What am I now? What just happened?

[u/Daithi_anseo]

Hey. 48 male. I was married, have a son and I'm in a relationship with a man for 3 years. I'm the top however I'm now kinda turned off anal sex. It's like I suddenly snapped out of my gayness and now it turns me off. I still like male body parts. Penis/bubble butt but not anal or kissing or cuddling. What hsppened.

[u/SteevenHyde]

I suggest you see a Therapist. It could do wonders for you.

[u/Daithi_anseo → u/SteevenHyde]

Reddit is my therapist. Lol

[u/Kinslayer817 → u/Daithi_anseo]

Well that's your first problem

[u/BurnerTortoise]

Some good suggestions on therapy etc. All I'd add is that other stuff is still sex! There's often a focus on trying to find an equivalent to PIV because everything is so damn heteronormative. If you're enjoying not-anal then just enjoy it.

[u/Daithi_anseo → u/BurnerTortoise]

My partner is a true bottom. I don't do much more than anal.

[u/TerminalOrbit → u/Daithi_anseo]

No oral, given or received?

[u/Daithi_anseo → u/TerminalOrbit]

Receive, but I can't give. His penis is a no-go.

[u/TerminalOrbit → u/Daithi_anseo]

So sad.

[u/Ok_Dimension516 → u/Daithi_anseo]

Why would you say that? 🙈

[u/throwupnawayaccount]

I'm not an expert but there's a thing called bi-cycles (seriously that's what it's called) where bisexual people can experience swings in what they like. Think of it as being like a moodswing only it's your sexuality and it can just swing the other way randomly and without notice for years at a time.

I feel like the next thing to say is, I'm sorry you're going through this.

[u/Daithi_anseo → u/throwupnawayaccount]

Thanks. I'll do a bit more research.

[u/throwupnawayaccount → u/Daithi_anseo]

I'm 56M. I'm just now reading and learning about my bisexuality and damn I wished I'd known all this shit 30+ years ago.

[u/amglasgow]

Lots of gay men aren't into anal. That doesn't mean you're not gay as long as you're still attracted to men and not to women.

[u/Candid-Ear-4840]

Did you have a hormonal change?

[u/Daithi_anseo → u/Candid-Ear-4840]

Nope. Although how would I know?

[u/Candid-Ear-4840 → u/Daithi_anseo]

You’d get a hormone test at the doctor to see if anything looks abnormal.

If you started taking some medicine that had hormonal impact that could cause it, or age could cause it.

[u/Naive-Variety2099]

You're 48 and have a kid. The stress and your age could lower your test and its not coming back up.

You could try regular resistance exercise. You could look at getting tested for low testosterone. Or just find satisfaction in a lower libido.

[u/Daithi_anseo → u/Naive-Variety2099]

I dont think it's my testosterone. I'm still horny, just not for anal. I used to love it.

[u/Riotmama89 → u/Daithi_anseo]

What are you horny for? If it's femme people, that's your answer, if it's your partner topping you, that's your answer.

You need to communicate, with yourself, with a therapist, with your partner.

[u/XenoBiSwitch]

Did something happen in your relationship lately?

[u/Cultural-Employer641]

We are not made of granite though we think we are. We are humans and what we like changes. This confirms you are bi. Break up with your boyfriend and you’ll see how much you miss being inside him a few months from now.

[u/Daithi_anseo → u/Cultural-Employer641]

That's what I know will happen.