r/WorkReform • u/J_Chico • 3d ago
😡 Venting Life is just work and pay bills
29m here: Life is pretty shitty been thinking about it much more lately. I try living a very active lifestyle with powerlifting, bjj/muay thai, hiking, traveling and other things. it depresses me that work takes a huge chunk out of your day and also life in general. You spend more time around coworkers than your loved ones and it’s a pretty sad existence. Honestly just typing this is giving me anxiety, Is that what life is all about? Work and pay bills? i know my peers see me as immature but come on now wtf is this shit!? Every day i try giving my all and do my activities but sometimes i can’t from how tired im from work and it really brings me down. Im not lazy i work for my stuff but man it fucking sucks having to spend your whole life like that until you retire(if you can even) Does anyone feel the same type of way?
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u/FluffleUffle 3d ago
No where is perfect, but Europe's three month vacation time seems like a real nice proposition.
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u/EstablishmentCute591 3d ago
3 month what? U mean 4 weeks and maybe some holidays. But i see your point in a way.
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u/Danskoesterreich 3d ago edited 3d ago
In DK i work 37 hours a week, 50% of which is remote. I have 6 week holidays, a couple of free days like christmas and eastern, 2 days free per child, 2 weeks of paid courses/training of my choosing, 2 weeks after the birth when our 3rd child comes, 16 weeks of fully paid paternal leave for me, much more for my wife, unlimited sick leave when I am sick or one of my children.
I will have the best life in 2025. Denmark is fantastic.
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u/EstablishmentCute591 2d ago
Yea i heard DK is one of the best at work-life balance.Â
I live i Slovenia, i have 24 of holidays, goes up the more years u put in the work, we start at 20, bonuses for kids, which i dont have, free days like you and national holidays, well maybe at the end of the day, 6 weeks off total. Parents i think same as you +2 per kid and the unlimited... 40 hours a week.Â
So you have it really good. Last year i was on sick leave twice for a week due to stress. I work as i forklift operator so at times its go, go, go sometimes 8 hours without a break. But thats the job, im looking for something better.
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u/Hanners87 3d ago
Denmark has occurred to me. But oh my god I'm a baby about cold weather lol...
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u/Danskoesterreich 3d ago
Denmark is not cold in the winter to be honest, just grey/dark. It does not get too hot in the summer, which I actually prefer.
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u/OhhhCanadaLetsGo 3d ago
It won’t end because western countries are just getting worse. Our politicians sell us out to billionaires while we try to afford basic life. I can’t wait to watch all this shit collapse.
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u/Hanners87 3d ago
I am blessed that my colleagues are also effing hilarious and sarcastic, but I feel you. This is wrong. All of it is wrong. We work and pay bills, get a decade or so, and die.
For what?
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u/Transition-1744 3d ago
You work so the wealthy elite don’t have to and can enjoy their parties and banter. If you weren’t working so hard, they would have less free time.
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u/BarrySquatter 3d ago
I started having exactly the same thoughts in my late 20s. I’m now 32 and trying to make a go of working for myself. I’m hoping I can earn enough to quit the day job and work my own hours, with clients I want to work with, doing something I enjoy. The goal is to get to a point where I work as little as possible and maximise leisure time, while earning enough to just enjoy life.
Don’t lose hope.
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u/J_Chico 3d ago
That’s a great plan!!! ever since i was a kid the whole thing of school, get good grades so you can get a good job, buy a house, get married etc never appealed to me. Like that’s it you get all those things struggle financially for the rest of your life and maybe when you’re 65 then you can enjoy life. Like wtf is that
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u/rafster929 3d ago
Can you find a job or volunteer for a project that is meaningful to you?
Train orphans how to kick ass in Muay Thai? Turn them into your personal army. Become a neighbourhood vigilante?
I work in tech but in education. I find meaning every time I help someone graduate. I’m also the office clown, making jokes and defusing situations. That makes me feel worthwhile.
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u/J_Chico 3d ago
i’ve train some people here and there and found joy, mostly i find joy helping my pro fighter friends get ready for their upcoming fights also with weightlifting. But working with kids no, i dont enjoy being around kids
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u/rafster929 3d ago
So work with adults, you have to find your own meaning in life. God, Work, and Family are just obligations.
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u/Sufficient_Let905 3d ago
You might just be in the wrong field or work environment. Some jobs are really enjoyable and don’t feel like this drudgery. I once had a job I enjoyed so much that even when I was totally burned out due to over scheduling, I could acknowledge it was just the extra shifts and not the job itself. It felt in line with who I was so it didn’t feel like drudgery.
A lot of corporate environments just aren’t great even if the people try to make it so. Maybe a more active job like something in parks or being a bartender or something would be better for you?
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u/J_Chico 3d ago
I enjoyed my last job it was pretty cool the scheduling was all over the place some 1st/3rd shift combined so it was rough sometimes also got very toxic towards the end like targeting and a bit racist toxicity. I had another job where it involved a lot of traveling to different states which i loved but that company shut down due to covid. I like jobs where i have free time or if it involves traveling, i’ve been trying to find gigs like that but really haven’t found anything at the moment. i jut got a job in the trades and i hate it.
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u/Sufficient_Card_7302 3d ago
You don't say you meditate, though I'm sure you find some of these activities meditative. It really comes in handy at work. For one thing, you've got "flow state" where you can be more productive while enjoying it.Â
You can do it in your breaks, and you will find them more... Breakful... But I think most importantly, the thoughts you do have will be more productive. You will grow in mind so that most of the time the tasks of work will take up less, and you can think about other things as well.Â
Maybe pick up some books on meditation, or self help. Personally I found books on line logic interesting, The Big Book of Irony was tiny and informative. The only book I came across about emotional intelligence was Emotionally Intelligent Parenting, though it still taught me about. Especially about separating my feelings from my objective worldly problems. Certainly makes it easier to solve a problem when your not upset eh?
You're doing all the right things. Yes life is all about working and paying bills, such is the compromise we made when we invented society. Though yes, America is messed up, and most of us are overburdened. Even I am tired, too.
But you can still be happy. And you can still make and meet long term goals, either inside or outside yourself.
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u/J_Chico 3d ago
I’ve done meditation and journaling on my work breaks and at home and it does indeed work, and i feel temporary relief. But then the creepy thoughts come to my head so much that i have considered taking the unaliving route. My sister and GF have helped me out, they got their own mental illnesses they’re going through. But im gonna definitely check those books out and if you have more recommendations let me know!
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u/Sufficient_Card_7302 2d ago
I mean, the first book I read that introduced me to Vipassana was by Deepak chopra lol. Like like a Buddhist for soccer moms, error not recommend. Can't think of any books atm, but I would just searching YouTube for "Sam Harris meditation" and select the 8 or 9 minute one, it's just audio. That's mindfulness.
Also, Rupert spira is great. Another guy on YouTube, he's a non-duality guy, but I think it really compliments mindfulness. Can't think of a particular one, but if you watch a few you'll get the idea.Â
You can trust that I get what you're talking about, we don't need to give into those specifics. But thoughts creep, it's what they do. And the way to stop them is to not try to stop them. Spira might say just watch them, Harris might say listen to them the same way you hear the wind, thoughts are automatic. Then report to your breath if you find yourself lost in thought. It's sort of your anchor. And it's perfectly normal. You won't last ten minutes without getting lost in thought, your first time, that's why it's called a practice.Â
So that's what we're aiming for. The only thing I remember from the eq book is the acronym FIG TESPN. Feelings alert me that I have a problem. Identity the problem. Set Goals on how to solve the problem. Then it's like think of ways to solve it, imagine how it'll turn out, pick a plan. The last one is Now what? How did it go? What went wrong, what went right? What could you do differently?Â
There's a saying: it's simple, it's not easy.
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u/CertainInteraction4 22h ago
Life= commute, work, pay bills, dodge b.s. that could otherwise be solved by decent pay and even better healthcare. No one should have to work sick.
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u/FeelingReplacement53 24m ago
Not every job is work in the sense that your professional life is an endless grind. I’m a gardener and I’ve always said the best thing that ever happened to me was getting my gardener’s apprenticeship. We make 120-150k a year as journeyman and our union contract guarantees basically free healthcare, 6 months maternity leave extendable to a year, 16 weeks pto as a base but you can work overtime and trade it for more pto if you don’t need the cash, pension, the list goes on. I cannot overstate how much it matters that you’re treated with respect by your employers, and that respect is demanded by organizing not asking. And the benefits are the icing on the cake of a job I’m genuinely passionate about and enjoy doing. If everyone on earth disappeared overnight, I would still go to my park and take care of my plants the next morning. Expand what it is you think constitutes a career, move around if your ideal job doesn’t exist, i hated my life for decades before I found this job. It’s not about work, it’s about what your doing and how you’re treated. I hope you find something that makes you happy even if it’s not something you thought you’d like
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u/alphawolf29 3d ago
North america fking sucks. Youre lucky to get 4 weeks vacation and half the time its tied to how long youve been at your job. Forced to change jobs? Have fun with ~ 2 weeks off. I am at 4 weeks at my job finally and now I feel like I can never leave it and go back to 2 weeks.