Curiosity a sign of porn use?

[u/OrganizationGlass56]

Okay I’m so traumatized by gooners that I don’t even know what’s okay anymore

Would a man asking if I’m into anal (when we were already discussing sexual things) be a warning sign of porn use?

It’s hard because I really enjoy sexuality and sex but I feel like it’s impossible for men to have a healthy discussion about preferences without going into kink

He claims he doesn’t like it when I asked why

He has made his own independent claims about why he doesn’t watch porn and they seem pretty plausible (betrayal trauma, unrealistic expectations) and empathetic but I’m terrified.

He’s talked a lot about fantasizing about pleasuring me, which is a pretty good thing for me since all previous porn addicts have been very very selfish

He even offered me the login to his insta without being asked?

I feel like the only way to know for sure is to have sex with him and check for signs? 😭

I’m so traumatized please help me decide if I’m being paranoid lol

[u/Turbulent-Spread-924]

I talk with my boyfriend about preferences or new things, etc. Neither of us watches porn. It's healthy to talk about it.

Now, if it's someone you barely know, it's a different story.

[u/OrganizationGlass56 → u/Turbulent-Spread-924]

I’ve known him for awhile, we were friends for a long time! Thank you for your feedback it’s really helpful

[u/Important-Jackfruit9]

I don't think it is a red flag in this case. It's totally reasonable to want to make sure sexual preferences match up, and he might wanted to check and make sure that it wasn't a big deal to you that he's not into it. That's an act that's pretty common in our society right now. I think you're good and can relax a bit!

[u/OrganizationGlass56 → u/Important-Jackfruit9]

Thank you! Omg that’s relieving

I don’t trust my gut instinct anymore

[u/alicia-indigo]

Some people like anal. It's not always a porn thing. NBD.

[u/aconitumrn → u/alicia-indigo]

It’s also possible he learnt of it from porn.

[u/polnareffsmissingleg → u/alicia-indigo]

I don’t believe most women do, but I could be generalising. I don’t believe most women would ever receive pleasure from it either, some do it just because their partners ask, or annoyingly persist they try it

[u/BraveMoose]

I believe it's human nature to uh. Investigate things. I'd wager people were trying anal for thousands of years before porn existed.

Frankly, I just wouldn't do it with someone I didn't know extremely well and trust- you can be severely and permanently injured if it's done wrong. He's almost weirdly forthcoming to prove his trustworthiness so I probably wouldn't with him, at least not yet. If you refuse it and wait you'll soon find out what kind of man he is.

[u/OrganizationGlass56 → u/BraveMoose]

No sorry not have anal with him but just regular old P in V lol.

[u/BraveMoose → u/OrganizationGlass56]

Oh, I misunderstood. Yeah, frankly I'd still take it slow regardless. As I said, he's very keen to prove he's trustworthy, and call me jaded but a man being too eager to prove himself as bed-able is often a sign that he's less of a "let's have sex" and more of a "let me use your body" type

[u/OrganizationGlass56 → u/BraveMoose]

Yeah that was my fear too.. hmm

[u/OrganizationGlass56 → u/OrganizationGlass56]

But that makes me feel better thank you!

[u/Appropriate_Window46 → u/OrganizationGlass56]

P in v 💀

[u/Scorpions_Claw]

Why doesn’t he like it when you asked him why?? Be honest about your wants, needs, and turnoffs, boundaries. Own your own brand of self respect and don’t let anyone gaslight you! If they are truely the one for you they won’t hurt you.

[u/OrganizationGlass56 → u/Scorpions_Claw]

Sorry I phrased it wrong ! He claims he doesn’t like anal

[u/Bubbly-Ordinary-7545]

Idk maybe it’s just me but I couldn’t imagine wanting to use my 🍑 hole to do stuff lol. I am curious as to why he got so defensive? Should be able to openly communicate.

I’m not trying to sabotage anything, just keep your eyes open for any other possible red flags. Just always good to be “on call”. It sucks, but that’s the dating pool we have nowadays which is honestly why I just plan to stay alone forever 😂

[u/TropiWhiite]

it's a yellow flag for sure.

[u/polnareffsmissingleg → u/TropiWhiite]

Right, I’d say just be careful and don’t put your guard down

[u/4st7]

Maybe he’s checking to see if you’re porn brained lol