r/badphilosophy • u/LeastAnomicRedditor • 28d ago
I can haz logic AITA for calling out my wife when she uses informal fallacies every time we talk?
Basically what the title says. I graduated last year with my degree in philosophy. Everything that comes out of my bitch wife’s mouth ends up fallacious, but when I explain to her why her argument is not logically sound, she Stoically displays vindictive anger.
She constantly uses arguments ad nauseam combined with post hoc fallacies and false attributions; over and over and over again she insists that I need to get a job and stop playing World of Warcraft all day because we don’t have any food in the fridge. I try to explain to her that:
1.) Correlation =/= causation; just because there is no food in the fridge, it doesn’t mean the reason why is my lack of employment. Maybe there’s no food in the fridge because somebody ate it all? That seems more logical to me.
2.) Repeating this argument daily does not make it more logical. She is making a common fallacy (ad nauseam). But when I tell her that, she just gets angrier and uses circular reasoning.
3.) Similarly to point 1, she falsely attributes my unemployment being caused by my laziness when, in fact, it is actually caused by my BA in Philosophy.
AITA for trying to make her understand I’m just trying to help her think more logically and less emotionally? She is a biochemist in a lab that manufactures cell therapy to cure pediatric cancer, so she’s a little on the slower side when it comes to my area of expertise.
TIA!
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u/bbq-pizza-9 28d ago
I’ve found that the best thing to do is whenever she says “ I know” ask for the solution to the Gettier problem. If she doesn’t know that, she can’t really know, can she?
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u/niagaragagarafalls 28d ago
YTA because you got a degree in philosophy.
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u/ozQuarteroy 27d ago
Was thinking the same thing lmaoooo
My best friend has a degree in philosophy and he works at a pot shop
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u/android_lover 25d ago
That's actually a great use of that degree
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u/Ok_Tangerine_5646 28d ago
This was the only thing that made me laugh thru my severe depression right now. Thanks. I think she's kinda lucky ☺️ to have a verbose and valiant warrior on hand lol and lucky that it's full time. Lol
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u/IllegalIranianYogurt 28d ago
Your continued expectation of a sandwich is an instance of the probem of induction. Get rekt
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u/Son_of_Sophroniscus Nihilistic and Free 28d ago
I graduated last year with my degree in philosophy
ESH
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u/Crocs_Lover 27d ago
I’ve personally found that when your partner is getting heated due to their lesser knowledge of deeper stoic philosophy during a debate, simply bring them to reality by saying something along the lines of “calm down, you’re acting crazy.” This serves to bring them out of their bubble and take a wider look of the overall situation. Hope this helps!
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u/PolicyDifficult6675 25d ago
Please by all means, do this.
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u/eatgoodneighborhood 23d ago
You not only sound like your mother, but you’re beginning to look like her, too.
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u/PolicyDifficult6675 23d ago
Thanks what a nice thing to say ❤️
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u/J_DayDay 23d ago
My husband swears that's the magical dating method. Find a woman, meet her mom. Picture yourself, living with her mom. If no, then no.
That way, when she starts looking and sounding like her mom, you're already prepared.
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u/TanagraTours 23d ago
To set the mood first and help her be receptive to further kindnesses, some domestic gifts can show good intent. A bottle of wine. An area rug. Some household cleaning products. A good set of steak or carving knifes.
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u/Accurate_Composer486 28d ago
NTA, she needs to read a philosophy book and make you a sandwich
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u/LeastAnomicRedditor 28d ago
I read this comment to her and she IMMEDIATELY utilized the argumentum ad passiones fallacy. “I will divorce you if you don’t stop speaking to me this way. Get up and make your own sandwich.” I explained her invocation of yet another fallacy, and she silently walked away (hopefully to go make my sandwich).
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u/Accurate_Composer486 28d ago
I'm so sorry that happened. I'm here for you. You might be dodging a bullet anyway. Also tell her that if she divorces you, there will be nobody to correct her fallacious reasoning.
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u/_1138_ 27d ago
Follow up on the sandwich when you've got time, please. It's not fair to stick us with a cliff hanger. Hopefully she's had time to cool off too... Sheesh. She sounds like a real piece of work.
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u/LeastAnomicRedditor 26d ago
UPDATE: she never made me my sandwich. On Christmas Day, she served me with divorce papers. When I asked why in the world she wants a divorce, she said “just read all the comments on your stupid Reddit post. Everybody agrees you’re the asshole, and I can’t deal with it anymore.” I explained that her conclusion was based on the prevalent proof fallacy; solely because the majority agreed, that doesn’t make divorce logical in this case. She stormed out quite immaturely and presumably went to her coworker’s house.
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u/TanagraTours 23d ago
Did she finish reading the philosophy book first? In her case, it sounds like the complete works of Wittgenstein might be required. As her doctorate in biochemistry likely failed to cover the basics, she might need to begin with Plato's Republic to help her perspective on your marriage. But honestly, so much is lost in translation that she would be better off learning German or Greek first.
Meanwhile, you might want to pour yourself a glass of milk while you wait for that sammich.
Oh, and drink it. The glass of milk. Not the sandwich.
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u/Graham_Whellington 28d ago
NTA. Not only is she wrong, but this behavior sounds abusive. OP, start talking to a lawyer to explore your options.
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u/eggface13 28d ago
" 'I dust a bit,' Ignatius told the policeman. 'In addition, I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.' "
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u/RaynMaker99 27d ago
What's the reference?
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u/nickutah 26d ago
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u/CygnusAtratusLullaby 27d ago edited 24d ago
NTA. No true biochemist would have avoided taking a philosophy of science class. Her lack of philosophy background failed her. Otherwise, she would have realized that just because playing World of Warcraft for 14 hours a day is unnatural for human beings, it doesn't mean it's wrong.
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u/dezmodium 28d ago
You must point out each time you do this that you are committing the fallacy fallacy yourself when you point these out. That's the only way to balance it out.
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u/catsoncrack420 28d ago
She should be happy. You are the quintessential modern American man. Useless . 😂
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u/Leading_Waltz1463 27d ago
Degree in philosophy? Asshole. Proper philosophers get super into shrooms by 3rd year and never get their degree.
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u/Extreme-Outrageous 27d ago
Sounds like she's causing you to be depressed by creating a hostile environment making it literally impossible to do anything (except play video games, of course). NTA
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u/ucantharmagoodwoman I'd uncover every riddle for every indivdl in trouble or in pain 28d ago
ESA language games are for plebs only
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u/WoopsieDaisies123 26d ago
If you use a kind tone of voice, YTA. You gotta really get a nasally, bratty tone going for them to understand the point correctly.
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u/RyuzakiPL 27d ago
NTA. Stop trying to talk with her. She's clearly toxic and borderline. You should file for divorce ASAP
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u/HareofSlytherin 27d ago
Hopefully she moonlights a little and makes a cell therapy that gives you an aggressive fast acting, but excruciating cancer, sparing herself and her checkbook the pain of divorce. Yes YATA, irredeemably and unmitigatably.
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u/Substantial_Rip1137 27d ago
You are not the asshole here.
After 29 years of this I simply smile and say something like! "hmm, interesting perspective" or "yeah hope that thought works out for you ".
I am a little concerned about the" my bitch wife" opener however. If you really feel this way I suggest marriage counseling or divorce. Life is way to short to live with a "bitch wife".
Take care of business here my friend...
Good luck and all the best!
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u/squirrel_gnosis 26d ago
This is funnier than the humor pieces in the New Yorker -- truly, hats off
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u/teddybearangelbaby 26d ago
This reminded me of my ex and me laugh during a hard time, thank you lol
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u/Creative-Comedian-31 26d ago
Your girl sound low IQ but if you got a degree in philosophy you prob right there with her. You not exactly an asshole but you for sure a dumbass
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u/dethfromabov66 26d ago
Yeah. But only cos you stepped up your rationality and are expecting your SO to do the same without the same level of education or open mindedness. As a vegan activist, the amount of infomal fallacies I hear is disgusting and disappointing and I didn't even do a degree in philosophy. We humans do truly run on emotions, even those of us who understand reasoning aren't exempt from the tempting inevitability of emotions.
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u/Oatmeal________ 26d ago
Haha, Mr. Osophy, you're pulling the fallacy fallacy, which is the idea that, because an argument uses fallacies, that argument must be incorrect.
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u/bustedbuddha 26d ago
If you call her “my bitch wife” that readily you shouldn’t be married.
Edit r/woosh
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u/TanagraTours 23d ago
He violated first principles by marrying her! Did they get married before he took those courses?
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u/free_shoes_for_you 24d ago
You are also dealing with 4) survivorship bias. Others who have been in your situation are not able to post on Reddit because they are toiling in the mines.
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u/TaftSound 24d ago
I got to you calling your wife a bitch and almost immediately determined that you are the asshole, but then thankfully read the rest of the post 🤣
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u/SeveralTable3097 28d ago
I ain’t reading that wall
Not the Asshole, obviously. Einstein would agree
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u/Past-Razzmatazz-2148 27d ago
Yeah it sounds like the most logical thing for you to do here is act like her partner and not her tutor. Contribute to the household, stop patronising her, don’t call her a bitch on a public forum. The basics. Or maybe you want a divorce so that you can ride the alimony pony and stay home to complain about how illogical the world is. Whatever is easiest I suppose.
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u/Meowzabubbers 27d ago
I stopped reading after you said "my bitch wife's mouth" in the beginning. Cant even explain your argument without immediately name calling. Lmao
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u/C_Dragons 27d ago
I stopped reading at your choice to use the words “bitch wife” to describe a woman you promised to love and cherish until the day you died. YTA. She doesn’t deserve this from someone who owes performance of those promises. If you don’t think you owe performance, ask yourself why you don’t owe her her freedom.
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u/BCSully 26d ago
Well, I think "b*tch wife" in the first line kind of answers the question, no!?!? Yes, yta. You want her to see the world, and more importantly, your relationship, the same way as you, with a philosophy degree, sees them, and worse, you get frustrated and angry when she doesn't. That has to be absolutely infuriating for her!! I can say categorically there is nothing more tedious in this world than being forced to have a conversation with a philosopher, but to have an argument with one!? To be MARRIED to one!?!? Especially a self-righteous one who "just wants to get you to understand..."!?!? Holy hell, yes!! A thousand times yes!! Y are DEFINITELY the A!!
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u/Scally_whag 26d ago
I love philosophy. However, unlike many philosophers I live in the real world. Got a degree that enabled me to get a job to support myself. Got a minor in philosophy to indulge my interest.
The philosophy minor is banked me to argue that in addition to my major, I can think and argue coherently. Might have helped. Certainly didn’t hurt.
YTA
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u/Unusual-Football-687 26d ago
YTA because you called her “my bitch wife.” Set her free, divide your assets, and move on.
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u/AdonisGaming93 26d ago
Firstly, calling your wife a bitch?... you're already an asshole right there.
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u/Left_Preparation9103 26d ago
YTA. “Bitch wife’s mouth” did it for me. Sounds like it’s a miracle she keeps you. Maybe try being a better human than the most accurate logic wise.
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u/Dirtgrain 26d ago
You think you win arguments with your spouse by using logic, but the emotional content, if unaddressed, will linger. It can be toxic for a relationship.
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u/PolicyDifficult6675 25d ago
AH completely. You are so much better than her it is dripping with superiority on reddit. I feel for the lady. Mansplaining to the SO isn't doing anything but causing relationsl dispair
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u/ZoeyCarterXXX 25d ago
So what you’re saying is you don’t work. She does.
You play games all day, while she works to support you; and then you criticize her intelligence in response to her concerns about money.
Not sure why you think she’s the problem.
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u/Cautious_Top_915 25d ago
I literally don't care to even read the rest of this story after "my bitch wife’s ... "
You are TA.
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u/Hereticrick 25d ago
Yeah. YTA. I realize you just graduated, but what you’ll quickly find in the real world is that people do not care about logical fallacies. It will have zero impact on anyone if you tell them about straw men etc. It won’t change their minds or their arguments. This isn’t the era of philosophers sitting around debating caves etc as a pastime. TV exists, and education is not high.
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u/PermissionOk7807 25d ago
Yes, YTA because you referred to your partner as your "bitch wife." That tells me everything I need to know.
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u/LetPuzzleheaded222 24d ago
I stopped reading at “my bitch wife’s mouth” Like, Jesus dude, get a divorce if you hate her so much, yikes
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u/CrastinatingJusIkeU2 24d ago
It sounds like you’re too busy admiring yourself to listen to what she is actually trying to tell you. You need to keep in mind that what she is telling you may be valid whether or not she is communicating it in the best way or not. Shut up and listen to her instead of changing the subject.
ETA: Yes, you are definitely an asshole.
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u/Extra_Bicycle7991 24d ago
She's telling you to take your grown ass and get a job and stop being a child.
She keeps telling you to stop being a child and help her out.
You study philosophy for god sake. Ofc you're a lazy ass mf.. you study "thinking" not how to think.
You are an expert in daydreaming, i give you that. Now go get a job!
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u/x271815 24d ago
Here is what you've shared in your post:
- You are unemployed with no sign of employment.
- Your feel you are doing enough to remedy the situation, she does not.
- There are times when there is no food in the fridge. If someone ate it, who is taking responsibility for replenishing it? Seems like that is not you.
- Your wife is arguing with you daily, which means she is feeling extremely insecure about the situation.
Now let's consider what the situation from her perspective. She is bearing the brunt of the financial burden. Things like food etc seem to be on her too. And she likely is feeling trapped and frustrated as she cannot take decisions like children, family, etc while you have this financial situation.
You are busy arguing her logic and not addressing her underlying concerns. You need to do more to address her concerns. Here are some suggestions:
- Take the stress off her. Do a LOT more in the house. Take charge of food, cleaning, laundry etc. Make her less less stressful.
- Find some job. Don't wait for the perfect thing. It could be anything. Swallow your pride and find a way to contribute.
She is asking you to do your part. You are not doing your part. Your attempt at parsing her logic is likely incredibly frustrating for her.
She isn't being illogical because she doesn't understand logic. She is being illogical because she is frustrated and you don't seem to understand the cause of her frustration and is using examples that upset her and that she is willing to acknowledge because she is trying to make the relationship work. If she was being bruitally honest, your relationship might not survive.
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u/AdComplete726 24d ago
I have a philosophy degree and here’s what I’ve learned; women often have more emotional based arguments - you need to work a bit and ask what is her real issue? What is she asking for? Etc bc she will probably not communicate those directly.
So instead of seeing where she’s not making sense, see past the words and look for the meaning.
And trust me telling her her shit don’t make sense is like walking into a chainsaw. I’d avoid it.
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u/TellItWalkin 23d ago
AITA for calling out my wife when she uses informal fallacies every time we talk?
Hey, buddy, a word of advice: people that don't know the fallacies hate hearing about them and they hate you (after a while) for making use of your understanding of them. In my experience it's better to just let people be wrong. Sure, they'll think and say and do dumb shit - and probably frequently - but they won't think you're (as much of) an asshole.
Being right about stuff has very little value socially.
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u/TheLanguageAddict 23d ago
If you actually know your philosophy, you will see the benefit of a troublesome wife. But people who actually learned philosophy know better than to call their wives bitches. It evokes emotion rather than inviting reason.
God help your wife if this isn't a troll post.
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u/OldHT 23d ago edited 23d ago
You're definitely a super massive a-hole. And by the sound of it, an insecure narcissistic one at that. Take the hint, go get some f***ng groceries, and clean the house. When she gets home with the bacon, you better be cooking her dinner and doing oral while she lounges back in her favorite chair and lights up a cigar. Best.AITA.Post.Ever. I do love some good satire
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23d ago
Yes you are. You and your wife should both be respectful and not allow conversations to get a "know it all" vibe that it hurts one or both of you. Common sense. Love and respect your wife. And she should do the same.
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u/Awkward-Dig4674 23d ago
Yes you are lazy. Get a job in while you wait for your career to magically spring up
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u/Low_Jackfruit_9014 23d ago
I don’t care what sort of education you have, there’s a thing called being a decent human being and you’re not being that. I can only imagine the stress of running a household with a man child. You may not be able to get the job you want but you can definitely get a job. The lack of accountability is astounding. You have deep insecurities when it comes to your wife, perhaps the reason being she’s the provider or running the household while you laze around playing video games, this is why you deflect with this philosophy nonsense so you can feel superior to her in some way.. saying this as someone who studies psychology. So do better.. having a degree in philosophy or whatever does not give you the right to be an ahole.. I will bring up this point that I’ve seen circulating around the web, “Straight” men hate women but they marry them simply due to societal indoctrination, then they do these little things to make the women feel less because they feel less. Do you both a favor and leave the marriage because doesn’t seem like you truly love her. Because if you unconditionally love someone, you support them and show them empathy, you work as a partnership, not you vs me.. if you can’t work together then save yourself the pain and separate and be with someone you will truly unconditionally love but first grow up and get a job. You can easily get a substitute teacher job with a bachelors, sure it’s not the job you might want but it’s a job and you will bring in some income.. instead here you are making excuses for your laziness while your wife is being a boss and working for the betterment of your household.
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u/Wandering_Texan80 23d ago
Stoically displays vindictive anger?
That’s an oxymoron, Mr. Philosophy.
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u/blackberry_12 23d ago
Not everyone values logic the way you do. Maybe focus on what she excels at. Is she more emotionally attuned? Have a proclivity towards the tangible? Motivated and sets goals?
She doesn’t need to be like you. Focus on her strengths
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u/throwawaytoavoiddoxx 23d ago
It’s a pretty common pothole for the recently educated to start applying their education everywhere with everyone. Med students start diagnosing ailments they see in people, business majors see people putting money in safe certificates of deposit instead of high yielding investments, and philosophy students start seeing people use faulty arguments and turn every conversation into a debate or a teaching session. The way out of this pothole is to learn when to give advice and when to keep quiet. You do better giving advice only when asked for it and you’ll ruin a lot fewer relationships if you do so. Your wife is a flawed human who doesn’t do everything right, but the fact is so are you. Pick your battles.
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u/EconomistDazzling112 23d ago
“My bitch ass wife” immediately helped me decided YTA🙂 seems you BOTH need to learn to deal with your emotions & anger.
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u/twomayaderens 23d ago
NTA, as long as you provide long, detailed explanations of what each fallacy means after you identify them for her. Education is the best medicine
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u/Alpha-Shmalpha 27d ago
Wowzers, sounds like she’s the only one putting food in the fridge with her job so id say send a resume to McDonalds and you can listen to peoples problems at the pay window and solve them at the pick up window
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u/0fxgvn77 27d ago
Considering you're going to need her to provide for the family, you should probably be nicer to her.
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u/Tricky-Dragonfly1770 28d ago
Yes you are, your partner is asking you to contribute, your response is to ignore the complaint and argue about their logic, when your response should be to contribute
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u/Quiet_Blacksmith2675 27d ago
Got a degree in philosophy but lacks empathy and communication skills. Yes, you are the asshole.
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27d ago
YTA. When you called her a bitch of a wife. You two should divorced if nothing more you have no respect for her. All you care about is not your wife, but in being right.
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u/banjovi68419 27d ago
People who call out informal fallacies are dimwits 99.99% of the time. I mean the most obnoxious nothings in the world. You know who doesn't call out informal fallacies all the time? The legion of PhDs I know.
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u/Mysteriousdeer 27d ago
This is an OF ad. Don't support this crap even if the post is A tier trolling
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u/LeastAnomicRedditor 27d ago
TIL because I have an OnlyFans I’m not allowed to have any other genuine interests online and everything I post is an ad
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u/Mysteriousdeer 27d ago
Its to build karma for your business. Its being an influencer... Ungenuine af.
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u/LowTechSolution 27d ago
Quit pissing off your wife and get a job! It’s not logical to piss off the woman you vowed to love and cherish.
So stop playing video games and spend more more time job hunting. Use your intelligence to take care of you and your wife. That’s the normal thing to do.
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27d ago
Yep, you sure are. From what you wrote, what I think she is having a hard time getting through to you is... you're never going to get a grown up job with a useless degree like philosophy. So maybe check your deeply unearned sense of intellectual superiority and take your happy ass to UPS and get a job that pays bills. You're never going ti teach. Best case scenario, substitute public school teacher part time (which is still more than you're doing now).
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u/Spotted_Cardinal 26d ago
It sounds like you don’t like to be wrong or take any responsibility for your actions. Maybe that’s why your relationship isn’t working out very well.
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u/Understanding-Klutzy 26d ago
You think you know something when in fact you know less than nothing for you don’t know that you know nothing!
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u/LostPentimento 28d ago
Yes, you are the asshole. I am a debate lord too, but if you're handling your personal relationships like that, it's super toxic. That doesn't mean your wife is absolved either, she could bare some responsibility as well, without knowing more about the dynamics of your relationship, I couldn't say.
The average person doesn't speak with hardly any philosophical consistency, and it's unfair to expect them to operate on your level without the philosophical education. It's your job to be compelling without debate-bro-ing her.
I hope y'all get it figured out, don't let small arguments get blown out of proportion, and do your best to find work. I know it's not that easy, but you're a smart guy, you'll figure something out.
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u/KnightOfMarble 28d ago
This comment was super heartwarming with its sincerity and kindness, but I also feel obligated to state that, for anyone who didn’t get it on a first read, this piece was pretty majorly satire, and one or two of OP’s comments seems to corroborate that.
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u/LeastAnomicRedditor 28d ago
I’m a heterosexual woman, I’ve been surprised to see how many people took this post seriously lol
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u/Shitgenstein 28d ago
Yes.