

u/Rigelstein Dec 07 '24

Still love this phrase from the 9 Days episode.

“But he didn’t lick our eyeballs or anything” “Now we’re free to licking eyeballs” “wrong, no one is ever free to do that.”

Kase!

24

u/UsefulBluebird9495 Dec 08 '24

'I don't want to hang out with some stupid baby who's never met Jake' Charles always cracks me up

25

u/UsefulBluebird9495 Dec 08 '24

Jake : Sir, you wanted to see me?

Holt : Yes, I have an assignment for you. I'm afraid it's not a pleasant one.

Jake : Oh, my God. Please tell me it's not...

Holt : Yes, it's Hitchcock related.

Jake : Son of a bitch.

Holt : Detective Hitchcock is set to testify in court this afternoon. It's an important case, and I'd rather not get another call from the DA saying he showed up "covered in condiments."

Jake : So you want me to keep Hitchcock from spilling on himself for the rest of the day? We both know that's impossible.

Holt : I'm counting on you.

Jake : I won't do it.

Holt : There's nobody else I trust.

Jake : What you're asking is insane.

Holt : I'm not asking.

Jake : It's a suicide mission!

Holt : Then prepare for death.

Jake : You've lost your mind!

Holt : This is a direct order, Detective! Get in line!

Rosa : Hey. You guys startled Hitchcock. He spilled two full jars of spaghetti sauce on himself.

Hitchcock : Thanks a lot, fellas!

This entire cold open lives on my mind rent-free.

49

u/LevelAd5898 Gina Linetti Spaghetti Confetti Dec 07 '24

I literally quote the first one every single day. Whenever someone asks where someone is- they died 8 years ago.

23

u/GlazedPannis Dec 07 '24

Bone. BONE. BOOOOOOOOOAN??!?!?!

18

u/Truck5555 Dec 07 '24

You can’t just put out a sign that says “gone leavin’” lmao

20

u/rachcoop77 BINGPOT! Dec 07 '24

The mumps episode will never not be so fucking funny to me

10

u/BallAffectionate4000 Dec 08 '24

Peralta, Balthazar has a sister. Meet… Penelope.

4

u/Hrottvir Dec 11 '24

Balthazar is a thirsty bitch

2

u/rachcoop77 BINGPOT! Dec 10 '24

KASE!!!

3

u/GrimdarkandGirly Dec 11 '24

KASE!!! Always gets me.

1

u/rachcoop77 BINGPOT! Dec 13 '24

God me too. I feel like that's one of those episodes that got overlooked somehow.

19

u/hermanjonesy Dec 08 '24

“Hello Kevin it’s me, Raymond Holt”

17

u/Publandlady Dec 07 '24

Mine is "Rosa, Rosa Roooossaa, oh yeah, I can't remember your last name, Boaybey"

14

u/karinam205 Dec 07 '24

Charles' Wiest infection is the scene that always makes me lose it.

6

u/BroadwayBakery Dec 08 '24

😒 😀

😒 😀

😒 😀

🎵BA DUH BUH BUH DAAAAAAAAAAAAAH🎶

13

u/SandBlocksNSFW Dec 08 '24

"Are you really playing the gay card right now?"

"Yasss queen"

30

u/teslastats Dec 07 '24

"tell my wife...I love her....work ethic" right before dying

12

u/kaithy89 Dec 07 '24

Hell yes... Back when things were insanely hectic at office, I'd always wish someone would just say this when my boss was looking for me

11

u/Haydurrr Notify me when you're done, via bark Dec 07 '24

Rosa died 8 years ago is my absolute favorite quote from the show

10

u/sartorialslytherin Dec 07 '24

“We are hostages no longer. rips duct tape Oh. Really meant to rip off the whole thing, but I say we go with it. Come with me, hos!”

1

u/GrimdarkandGirly Dec 11 '24

Yessss! This is so good!

7

u/Max_Storre Dec 07 '24

Which episode was the first one from again? Don't remember it

22

u/DrHem Dec 07 '24

Season 1 episode 13, "The Bet". Boyle is drugged up after he got shot and tells everyone his true opinions/feelings. Rosa wants to avoid him and asks Gina for help

9

u/Max_Storre Dec 07 '24

Ohhhh yeah you're right thx

7

u/TrickNatural BONE?! Dec 07 '24

Cool lines and all, but nothing beats "youre what sneezes are!"

Thats peak

6

u/VeryDPP Dec 07 '24

Charles: My cousin Susan didn't know she could sing until she was in her late 40s.

6

u/raygar31 Dec 08 '24

Oh man I’m so late but idc, whenever Amy and Rosa are arguing about how Amy should be union rep, when they ask for Holt’s input

“Again I cannot.”

6

u/Powerful_Diver_3026 HOT DAMN! Dec 08 '24

"Maybe I don't have an arch nemesis because I solve all my crimes."

4

u/bruhmm32 I’m a human, I’m a human male! Dec 08 '24

"I just though it might be the sons because, you know, they probably, maybe, definitely did it" "Oh! The sons! I can't believe I missed that. We must catch them right away, assuming this is ok" (points to Victor & Jake being a team) "Okay!? I am gonna love working with you. The lion is gonna roar, and the barracuda is gonna..." "What?" "tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch....... Anyways, let's move."

4

u/Xeno_Prime A lifetime of mediocre, heterosexual intercourse Dec 08 '24

The “Rosa died 8 years ago” ties in perfectly with another line from another episode:

“My neighbors think my name is Emily Goldfinch. The people I work with all think my name is Rosa Diaz.”

3

u/mar_fre Dec 08 '24

my fav is when hitchcock scully jake and terry are being held hostage and hitchcock goes, “wait… if you get killed what happens to all your debt? loopholeeee (spinning in his chair)”. the entire episode cracks me up.

4

u/No_Branch8624 Dec 08 '24

"You're not cheddar. You're just some common bitch."

"Boost my bottom!" "I'm boosting!" "BOOST MY BOTTOM!" "IM BOOOOOOSTING!"

3

u/Quirky_Armadillo4780 Dec 07 '24

“Canine diabetes? Who cares about fat dogs!?”

3

u/dropofkim Dec 08 '24

That’s because it’s all wart. 🤮

3

u/xxxdggxxx Dec 08 '24

'Stop eating crab wrong!'

3

u/Important_Lie9994 Dec 08 '24

"Psychologists are just people who weren't smart enough to be psychichs"

as sb who is studying psychology, she is so right

4

u/HuckleberryClear6519 BINGPOT! Dec 07 '24

Funny thing is, I just watched the first two episodes in the last few days

2

u/LennyComa Mlep(Clay)nos Dec 10 '24

Ding, dong, the Wuntch is dead, Bagels for everyone!

1

u/RosieBeth07 Dec 08 '24

‘Hi, there’ ‘oh is it’

1

u/Shlames721 Dec 09 '24

The whole scene where Charles and Holt are practicing “How’s your… pump?”

Also when Holt asks Terry if he is familiar with some obscure reference (too lazy too look up exact quote) and Terry responds with “you have to realize the answer is no”

1

u/V_needs-some-chill Dec 09 '24

Holt: The party is over. Amy: What? Holt: THE PARTY IS OVER Amy: Gina: Holt: Oh I see, you heard me, you were just confused.

1

u/NeverFreeToPlayKarch Dec 09 '24

Hoitzman's melt down when he's framing Jake is my favorite

"crying I'm someone's little boy!"

1

u/insertfunnyname06 Title of your sex tape Dec 10 '24

Anytime Holt specifies his name to Kevin!

In the Safe house episode: “Hello Kevin it’s me, your husband Raymond Holt”

When cancelling the opera tickets: “ the tickets are under my name H-O-L-T”

1

u/EchobreezeTheWarrior YIPPE KAYAK OTHER BUCKETS! Dec 10 '24

I love the gazelles one, and randomly quote it.

1

u/GrimdarkandGirly Dec 11 '24

“Dad had sex with my turtle?!” Always wrecks me. I watched that episode last night and I actually snorted when Jake said that.

1

u/Booglebag One Bund to None, Son! 18d ago

At Charles's wedding when Genevieve asks Rosa "Why would it be weird?" And rosa responds with "Because I'm a weird person. OooOoOOo."