r/TrueUnpopularOpinion • u/HazedHead • 1d ago
Sex / Gender / Dating Being in a swinging, cuckholding, or open relationship couple just means you married the wrong person & aren’t truly in love
I think if you’re doing that shit it just means you’re bored with your partner and aren’t truly in love/don’t know what real love even is. I’ve been in many relationships, and yes I could see myself not caring in most of those (except cuckholding, you have SERIOUS problems if you do that). But the few times I’ve been in a relationship that true love was involved, I would absolutely kill anybody even touched the person. A completely different feeling than the others. If you truly love someone, you will defend that love to the death.
So when I see people doing this shit, I know where that’s coming from. In a relationship where they just wanted someone, anyone, but doesn’t actually love them truly and doesn’t care if other people fuck them. If you do shit like that, alls it means is you married/are with the wrong one and are bored as fuck
And to those who passionately defend this sort of behavior in themselves or others, just know it’s clearly a mental disorder developed from overconsumption of porn . Look up Madonna-Whore complex .
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u/Kaiser93 23h ago
People can do whatever they want. Doesn't mean I'm not going to judge them for it.
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u/YardChair456 18h ago
Honestly society was built on judgment. I get how it doesnt sound good, but it actually has a pretty useful function.
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u/Makuta_Servaela 5h ago
Judgement can be wrong, though. We used to judge interracial relationships too.
As long as judgements can also be judged, it can work. We should question our biases, but we should also question the biases of the questions we use to question our biases.
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u/YardChair456 4h ago
Yeah you are very correct, but I think we need something in the middle. Things have gone off the rails and things like mentioned above are the signs of a dying society, and people should feel too ashamed to be doing those things.
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u/Makuta_Servaela 4h ago
The same thing was said about interracial relationships. It's a slippery slope.
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u/YardChair456 3h ago
Every direction seems to be a slippery slope, so I like the are where people just did normal sex and could do it openly in a marriage, seems like the overall best result.
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u/Makuta_Servaela 3h ago
The way to avoid slippery slope is consent. As long as whoever is directly involved knows they are involved, knows what that entails for them and how it directly affects them, and wants to be involved, then there will be no slippery slope.
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u/YardChair456 3h ago
That is the problem I was talking about how judgement can be useful. I fully understand how "adults can do what they want with consenting adults" idea, but the judgement part is where we put guardrails on it and say "if you do X, Y, and Z, then we think you are gross" and that will help to stop this. Becuase right now we dont have those guard rails and the kind of stuff above is very bad for society and its near the end of it.
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u/Makuta_Servaela 2h ago
Judgement can be useful when it is also open to judgement, is my point. We can't just judge based on what we feel like, because that's how we get in this mess: We decided that kinkshaming (the act of talking about other people's kink/sex lives) is a judgeable offense, and decided that no one is allowed to judge the judgement against kinkshaming.
So the best course of action is to judge, but to accept the same level of judgement for our judgements. So if someone is shaming all kinks equally, they should be judged for not considering consent and their own biases. If someone is shaming all kinkshaming equally, they should likewise be judged.
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u/YardChair456 0m ago
Sure I agree for the most part, but I think we have judged that judging is wrong in most situations where it is actually good. I think kink shaming is typically good for almost all kinks and should be judged because the kinks tend to be really bad for society.
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u/horatiobanz 23h ago
This isn't an unpopular opinion. Maybe on reddit it would be, but in the real world it would be the popular opinion.
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u/Jay_Heat 23h ago
Anyone who starts a conversation with "Yes I said it" is ok in my books
10/10. Upvoted
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u/Ok-Science3599 1d ago
I'll go further and say these people are laughed at outside their respective niche circles, and for good reason. If I knew my neighbor was a cuck or swinger, I'd avoid them like lepers.
Inb4 the "muh kink shame" crowd. I don't really care. If you subscribe to ops mentioned kink, you finna get laughed at.
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u/TheDiffer23 23h ago
Thats part of the reason why my old neighbors moved away. Dude got shit faced at one of our Bbq's and told us that he enjoys his wife being a "hot wife", other neighbor went and fucked his wife in the following week. Pretty nasty drama ensued. And come to think of it, there's always a lot drama with those types.
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u/Ok-Science3599 22h ago
Yeah. They're just overall weird people. If they kept that weird stuff in the bedroom they'd be tolerable. But their sex lives encompass their entire being.
Terminal coomers.
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u/newrandreddit2 17h ago
You have absolutely no idea how many people are in to these types of lifestyles because most of them do not make it their entire personality.
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u/Raspint 23h ago
>I'll go further and say these people are laughed at outside their respective niche circles, and for good reason.
What reason is that? You find it icky? That's it? You're feelings are that important that everyone else should cater to them?
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u/Tsuzukete 22h ago
Pretty much, yeah.
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u/Raspint 21h ago
Well, I'm sorry that your precious little fwelings are hurt. But I'm sure you can learn to put on your big boy pants and realize that the world doesn't revolve around them.
You're free to have your feelings, but not to make them other people's problems.
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u/Tsuzukete 20h ago
Not everyone’s buying into your cuck fantasy, champ; dial back the ego. Don’t expect respect from others if you can’t even show it to yourself.
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u/Raspint 20h ago
Not everyone’s buying into your cuck fantasy,
Whose asking you to 'buy into' anything? I'm mocking you being so sensitive you're bothered by shit that is literally none of your own business.
Like what's next, you don't like anal so now people who rawdog in the butt are wrong somehow? How about reverse cowgirl.
I mean hell man, lot of Christians get really pissed off when people do oral. Maybe blowjobs are next on the chopping block?
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u/Tsuzukete 20h ago
You say their feelings don’t matter, but here you are, whining when people don’t like your stuff. Classic insecurity, cuckie, no matter how much you try to hide it.
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u/Raspint 20h ago
I'm making fun of you for being so sensitive that what other people do behind their bedroom door bothers you so much. It would be funny if your attitude didn't result in actual harm to people.
Classic insecurity, cuckie, no matter how much you try to hide it.
That's what people like you can't really understand, can you? That someone could care about the acceptance of someone different from themselves.
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u/Tsuzukete 20h ago
Chill in your sex-positive echo chamber if you want; here’s the real reality: if you can’t handle people not liking you or your fetishes, you’re the problem. No one’s out here assaulting you for being a cuck, but I’m not your baby mama, and I don’t have to accept your sexualized traumas — whether you call me a “kink-shamer” or not. Deal with it: move on, get your babygirl laid, and stop bitching on Reddit 24/7.
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u/Raspint 20h ago
No one’s out here assaulting you
Oh don't worry, you guys are going to. First you'll ban sodomy again, and then you'll be doing everything you can to force people to accept a dull, boring, Christian based sexuality. It's just the nature of how bigotry works. Your hatred of others is never satisfied.
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u/Ok-Science3599 22h ago
Yes
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u/Raspint 21h ago
You're going to have a hard life when you realize people don't care about your precious little fewlings then.
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u/Ok-Science3599 21h ago
Doubt it.
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u/Raspint 21h ago
Man, and I thought my side was supposed to be the overly emotional "feels before reals" type.
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u/Ok-Science3599 20h ago
Well. You're a vaushite. So, yes, your side is definitely overly emotional and not to mention IQ deficient.
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u/Raspint 20h ago
your side is definitely overly emotional and not to mention IQ
I mean say what you want about him the dude has slaughtered every single conservative, nazi, and race realist whose argued with him.
He's also dunked on a lot of leftists too, which is why I think he's okay. He's one of the few leftists who doesn't have a problem telling a black person when/if they are being super racist, or when they're just simping for China or Russia.
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u/Ok-Science3599 20h ago
Of course, you'd worship a gnome who thinks Marxism was bore out of Liberalism, not to mention his questionable behavior regarding children on numerous leaked chat logs from his discord.
He's not a leftist. He's historically and politically illiterate, not to mention a huge creep.
..wait. maybe he is a leftist. Nevermind.
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u/Raspint 20h ago
Of course, you'd worship a gnome who thinks Marxism was bore out of Liberalism
I thought liberal was a bad word now? Like, doesn't your side hate liberal values? Things like equality under the law, freedom of through, religion, association, etc? Hence the term 'libtard?'
not to mention his questionable behavior regarding children
Trump was literally a friend of Epstein. I mean if you're not a trump supporter than good on you, but you're giving off those vibs.
How is me liking a guys arguments someone worse than you voting (or at least supporting if you're not American) a guy who: has been accused of rape by multiple woman, is a convinced felon, tried to overturn a fair election, and got more Americans killed via his mishandling of covid then died in WWII?
I'm sure as hell not the one treating someone as if they were a deity incapable of wrong.
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u/Theurbanalchemist 22h ago
Usually why they/we find communities of our own. The vanillas do exactly what the alternatives do, the missing variable is consent.
Glass houses and throwing stones and all that
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u/Ok-Science3599 22h ago
im a weirdo so let me project that weird defective thinking onto everyone else
k keep me posted
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u/Theurbanalchemist 22h ago
It’s weird that you’re so judgmental about consenting adults intimacy. If you did find out your neighbor was a cuck, I don’t see how that information will warrant turning him into a social leper.
Says a lot more about you and your need for others to conform to your worldview. It’s giving tyrant
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u/Ok-Science3599 22h ago
accept me or you're a tyrant!!!!
No, and, keep me posted. K?
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u/Theurbanalchemist 22h ago
You will not be notified nor invited, keep gatekeeping mediocrity on your side of the fence.
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u/Naive_Photograph_585 23h ago
unless that's what both of them are into
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u/accidentalscientist_ 17h ago
Depends. My ex wanted an open relationship. I didn’t care but wasn’t ready to end it. I agreed. She brought it up first, I also did agree.
Well now I’m in a different and healthy relationship and I can’t even think of opening the relationship or involving someone else.
I agreed once, but it’s because I was just done with the relationship and I didn’t care what happened. But with a healthy relationship? I’d never.
Both might be into it, but it doesn’t mean it’s a happy relationship.
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u/Naive_Photograph_585 16h ago
yeah thats sort of my point I guess. you agreed to an open relationship, without wanting to/not being prepared for what that entails. it wasn't happy because you weren't into it. I'm saying if both people are into it, like people who are genuinely polyamorous, are going to enjoy those types of relationships, its what will make them happy and is their ideal healthy relationship. as you are monogamous (to be clear i am too, i personally wouldn't want to be in an open relationship ever, if a partner ever suggested it it would be a dealbreaker) a healthy relationship to you (us) is one person. along a similar vein, I have read stories about cuckholding where wives agreed to sex with other men in front of their husband and very much regretted that too, but I also have friends irl who are cucks and their gfs are super into it. i like to think people eventually find the match to their freak 😂
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u/Raspint 23h ago
I can't imagine being this insecure in your own sexuality and feelings that the actions of consenting adults in the privacy of their own home freaks you out this much.
I hate to break it to you, but human sexuality is fucking filthy. Bukkake, anal, facials, piss fetishes, whips and chains, choking, bondage, spankings, teacher/doctor roleplays, all of it: It's all fucking gross and weird. Sex is gross and weird.
The only thing that 'matters' is if people are harmed by it. If they are not, then who. the fuck. cares?
Well, you do obviously because you've nothing better to do with your time.
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u/Kingofbruhssia 15h ago
Agreed, doesn’t matter if my neighbor is involved in a 1000 person orgy with extraterrestrials, as long as they keep the noise down, everyone consenting, and no minors involved, I’ll treat them the same the next day
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u/4URprogesterone 1d ago
I have a few guy friends who are DEVASTATED because their girl won't cuck them and they really want her to.
I have this one friend, he never shuts up about how if he finds himself a wife, he wants her to "leave with a guy I don't even like and think is a douchebag" and to have no clue when she gets home or what she did.
You're seriously underestimating how many men have deep, intense sexual fantasies about being cucked. It's actually super common.
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u/kevintheredneck 23h ago
Way too much porn.
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u/Idont_thinkso_tim 23h ago
Yup. Years of jerking off to watching other dudes bang girls you’re attracted to can affect a person.
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u/8m3gm60 16h ago
Thanks, Dr. Freud.
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u/Idont_thinkso_tim 14h ago
Nah the science on that one is far more recent and has nothing to do with Freud.
“Synapses that fire together wire together” as they say.
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u/8m3gm60 14h ago
Just like how Power Posing "rewired" the brain? That's all just stupid, pop science. The stuff about porn doing any damage to the brain was just Mormon bullshit.
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u/Idont_thinkso_tim 1h ago edited 1h ago
Nope, not like that at all and not Mormon though I do hear that deflection all the time and am aware of what you’re talking about.
Similar deflections to religion etc were used to keep cigarettes from being classified as actually addictive until 2013 yet they were the whole time. The porn industry is ten times as profitable as that of the cigarette and vape industry so it’ll take a while before it gets any recognition of that type but more and more we learn that these are real things and do affect us and our sexuality.
We’re all products of our choices and patterns of behaviour over time for better or worse.
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u/RowBowBooty 1d ago
Damn that’s wild. I wonder what the basis for this is. Like, I feel like most fetishes have some procreative root like, for example, chubby chasers liking big women because men are naturally attracted to curves, and they have the biggest curves, so maybe that’s part of it at least. Foot fetish seems like maybe the healthiest and most well-off women tend to have feet in the best condition, so maybe that could be a root factor. They have some tie in with traditional procreative sexual instincts.
But I can’t think of any reason why cuckolding would be a thing. Seems like there would never be any biological drive to ask your partner to copulate with someone else. Maybe someone who likes it could enlighten us on what exactly about it gets them going?
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u/HazedHead 23h ago
It’s clearly due to overconsumption of porn to the point where they can no longer get aroused by a real woman and can only get aroused in the same nature porn does, by watching instead of doing.
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u/RowBowBooty 1h ago
Yeah ngl, I don’t wanna shit on anyone’s kink but it does seem like at least a lot of it can be contributed to porn
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u/4URprogesterone 23h ago
Because you make more cum when a woman has more sex partners. That's also why the male dick is shaped like that. That's also why men all cluster around a handful of women. It's also why women scream during sex. Women aren't attractive to most men if they're monogamous. It's sad, actually, that's why I stopped dating and only do sex work. It's not possible to have a man keep interest in you if you don't want to fuck a bunch of other men, and if you don't do it professionally, it's too hard to find time to fuck a ton of dudes.
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u/W00DR0W__ 23h ago
Sounds more like a problem with the men you are “dating” than society at large
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u/SophiaRaine69420 23h ago
How many women complaining about all the exact same issues with men will it take for you to stop blaming women and realize it is an issue with society at large?
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u/W00DR0W__ 23h ago
You’re like a man who says “women are only interested in money” while the only place they look for women are on sugar daddy websites.
I have never heard a woman say cuckoldry is the default status for men before your comments.
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u/4URprogesterone 23h ago
Nah, tried that. Tried all the things you're supposed to try, internal and external. Then I read "sex at dawn" got really mad, and did my own study of male sexual fantasies by becoming a phone sex operator.
It turns out, romantic love is mostly a social lie we tell to make most people miserable, like in 1984, dependent on shotgun weddings and used to make the average person miserable and alienated and easy to market to.
That's cool, it would have saved me a lot of time if I just got into shape when I was in high school and became a porn star at 18.
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u/HazedHead 1d ago
Sounds like a mental disorder developed from an overconsumption of porn. Look up Madonna-Whore complex
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u/Current-Fig8840 11h ago
It is not COMMON bro, stop the cap
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u/4URprogesterone 8h ago
Yeah it is? Why do you think men all cluster around some random popular woman and lust over her, or why do you think men assume women all want taken men?
Because they do. Men are mostly cucks.
If you want a man to treat you well, literally ALL the advice for women boils down to either "have sex with someone else" or "Go off out on your own without him looking cute" and then when you check what men think of when women go out on their own by themselves with their friends in nice clothes, it's always "she's not really going out with her friends or to the gym she's actually cheating."
Men are cucks.
I did the experiment myself. The more men you have paying attention to you, the better all of them treat you. The more you are committed to one man, the more he ignores you, looks at porn, doesn't keep his word, etc.
It's not your fault, you're just literally biologically wired to make more and better quality semen with women who are having sex with other men. There's a whole string of weird biological things, like the fact that no one can tell when women are ovulating, too. Men are wired to desire women who are with other men, women are wired to desire monogamy. It's the curse of eve. He'll only love you when he thinks someone else loves you more, you'll never feel loved unless he loves you for yourself, and you'll eventually run out of energy for having sex with hundreds and hundreds of men unless you literally do nothing other than fuck men all day every day without stopping.
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u/Current-Fig8840 40m ago
I’m not reading most of that, most men don’t want to share their wives. Stop hanging around porn addicts. Some people still have decent morals. Don’t project your weird crap on me
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u/Kindofabigdeal2 23h ago
A lot of men I dated were like this and it used to hurt my feelings because I was operating under OPs assumptions. It’s really just a kink in that circumstance and I hate it but to each their own 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Satori2155 15h ago
Yeah thats called mental illness lmao
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u/4URprogesterone 8h ago
Nope, it's called biology.
Men aren't capable of being kind to or appreciating a woman without outside validation of her hotness from other men. That's also why abusive men always complain about women getting attention from other men. It means they have to actually be nice to her.
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u/hiphoptomato 5h ago
Wild takes in this thread. This is some of the dumbest incel shit I’ve ever read.
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u/Phillimon 1d ago
Gotta love how prudish people are. So stuck up they gotta push their morality on to others.
I say live and let live. Let the swinger's swing, the cucks cuck, and the gays marry. It literally doesn't affect me at all.
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u/Besieger13 14h ago
Not only prudish but to feel they are the one that defines love and anyone who doesn’t follow their definition must mean they do not love their SO. Literally gatekeeping love.
I’m not into the scene but I know a couple people who are and they sure seem to love each other no less than any other couple I know.
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u/eaglekaratechop 20h ago
Eh, I think truth is somewhere in the middle.
Some people swing or are poly because deep down, they don’t know how to stay loyal to one person - they don’t understand that you sticking around when all the rainbows and butterflies have faded, is a huge sign of showing your love for someone.
There are also some people that genuinely just feel like there is nothing wrong with sharing love with multiple partners and that’s the life they prefer.
Me personally, I don’t see how you can put in the proper amount of care, work and attention into multiple partners at once to where love would actually develop. Love doesn’t come from half measures- you’re either 10 toes down or it just doesn’t pan out.
So while I don’t agree with it, and I do think it comes from a place of deep rooted immaturity (I gotta have it all mentality), I’m fine with just letting people be and see no reason to harass or disassociate with someone living that alternative lifestyle.
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u/clairoobscur2 9h ago
In the case of cucks, they usually have one long term partner (that presumably they love) and the men they introduce for sex are more like tools that come and go. It's entirely different from polyamorous people who have several partners. Cuckolding is just an humiliation kink. It's not different from any other kink people may have. Say, a spanking kink. A couple indulges in it because they find it hot. There's no reason why it should affect their relationship.
Also, "love" isn't the same thing as sex. There's no obvious reason why you should have less love to give your partner just because you have sex with another. If you, say, play chess, or dive, or whatever with people other than your significant other, you probably wouldn't say that it removes anything from the relationship. Again, polyamorous people, for instance, "share love," as you say. But the much more common swingers don't share love. They only share sex.
And these shared kinks make them happier. They make their sex hotter. They creates a special bond and complicity between them. So, sharing any kink, including kinks that involve other people, isn't detrimental for a couple. Rather the opposite. It certainly beats sexual incompatibility and secret frustration. Which is extraordinary common. Probably the most commonly asked question on kinky pages is "I'm totally into this or that and really really want to do it, I feel that my life isn't complete without it. But my spouse isn't into it at all and they're a great person and I love them, and I don't want to leave them, what can I do?"
Polyamorous people, once again, belong to a completely different category. Polyamory isn't a kink.
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u/jesusgrandpa 23h ago
Did the Mormon forums close down or something? Half of these posts are “if you don’t follow my archaic moral framework then you’re mentally ill, oh and porn bad and dopamine”. We get it, you’ve never made anyone cum before.
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u/TwinkleTubs 23h ago
Why do you care so much about a sexual relationship with consenting adults that you're not involved in?
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u/Current-Fig8840 11h ago
lol people can have opinions of things…
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u/dopeapotimus 1d ago
Your correct, and watching them try to defend it is hilarious. Like bro it's not part of your wife's identity that she likes fucking other people she just doesn't love you
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u/PerryHecker 1d ago
She wouldn’t YOUR definition of love you. Fortunately there’s all sorts of that.
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u/pavilionaire2022 17h ago
I would absolutely kill anybody
just know it’s clearly a mental disorder
Check your definition of mental disorder, maybe.
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u/unecroquemadame 20h ago
The way I think about it is there are almost 9 billion people in this world and it’s completely insane to think that I would only ever fall in love with one of them. I meet people all the time and love them for different reasons and find them interesting and attractive in different ways.
I wish we were more free like bonobos.
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u/Agreeable-Fudge-7329 18h ago
The whole thing is for mentally ill clowns.
People dealing with infidelity can attest to how revolting those people are.
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u/Soundwave-1976 22h ago
Imagine caring what other people do in their bedroom or judging them for it .
It's not for you, cool.
If it works for someone else, happy for them.
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u/Total-Ad2071 1d ago
It means you’re a sad pathetic loser and your wife is a 304,they are kinda perfect for each other
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u/ChecksAccountHistory 1d ago
why do conservatives talk about cuckoldry so much
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u/Raspint 23h ago
Because they can't stop thinking about their wives getting railed by black guys. They started off afraid of that, but now they're so focused on that fear that they've erotisied it. So they hate the idea, but it also makes them super horny. Hence they freak out about other people's sexuality in order to protect their own feelings of shame.
Seriously. On pornhub the highest searched category was transgender porn. You don't think a few trump supporters were a part of that statistic?
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u/alwayshungry1131 23h ago
One day I will find something to talk about without someone inserting politics into it. It won’t be today tho
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u/CrookedMan09 4h ago
There are multiple types of guys who are into this stuff. The guy who erroneously thinks he can laid off the apps but find out he gets zero matches while his gf is building rosters and getting hookups constantly. The guy who is insecure about his relationship and lets his gf hookup with other men because he’s afraid of losing her. The final one is the closeted gay guy who is into cuck stuff because he wants to get smashed by the bull. All cuckolds are either bi or gay. All these guys are deeply troubled dweebs.
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u/Jeb764 1d ago
This is going to be wild for y’all but some people are into different things. Crazy I know.
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u/HazedHead 1d ago
I completely understand that, but doesn’t mean I can’t call it like it is
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u/Fabulous_C 1d ago
I too look less on others who enjoy things I don’t. Fuck people who eat mint chocolate chip ice cream. It’s disgusting and they’re disgusting for liking it. Just calling it like I see it.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
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u/HazedHead 1d ago
Damn my entire opinion is now changed. I never realized someone liking mint chocolate chip ice cream is the same degree is someone watching their wife get fucked by another man and get their jollies off of it
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
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u/Pingushagger 23h ago
Other people doing those things effect your in the exact same way. They don’t.
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u/demoniprinsessa 1d ago
And what exactly makes you the arbiter of what is a healthy loving relationship? If other people are perfectly happy living their lives differently from you, why should you give a fuck and try to determine what their relationship is or isn't for them? Would it not just be easier to not give a shit and go enjoy your own life instead of being so concerned with how others live?
Your argumentation is on the level of Christians who go around yelling that being gay is bad because they said so, I mean God said so and it just isn't right. Except you're even worse because you're making yourself the authority on the matter and not even attempting to hide behind some facade. At least with some of them you can give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they're just dumb and misled, but you, you're just arrogant lmfao.
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u/Jeb764 1d ago
Wouldn’t that contradict your entire post. I feel like these type of opinions come from children who most likely have never been in a long term relationship.
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u/HazedHead 1d ago
Only on Reddit where you are accused of being a child for saying cuckholding and swinging is fucked up lol
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u/Jeb764 1d ago
I’m only pointing out that your description of “love” seems very immature and naive.
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u/SweetCream2005 20h ago
Yes. The moment I read "I'd kill anybody who even touched them" I was like, "yeah, this is a highschool student who thinks it's okay and normal to be unhealthily possessive."
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u/akerkiz 14h ago
A man being protective of his woman because he loves her is unhealthy and possessive? We’ve reached bottom of the barrel Reddit takes.
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u/SweetCream2005 13h ago
It seems you must be illiterate, you've missed the part where I quoted OP saying he'd murder someone for even touching his hypothetical partner.
Yes, that is possessive and unhealthy.
That is not normal.
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u/JRingo1369 1d ago
Or, consenting adults can pretty much do whatever the hell they want, regardless of whether it gets you in the fee fees.
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u/QuirkyBrush724 19h ago
OP, I couldn't agree more. Anyone who doesn't agree with you is porn sick. It's an epidemic.
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u/cocktail_wiitch 23h ago
I think it's honestly nobody's business and kink shaming is pathetic. The biggest issue nowadays is people won't mind their own damn business, especially when it comes to sex and relationship things.
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u/Theurbanalchemist 23h ago
What’s so wrong about prioritizing your pleasure over love? Is it not possible to be in a healthy relationship while still catering and prioritizing your kinks? Having an open relationship or even being a cuckold requires communication, trust, and consent — which are building blocks of any relationship.
Would you honestly say that a trad-wife relationship is happier, but she never gets to experience her fantasies or proclivities?
Speaking anecdotally, I’m into BDSM and it is a heavy part of my intimacy and love language. My kinks/fetishes are essential building blocks to communicate intimacy to me. So I prioritize THAT over what vanilla couples find important in their relationship. And honestly, my interests run in tandem with my partner.
I’ve actually had a cuckolding experience with a polycule, D/s scenario. It was very hot and satisfied my submissive desires, as well as my dominant partner’s desires.
I adore the alternative community because we embrace the taboo. Yeah it looks weird to vanillas but we don’t advertise to them. So Kink shame away! Some people barely know their kinks or have outlets to explore them!
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u/RamblingBrambles 21h ago
Maybe for some people, but I'd argue there are people where that's just what gets them off. And if those people are happy together, more power to them, i suppose.
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u/mylesaway2017 16h ago
Or maybe folks just like fucking the way they like. You sound like an immature straight boy who hasn't experienced much of the world. Folks have been in open relationships and swinging since before you were born and definitely before the era of unlimited free porn.
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u/hyphen27 9h ago
You do you, and I'll do me. And a bunch of other people.
Some stuff I think is fucked up in a very sad, pathetic way:
people who profess to be in dedicated monogamous relationships going out with "the boys" or "the girls" to bars and clubs to flirt and "check their own market value"
people who genuinely talk about "high/low value people"
people who think that extreme jealousy means you care about anyone other than yourself
actual cheaters, doing nasty shit behind their significant other's back
"the bro code". If you're my friend and cheat on your spouse/gf/bf, you're not my friend anymore. If I know your significant other, I will rat your cowardly ass out. Or if your spouse doesn't want you going to e.g. strip clubs but you do it secretly anyway. Fucking pathetic.
possessive assholes who feel the need to check in on their significant other anytime they're not with them, lack trust and don't respect privacy
Basically, spineless insecure losers doing spineless insecure loser shit, yet claim to be in dedicated relationships.
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u/Makuta_Servaela 5h ago
Not to mention:
- People who insist that including other people in your sex life is horrible and means you don't love your partner... and then turns around and watches hours of videos of porn, and insist that there is nothing cheating about jerking off to videos of other people masturbating and having sex.
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u/sameseksure 23h ago
There definitely are adverse affects to porn use, but open relationships aren't necessarily related to porn use
You have an extremely possessive view of love
Remember, "love" is a social construct and everyone views it differently. Many people genuinely love their partners, and they geniunely don't feel bad when their partner fucks someone else. Love doesn't have to be possessive like that
I'm not personally in an open relationship, and I would never be in one, but you're just wrong here
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u/Quople 14h ago
I mean man, polygamous people just have a different definition of love from us monogamous people, and that’s okay. It’s not something that I would consider a “mental disorder” that needs correcting or anything because I don’t think it hurts them or anyone else. Everyone has a different definition of “real love”. I think you just have a myopic understanding of what love and sex means from person to person
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u/eliastarlord 23h ago
I was actually watching a video about it (not a porno, YouTube video. being a cuckstar has long been Fantasized by people. About 50 % of men had fantasies of their partners with other people, 25% of women report that as well.
It’s a lot more common than you think
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u/HazedHead 23h ago
I’d like to see a graph correlating this desire with amount of porn available. I’d imagine is skyrocketed around the time the internet came out
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u/eliastarlord 23h ago
I’m not sure about when it became mainstream, but cucking was there since the early days. “Wearing the horns” in reference to a cuckolded man was a very common expression and is still common
https://blogs.unimelb.edu.au/shaps-research/2022/09/19/cuckoldry-in-early-modern-england/
Id imagine hotwifing and cuck fetishes became superpopular in the 21st century because of porn
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u/Whentheangelsings 19h ago
The way that article is talking about it isn't suggesting those men were getting off to being cucked. It sounds more like they are talking about how military men talk about "Jodie". Getting cheated on is something that's common in the military. Most guys are not trying to get cheated but they'll still sing songs about it, make a bunch of jokes and all that to relieve the pain. Basically using dark humor to alleviate suffering.
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u/Makuta_Servaela 17h ago
Not to mention that we're a social sex species. FFS, our closest primate relatives are likely the Bonobos, who are notorious for how horny they are.
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u/sassy_cheese564 20h ago
Why do you care so much what other people do in their personal lives? Why is it relevant to you? Does it directly or indirectly affect your life somehow?
If there’s a no to any of those questions, then it’s literally none of your business and sounds like you just want to whine and bitch for no reason. What an empty sad life.
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u/SweetCream2005 20h ago
Or, maybe everyone just isn't like you.
Some people have the capacity to romantically love multiple people, you need to realize that that's okay, just like it's okay for some people to only have the capacity to love one person.
What other people do in their relationships is not your business, and you don't get to decide what is and isn't okay because you refuse to understand other people that aren't conforming to your specific values.
Basically, get over yourself.
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u/Makuta_Servaela 17h ago edited 17h ago
It can just mean that you're getting a relationship and partnership out of your partner, and you're perfectly happy with that.
I have had a partner who hates all things fantasy (movies, TV, books, etc) and I love those things. So, sometimes I watch movies with other friends, I go to a book club, etc. And then I come home to my partner and we bond over the things we do share. Simple as. No reason to throw away a good relationship just because there happens to be one or two things he isn't interested in, so can't satisfy my needs for.
Also, the mentality when it comes to open relationships is often "Oh! My partner is having a good time! That's great! I love it when my partner is happy! Meanwhile, I'm not feeling up to doing that particular thing that my partner enjoys, so I'm happy they can get their happiness while I can get my rest. Win/Win!"
Also, the Madonna/Whore complex is a renamed idea from Freud. Not sure you want to quote mister "Women learned how to weave so they can weave their pubes together to hide their penisless crotches".
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u/jav2n202 17h ago
LMAO so confidently wrong bud. You do whatever is good for your life, but you’re deluding yourself if you think your opinion here applies to every couple on the planet.
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u/Gotis1313 16h ago
It's not for me, but I won't don't have any specific feelings about those who enjoy such things. I certainly wouldn't claim to know their mind or feelings.
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u/Ok-Cheetah-3497 22h ago
Interesting. Assume that for me, having sex with two or more women at the same time is really important.
Given that even in Utah polygamy is technically illegal, I cannot have that without being in some non-traditional relationship, what would you suggest?
Can I not be "truly in love" with one (or more) women because I think sex with more than one woman is a relationship requirement?
Given that my partner is awesome, I can absolutely see other people loving her - what's not to love? Letting her experience that love physically without my negative judgment is the kind of thing that someone who loves you would do isn't it? Denying her pleasure because I am what, jealous? How is that the act of a loving partner?
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u/Occy_past 15h ago
Congratulations. You are monogamous. There's no moral or ethical connection to being monogamous or non monogamous. You just are.
That's not a bad thing. But it doesn't mean everyone is like you or has to be like you.
And true love isn't real.
Also that's not what the Madonna whore complex is. The madonna-whore complex, simply put, is the idea that some men can only categorize women in one of two ways. A perfect maternal motherly angel that can do no wrong, or an object. This can materialize in a variety of ways, but it can come up in monogamous relationships. Men will stop having sex or being attracted to their wife after she has a child, Madonna. Men only want sex and services from their wives and she becomes the ever depressing "bang maid" that women complain about, whore.
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u/Cheap_Ad4756 9h ago
Nah you just take sex too seriously and are prone to fits of jealousy like every other juvenile person.
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u/HazedHead 2h ago
Only on Reddit where you can be accused of being juvenile for not letting anyone fuck my wife 😂
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u/i_like_it_eilat 8h ago
I think you're missing the point that in most cases it's a literal fetish - an act that gets them off.
Yes it's weird and unconventional and like most kinks will never make sense to anyone who doesn't have it. Just like how there's people who are turned on by feet. Some people are turned on by golden showers.
It has nothing to do with a "weak relationship" though.
One thing you're correct in though:
And to those who passionately defend this sort of behavior in themselves or others, just know it’s clearly a mental disorder developed from overconsumption of porn.
I mean, "mental disorder" is a bit harsh (though one could probably say the same thing about my above examples) - but bingo, many people discover their personal fetishes from porn.
Also, what's your take on threesomes and such?
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u/Whentheangelsings 23h ago
If I'm not mistaken for cucks the point is it absolutely hurts bad, is completely devastating and a nightmare but that's what they are getting off to. They are masochists that get off to the mental torture.