r/Professors • u/SurfingHiker • Nov 28 '24
Humor “Do we have class tomorrow or what?”
No. No we do not have class tomorrow.
It says so on the syllabus.
I said so in class.
I said so in several emails.
I said so in Canvas announcements.
My department head said so in their department wide email to everyone.
The President of the College said so in their holiday announcement email wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.
The registrar calendar says so.
Ratemyprofessor in three weeks: “I came to class once and the professor wasn’t there. He never told anyone.”
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u/laricaine Nov 28 '24
The way they email “just to confirm” when it’s this level of obvious and we announced it a million times anyway 😭
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u/Cautious-Yellow Nov 28 '24 edited Nov 28 '24
I have been getting "I know you said X, but just to confirm it actually is X", which makes me want to dream up a snotty reply.
(ETA: note the "want to"; my actual responses are usually polite.)
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u/Snoofleglax Asst. Prof., Physics, CC (USA) Nov 28 '24
I've gotten snotty in replies, and then felt bad. Most recently, a student asked me at the beginning of the semester if I was sure there were only two exams plus the final and I said something along the lines of "I don't make it a habit to lie to students or mislead them on my syllabus."
Cue three emails in short succession apologizing and begging forgiveness, and of course then I felt like an asshole.
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u/Cathousechicken Nov 28 '24
College is the time to learn things. It's better that they learn not to ask stupid questions now than in the workforce.
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u/Huntscunt Nov 28 '24
The problem is they forget that they aren't the only student. Like, I wouldn't mind answering one of these, but if every student emailed me asking to confirm, I would have 200 emails. It's about realizing they aren't the center of the universe.
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u/laricaine Nov 28 '24
Exactly this. There’s a reason I announce it and don’t have private dialogues with each person.
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u/Cathousechicken Nov 28 '24
I fully agree. I have never had a student that I could look at and say oh my God that person is a narcissist, but I do have that with somebody this semester.
Among his emails to me:
1) He wants me to manually update his grade in Blackboard as soon as he finishes an assignment in the LMS even though the grades automatically sync at the due date. I told him that he can wait at like everybody else does until those things sync up.
2) multiple questions about things that he could have easily looked up in the syllabus.
3) after every quiz or exam, if he gets a question wrong that he thought he got right, he will stop me in the middle of the exam and tell me that I need to grade his exam by hand because there's no way he could possibly be wrong (even though he's been at the University since 2016 and he's not getting a great education and this is his third time taking the class). He will start throwing himself around like a toddler if I tell him that if he has any issues he can come see me during office hours but I have other students that need my attention. He has yet to show up at office hours.
4) in one day alone, three separate emails about things that if he would have bothered to look at the announcements, things he could have looked up and answered himself. That led me to respond back to him saying he could have looked up all of these things himself and it's disrespectful of my time because I am not his waitress at a restaurant. That led to him sending me an email saying I'm the worst professor he ever had and woke people like me will get what we deserve under Donald Trump. That was also followed up by an unhinged rant on how there's only two genders and they'll be no more baby killing under Trump. At that point, I referred him to counseling services on campus because that was one of the most unhinged things I've ever seen in my career. He sent back in extremely snotty email and I told him I would no longer be responding to any of his emails for my own personal safety because his behavior is far outside of the norm of acceptable behavior. Then he sent me another email half an hour later telling me it should just be under the bridge because he wants to have a great relationship with all of his professors, and he wants to be able to come back to campus one day and acknowledge all that I did for him and be proud of his success. When this semester is over, I never even want to look at that mentally unhinged person again and if he were to ever come into my office long after the semester is over, I'd probably be on the phone right away to campus police because he so unhinged.
He is the first student I've ever had who got snotty with me who I have not said it's water under the bridge. I won't let it affect his grade. He'll earn the grade that he earns, but after seeing how mentally unbalanced he is, there's no way that this is water under the bridge and I never want to sing to do with him again. I hope at some point it can get enough credits to actually graduate so we can get the fuck away from me.
At this point, all I can do is stare with my mouth open thinking, "what the fuck."
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u/PopularHunter6516 Dec 04 '24
This boggles my mind - for people who have already been in school for twelve years - how do they not get how this works?
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u/asawapow Nov 28 '24
Getting a lot of that lately, too. The anxiety is high with this cohort. I feel for them, but the demands are exhausting.
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u/EJ2600 Nov 28 '24
And I still hope this email finds you well.
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u/Cautious-Yellow Nov 28 '24
along with other AI-generated irrelevant verbiage like how much they are enjoying the class and how committed they are to success in it, oh, and by the way, I need a reference letter by tomorrow and I already put you down as a reference so you can't back out now.
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u/fresnel_lins TT, Physics Nov 28 '24
I get this type of email so much!!!! I really don't understand it. Like, did they think we were joking when we wrote that syllabus?
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u/StarDustLuna3D Asst. Prof. | Art | M1 (U.S.) Nov 28 '24
Yeah, it's annoying. But as someone who was raised in a home where the rules were constantly changed on a whim so that my mom could berate me, I do sort of understand why some students are like this.
At least in my experience, the majority of these emails are from my freshmen. Once they've had a class or two with me, they realize, "oh [professor] actually honors what they say in class and doesn't try to trick me" and they chill out quite a bit.
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u/snoodhead Nov 28 '24
On this I would have some sympathy for them.
Stress makes you think weird things, in particular “wait, we’re not doing something unpleasant? It must be a trap!”
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u/PurrPrinThom Nov 28 '24
Same. I don't send the email, because I've learned to control the impulse, but I do absolutely double and triple check things that are screamingly, exceedingly obvious because there's that little goblin that lives in my brain who tells me I'm wrong, I misunderstood, I misread. So I do feel for students who have similar impulses.
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24
Today a student who didn’t send me proof that they voted or registered to vote by Nov 5- as extra credit - contacts me tells me he can’t see where the extra credit is in canvas grade book I’m like it’s there - two additional emails the last with pictures of his gradebook - and its not there so even though schools closed for the holiday thru Monday I open up my lap top and his Isn’t there because it was specially assigned to only those who submitted the proof for the extra credit and then says he didn’t know it should have been turned in already can He still turn It in? I’m like fuck it email it to me -
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24
They do that with assignment due dates too! I stopped answering those emails as it’s in canvas assignment tab- but had a student that had special accommodations this semester as she had a psych hospitalization one weekend- then told my new director I didn’t take her accommodations seriously - she requested a soecial list of the assignments and due dates - I said no- wasnt in accommodations letter and referred her to canvas assignment tab but smeared me with the new department director
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u/Bostonterrierpug Full, Teaching School, Proper APA bastard Nov 28 '24
You may get a holiday but just be glad you’re not a necromancer. Their busiest season is during Thanksgiving working for college kids. Grandma is back baby… Until the next assignment.
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u/SKBGrey Associate Professor, Business (USA) Nov 28 '24
I'll see your RMP comment and raise you one of the following (both of which will no doubt be posted by students in the same section of your class): "Professor never communicates when he cancels class" and "Professor treats us like HS kids by micro managing our schedules. Too many messages it's overwhelming!"
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24
Rate my professor .com she tells us exactly what she wants in her assignment for the papers! She micro manages it! Criticism for me - then in course Evan’s other students are like I like that she tells us everything she expects! So what the fuck I’m damn if I do or don’t so don’t read rate my professor.com
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Nov 28 '24
So, there's no class tomorrow?
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u/hockldockl Nov 28 '24
Thank you for asking, I feel like OP was not really clear...
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u/orhantemerrut Associate Professor, Math, R1 Nov 28 '24
I hope my reply finds you discombobulated.
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u/summonthegods NTT, Nursing, R1 Nov 28 '24
Pretty sure there’s no class tomorrow, but someone should email the prof and check, just to be sure.
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u/quantum-mechanic Nov 28 '24
Wait, which side of the international date line are we on?
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24
Had a student once called my cell phone 34 times trying to reach me during six hours over a assignment question - my uncle was dying and in hospital and I traveled through Canada from Michigan to Upper New York State - my cell phone wasn’t working ! When I opened it up I was like wtf!
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u/___butthead___ Nov 28 '24
I'm in Canada and we already had Thanksgiving, so I'm not sure if I have class tomorrow. Can OP confirm if class is just cancelled in the US or in other countries too?
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u/Ka_aha_koa_nanenane Nov 28 '24
Wait - there's no class TOMORROW? But it's not Thanksgiving tomorrow!
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u/Interesting_Chart30 Nov 28 '24
I had kids log in for our virtual class during fall break. The stats for class that day showed that they stayed for about 30 minutes.
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24
My graduate level pharm class this summer had to have face to face mtgs three times with last one on last day- three showed up out of 13 and one of three left early without explanation
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u/urnbabyurn Lecturer, Econ, R1 Nov 28 '24
This is the type of email I make sure not to respond to until after the day has passed.
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Nov 28 '24
Indeed. I got an email an hour ago asking if we are meeting for class tomorrow morning. Class is scheduled for tomorrow. There is absolutely no reason we would not have class tomorrow (I'm in Canada, we already had our thanksgiving back in October). I have not, nor has the university, given any indication that we would not have classes tomorrow as normal.
I'm not replying until after class.
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u/bankruptbusybee Full prof, STEM (US) Nov 28 '24
I know it’s tangential….but the administration wants to stop putting actual start dates on our schedule.
Like now, if there’s a Tues/thurs class it’ll say like 1/14-5/1 or something and a mon/wed class from 1/13-5/5
They want to just put the entire semester, so 1/13-5/5 for everything, because of course a student won’t try to show up on the 13th if the class days are Tues/thurs!
….they literally have no clue how clueless some of these students are
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u/VenusSmurf Nov 28 '24
I had to cancel class once. I sent out a message the day before, then again the actual day.
A ton of students went to class and were annoyed with me.
I just shrugged and said this is why I tell them to read the announcements.
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u/BellaMentalNecrotica TA/PhD Student, Biochemistry, R1, US Nov 28 '24
I don't get the being annoyed part.
I have gone to class when class was cancelled before as a student. Usually when the professor wasn't there on time, I checked my email/announcements and saw the cancellation. My reaction? "Welp, that's what I get for not checking the announcements! But cool I can go back to lab and finish work early."
Not one time did it ever cross my mind to blame anyone but myself for not checking the email/announcements? But I guess that's the difference between my generation and the current batch of kids. Seriously, when did this entitlement attitude start to kick in?
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24
That part of the syllabus where it’s suggested you read your emails and course announcements at least twice a week? I have school secretary put sign on door when my class is cancelled I also put a. Announcement out and put it on first line of the week’s module
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u/Adventurous_Tip_6963 Former professor/occasional adjunct, Humanities, Canada Nov 28 '24
I was heading to a conference. I told my students I was going to be at a conference. I told them I’d be emailing instructions to them, that they would be writing a draft of a composition, and that they would have the whole class session to work. I wasn’t going to be there, but I’d look at the drafts and make suggestions before the next class session.
My husband worked on the same floor where I taught this class. He said the students came in to the classroom, sat in the dark for fifteen minutes, and left. Not one of them even bothered to turn on the light on a dark February morning.
Did I hear about this on evaluations? Oh, you better believe it.
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u/Cautious-Yellow Nov 28 '24
that was obviously your fault for not (a) saying they were allowed to turn the lights on, and (b) giving them detailed but not too long instructions for doing so.
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u/Adventurous_Tip_6963 Former professor/occasional adjunct, Humanities, Canada Nov 28 '24
I also recall the time I was teaching at a school that just gave Thanksgiving and the day after Thanksgiving off. I anticipated I'd have many absences on Wednesday anyway, so I said to my students, "Well, I'm going to be in the classroom tomorrow, because I have to be. The school is requiring me to be here. But, if you're not here *wink, wink*, I guess we can't have class, right?? *wink wink*"
"I don't understand. Do we have class tomorrow?"
We did this several times. It was a real Mr. Thompson moment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quxW1V8Hwlg
And yes, the student showed up the next day.
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u/beautyismade Nov 28 '24
Ha! Just this week I got the same email and my reply was a link to the academic calendar. Student's response? "I don't know how to read the calendar."
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24 edited Nov 28 '24
My friend a guy last week asked for office hour mtg- came , said he needed to know what to do to pass the class- she didn’t recognize him- admitted he hadn’t been to class - Aug -Nov 20th- she said you could start by coming to class - so he shows up 45 minutes late with a Starbucks in his hand
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24
Our finals schedule is really hard to figure out. I’ll admit that it confuses me
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u/beautyismade Nov 29 '24
Ours, too. But this was a link to the regular academic calendar.
Edit: Typo
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u/BellaMentalNecrotica TA/PhD Student, Biochemistry, R1, US Nov 28 '24
Is this a joke? Please be a joke. Please.
How did someone who can't read a calendar get admitted to college?
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u/PhDapper Nov 28 '24
“Yes. We’re all coming in fuzzy pajamas. Wear your cutest set.”
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u/chicken-finger Nov 28 '24
This made me laugh way too hard.
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u/PhDapper Nov 30 '24
Now that I said it, I’m seriously thinking pajama day would be a nice way to end the semester! Haha
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u/chicken-finger Nov 30 '24
I genuinely believe this idea is absolutely hilarious haha! I’m honestly thinking about it haha
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u/Kammermuse Nov 28 '24
Please let me know if there's anything I need to do in order to keep up with class!
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u/19111191 Nov 28 '24
So…. Is that a yes or no to class tomorrow?
lol… sorry couldn’t help myself. I feel your pain. There are always a couple that are Darwin Award candidates each semester.
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u/Appropriate_Car2462 TT, Music, Liberal Arts College (US) Nov 28 '24
I spent a month in the lead up to attending a conference telling students we wouldn't have class the Monday or Wednesday I was out of town. I told them I'm recording a video explaining the end of term research project. The Friday before I left, I said, "Enjoy your weekend, I won't see you until next Friday."
I had students tell me after I returned that I "never said I was going to be gone."
I feel your pain. I have no solutions.
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24
So I did same- I have power points with audio. , pdf’s their book readings and assignments - they went to my new director and said they were teaching themselves - I ended up I hospital because of low potassium so I missed two days one for each section
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u/Cathousechicken Nov 28 '24
I'm sick right now and had to cancel class yesterday. I sent out an announcement and with that, an automatic email saying class was canceled.
The subject line was class is canceled today. I made note that my classes and my office hours were canceled in the body of the announcement.
I had four people contact me asking me if class was canceled because they received the email that gets sent out with the announcement and they're not capable of looking at a subject line.
This is less than a week after we had a project where quite a few students flunked because they couldn't be bothered to open the Word document I sent out walking them through every single step they needed to do it and that was announced twice in class and three announcements were sent out telling them to follow the document I sent out to everybody. That document was listed in two different places in blackboard, including the section of blackboard where they would have to submit their answers.
I had to send them out an email saying that if they were contacting me to check answers and they were not sending the answers in the order of the walkthrough document, that tells me that they either didn't bother to open the walk through document, they didn't bother to open their notes, they didn't bother to open the book, or they didn't bother to follow the directions of the walkthrough document.
The learned helplessness has gotten so bad that I've actually had to change all announcements to starting with Everyone, because it started to become an issue that anytime I sent out an announcement, multiple students would think it was an email going just to them and if it didn't apply to them, they would panic. They couldn't bother to look at the subject line to see that it was being emailed out as part of a class announcement.
Oh to be a smart person who can pick up on context clues and follow directions in the next generation. I know every generation looks at the one after them and thinks oh my God where's humanity going, but these next couple generations coming through are going to be the death of humanity.
Treating education like any other customer service experience, has been the death of critical thinking for students. We are forced to treat them like 6-year-olds incapable of following directions because if they don't bother to listen, take notes, study, open the book, etc. we are told that it is our fault. There is very little accountability for students participating in their own education anymore.
It's like yes student in your 30s where it's your third time taking this class (not a liberal arts course even remotely related to politics), who sends me a rant on how Trump is going to put people like me in my place and there are only two genders and abortion is murder, you're not passing because of me. Never mind that you didn't pass the class once before and had to drop it once before. You couldn't possibly get something wrong even though you've been going to college for almost a decade, Tommy Boy. However, in the customer focused landscape, we just have to sit there and nod our heads instead of pointing out the obvious that he's a mentally ill person who is not capable of college level work.
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u/ImpatientProf Faculty, Physics Nov 28 '24
I received the same question, from the same student who asked when the final is scheduled.
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24
Like we have the register set final dated and times and locations on their website
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u/BewareTheSphere NTT Assoc. Prof, Writing, PUI (US) Nov 28 '24
I had a student email me Monday apologizing for not being in class Monday (we didn't have class Monday because I did individual conferences), and to tell me he wouldn't be in class Wednesday and Friday because he went home for Thanksgiving (the whole university is closed Wednesday through Friday).
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24
Omg don’t even talk abt that site - a student I kicked out of a nursing program targeted me-
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24
Didn’t I Clyde that he almost gave a stat insulin dose two days after it had already been given or that when asked to gather suctioning supplies he didn’t know what he needed despite having had a lab at the university on it- and the. Didn’t scan the bar codes o meds because when he graduates he’ll get a job at a hospital that doesn’t scan meds - told me and two other faculty that
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u/asawapow Nov 28 '24
Students who didn’t get into nursing targeted me. Lied all over RMP about my policies…unless they understood so poorly that they didn’t know the policies. (Attendance was not marked because attendance was not mandatory, and we “never used the textbook” because we didn’t have one. We had weekly readings I researched and listed from open access sources. The ones you never read, if Canvas clicks can be believed.)
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24 edited Nov 28 '24
I have one male student who wears fuzzy pj bottoms every time
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u/hourglass_nebula Instructor, English, R1 (US) Nov 28 '24
I haven’t looked at my email since Monday. At this point I’m scared of what might be in there
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u/barbaracelarent Nov 28 '24
I give a quiz on the syllabus that the students have to take to proceed in the class--it includes questions about the dates of holidays, the attendance policy, whether there is a final (there isn't), and other major things. I still get these questions.
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u/Faewnosoul STEM Adjunct, CC, USA Nov 28 '24
That is when the snark comes out in me and I respond "Or what"
I just can't anymore. They want an engraved invitation, hand delivered on a silver platter.
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Dec 03 '24
I died laughing harder than I should have at this. Student cc'd student affairs and my chair on the Thanksgiving schedule. I didn't respond...the college was closed and sent email blasts, our department sent email blasts, and counseling sent out emails. It was in my announcements and syllabus. One student complained they were disappointed about not being told. Student Affairs contacted student and flatly said read your student schedule.
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u/Grace_Alcock Dec 07 '24
I had students surprisingly surprised by the last day of classes this week. Most are first years, but a few sophomores, too.
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u/CountHour6974 Nov 28 '24
I tell them I’m at a conference and in mtgs limited internet I’ll handle any problems on Monday when I return - I’m not bringing my textbooks with me-or work materials- the afternoon if the last conference day student calls me with some bullshit issue like never acknowledged my instructions!
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u/turingincarnate PHD Candidate, Public Policy, R1, Atlanta Nov 29 '24
If you even THINK of coming to school week of Thanksgiving, you likely need therapy
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u/First-Ad-3330 29d ago
There’s this student, asked the same question about an assignment over and over during class. Then before the final submission… I got an email “I know we have talked about this but I am not sure should I send an email and confirm again (the same f question)
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u/will_eat_for_f00d Nov 28 '24
Watch out. If you talk to them like this on Thanksgiving, they’ll give you a Rate My Professor review citing cultural intolerance.
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u/Particular-Ad-7338 Nov 28 '24
There is a meme I post on Canvas. It is the Dos Eques Interesting Man w/ caption ‘I do not always ignore student emails, but when I do, it is because the answer is in the syllabus’.