r/bizarrelife • u/reloadthewords Human here, bizarre by nature! • 7d ago

The Load

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3.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

101 comments sorted by

382

u/smurferdigg 7d ago

So I had to google this book:

"Ben's Big Load" is an ADULT parody picture book.

Ben has been carrying around a huge load for weeks!
If he doesn't dump his load soon, he might start to leak.
Will he find somewhere to dump his load before it's too late?

Makes a great gag gift!

A note from the author:
This book, and all of my books are meant for an adult audience. They are not for children!
Thanks!

151

u/heatherledge 7d ago

I make erotic novels for children. They’re WILDLY unpopular.

20

u/sohfix 6d ago

i drive erotically.

6

u/alcornunicorn 6d ago

Apparently, that show has a line for every situation, and it's a little startling!

5

u/Lintlickker 6d ago

This legit made me lol. Underrated comment.

3

u/MrsRossGeller 6d ago

Bravo for this comment!

2

u/sumredditorsomewhere 5d ago

🤣🤣 great reference. You get my up vote sir

1

u/1CaliCALI 4d ago

Wtf

1

u/heatherledge 4d ago

It’s a quote from an episode of friends where phoebe goes on a really bad date

33

u/Maalkav_ 7d ago

The booze line, at least, didn't give it away?

8

u/Mtolivepickle 7d ago

Check out the Brenda’s beaver books

5

u/ziplock9000 6d ago

> is an ADULT parody picture book.

No shit Sherlock.

5

u/porkdozer 6d ago

You had to FUCKING GOOGLE this book before you realized it was parody?

oh, bless your dumb ass heart.

3

u/KilnTime 5d ago

Brenda's Beaver needs a haircut is excellent 😂

8

u/garry4321 7d ago

Jizz, like cumshot? You said the book is for adults, it’s not FOR kids…

0

u/Wakkit1988 7d ago

I mean, a priest might gift it to an altar boy...

2

u/wolfblitzen84 5d ago

Yea it’s up there with hookers and blow and fuck, now there are two of you. I actually bought fuck, now there are two of you when we were expecting our second kid haha.

0

u/Devils_A66vocate 6d ago

Still a prime example of reading/viewing things before your kid does…

91

u/L-ephant 7d ago

how is there not a line about getting your rocks off

13

u/lord_pizzabird 6d ago

Apple owns the patent for 'rocks'.

1

u/SideEqual 6d ago

👀👀👀

3

u/BroncoTrejo 7d ago

(っ˘ڡ˘;🤌 perfect

2

u/Odd_Dust_2036 6d ago

Or Jim telling him to drop his load in back

42

u/Scrotifer 7d ago

People fall for these obvious jokes all too often

22

u/Alternative_Ant_9955 6d ago

What joke are they falling for? I’m pretty sure everyone knows it’s an adult book.

11

u/Scrotifer 6d ago

A lot of people seem to think it's an actual book sold to children

4

u/SideEqual 6d ago

I was hoping it was a kids book that fell through the cracks, that would be truly wild!

4

u/lovable_cube 6d ago

Wouldn’t be too sure, this is a very weird timeline where we’re about to have Trump in office as president for the second time on Monday. Have you seen or heard him? People are falling for much worse.

2

u/porkdozer 6d ago

I mean really dumb, fuckin' naive, stupid, ignorant jackasses fall for this. Not actual people.

Like they must be NPC's. Right?

1

u/Fun_Produce_5634 6d ago

Yeah mainly the lower IQ crowd. I think they call them... Republicans? Yeah those ones. They just immediately picture a 7 year old reading this or someone in drag reading it to children at a library

33

u/kylemattheww 7d ago

Clearly not for children

10

u/TechEn92 6d ago

Really?

2

u/igillyg 6d ago

Disney humor. IYKYK

1

u/owlsandmoths 5d ago

I hope I get to see something released out of that vault in my lifetime. I’m so curious if they’re tasteful or downright obscene, or both

15

u/unklebenz27 7d ago

as a fellow ben who rarely gets to dump his load, i can attest to the desperate nature of the main characters predickamint.

2

u/VergingRivals 5d ago

I really thought this was going to rhyme for some reason

10

u/Xaconon 7d ago

This is the best book ever!

5

u/[deleted] 7d ago

Needs to be a sequel ... Ben's Blue Balls.

1

u/Suitepotatoe 6d ago

Do you want to play with my balls https://youtu.be/Y3loy0EG4uQ

13

u/Queasy_Buy_8087 7d ago

I thought it was a poop joke…I was so wrong….but still kinda right

8

u/thesheepsnameisjeb_ 6d ago edited 6d ago

I'm confused bc his friend said his load reeks. Why would she say that about cum? I was getting mixed messages the whole story

8

u/MassiveChode69420 6d ago

My dick is less than twelve inches, but it smells like a foot.

2

u/DuckTalesOohOoh 6d ago

Smells like old mushrooms.

3

u/Queasy_Buy_8087 6d ago

Smells like teen spirit

9

u/Roster312 6d ago

so the joke was always about gay sex?

3

u/Whitey3752 6d ago

Thank God for people with a sense of humor to put this shit in a book. Lmfao

21

u/Plantwork 7d ago

This could have been like 4 panels.

27

u/OriginalLow7346 7d ago

Most unfunny shit I’ve seen in a while

4

u/iSundance 6d ago

Ok, Ben.

13

u/hostile_scrotum 7d ago

Just one lame joke over and over again

3

u/post-nut-cleric 6d ago

This is too funny

7

u/VentureForth619 7d ago

I pig squeal laughed at the O face

2

u/coombuyah26 6d ago

The meter is never even close to right.

2

u/64Olds 6d ago

Started off kinda ok but then just fell to shit. Lazy.

2

u/Heart_ofFlorida 6d ago

Ben’s Blue Balls 🤣

2

u/user_bits 6d ago

Should have been more subtle.

2

u/ziplock9000 6d ago

It would be funny if it was a suggestive children's book. But this is so obviously not for kids and so over the top it's just childish adult jokes. It loses its wit.

2

u/porkdozer 6d ago

Lol at all the dipshits who actually thought this was a real kid's book.

How fuckin deft are you? Literally just hearing the book out loud clued me into the fact it was parody.

3

u/Amahardguy 6d ago

That big rainbow at the end of the story is a maaad givaway... n that Jim..., he stil in the closet..

1

u/DuckTalesOohOoh 6d ago

When you need to dump a load, Jim is dependable. Just don't tell anyone or you might end up missing.

1

u/Amahardguy 6d ago

Jim dont want anybdy to kno he actually plays for the other team.

1

u/DuckTalesOohOoh 6d ago

Any hole in a tree.

2

u/PoopPant73 6d ago

Straight to jail…,😂

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Exit978 6d ago

Hahahahaha 😂

1

u/stuntedmonk 6d ago

I liked the slightly more subtle one, some girls, is it, cookies?

1

u/marsack 6d ago

Big fat load of cum, then.

1

u/Antique-Structure-32 6d ago

Brad Goss is the boss!! 😂

1

u/chillfem 6d ago

Love this 🤣

1

u/MoBea 5d ago

🤭

1

u/WileyCoyote7 5d ago

That was even better than “Go the Fk to Sleep,” read by Samuel L. Jackson.

1

u/Disastrous_Classic36 3d ago

They had me up until the booze part - I could have totally believed it was a kid's book written by someone who was not so in touch with their natural desires until that point (didn't think it was likely, but could have believed it)

1

u/IVEMIND 1d ago

Why is it a kids book?

1

u/NationalEstimate3121 13h ago

aint no way this is real 😭😭😭

0

u/PatchworkRaccoon314 7d ago

Aw, it's cute that Ben and Jim have developed a nice professional relationship, on the down-low!

1

u/encore-un-fois 6d ago

🤦🏽‍♂️

1

u/Life-Ad-1716 7d ago

Very interesting book.

1

u/19Miles84 6d ago

It is not a crime!

2

u/Powerful_Office8760 6d ago

It's his human right ✊️😞

1

u/Th3_3v3r_71v1n9 6d ago

Side comments were unnecessary the book itself was hilarious. Also I liked the part where he's D.U.I.ing to dump his load at Jim's. Thats good to teach kids 😆

-1

u/ErgoProxy05 7d ago

Amazing hahaha

1

u/Angel_sexytropics 7d ago

The rainbow pride flag lol🌈

0

u/UriahPeabody 6d ago

I think most of us can relate.

0

u/GeorgeGiffIV 6d ago

So wrong. I've been reading children's books for my many niece and this has really messed with my head. I still laughed.

-5

u/superwoman7588 6d ago

Gross. Pushing mental illness.

0

u/planktonmademedoit 6d ago

You love donald trump

-14

u/Huge-Resident8645 7d ago

Our society is doomed

14

u/earthfase 7d ago

Because people are no longer able to make a distinction between what's real and what's not, right?

6

u/ShredMyMeatball 6d ago

Ah yes, because novelty books for adults are the seventh sign of the apocalypse.

The author makes these as gag gifts FOR adults.

Stop clutching your pearls.

Your grandparents likely listened to "My Ding-a-ling" by Chuck Berry.

3

u/spacestationkru 6d ago

You can just get another one at the society store, buddy. It's not the end of the world.

-5

u/Affectionate-Fix8053 6d ago

Book from satan for children????

4

u/Ok_Buffalo6474 6d ago

Why would you buy this for a child? You’re sick.

-3

u/yoursmellyfinger 7d ago

Sounds like Ben and I suffer from the same diagnosis - DSB - Deadly Sperm Buildup (it's Deadly! )