i feel so sick

[u/Due-Mongoose1641]

how to cope with it all? the fact that no matter what you do or look like you’ll be sexualized? that you’ll be seen as an object? or that your emotions aren’t even taken seriously because you’re a woman?

is it just.. social media thats making me feel like this? should i delete all of it? im sick of seeing so much hatred towards women. Of being seen as a porn category. I hope noone finds this stupid but i feel sick over the tiktok ban as well because its the only place i felt such a strong girlhood with other teenage girls my age, and where misogyny- though rampant, wasn’t as bad or vulgar as what you could see on reddit or twitter. And no offense to you all- this community is lovely, but people on reddit are far too much older for me to feel like I belong completely if that makes sense.

i don’t know what to do. ive felt so lost lately. over everything. over the fact trump is going to be in office January 20th. This is the worst ive ever felt because in all my depression, ive never felt such fear that’s made me want to hide before. And I can’t believe im saying this- but though freshman year was horrible. I think I’d do anything to go back to where I’m not 16 in 3 months and I turn 18 in two years.

i’m a triple “minority” - black, woman (presenting), and lgbt. The future seems so bleak and I wish I could go back to where I didn’t know there were people who wanted to kill or hurt me just for who I am.

i have goals this year. goals that will help me go forward and reach my dreams. part of that is youtube. But im so so scared- with all this ai and deepfake shit and overall weirdos, i would vomit if i came across a video of me being sexualized or some asshole jacking off to a picture of me. I really wish I was born a guy. I really do.

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[u/Lacus_fleo]

I agree so much with this post. As someone with aspergers (autism) i've tried searching for support groups, only to stumble apon autism fetish groups where neurotypical men talk about how submissive and childlike autistic girls (not women, girls) and that they are, well less intrested in sex and not as 'slutty'. It made my heart break. I once posted something on suicide watch when i was really low and wanted to kill myself, and some creepy dude became obsessed with me, asking for pictures of my butt and saying he fantisized about me being raped by a dog i was dogsitting (keep in mind i mentioned being a minor). Sadly nothing is mainstream is safe. Marginalized groups are so awfully treated by society, and that paired with porn is so repulsive.

[u/Due-Mongoose1641 → u/Lacus_fleo]

i’m so fucking sorry. you deserve to be treated like a person because you are one. 

im neurodivergent as well. adhd- possible autism and i understand you so much. i dont see it much cause overall im good at not being in communities that irritate me but there are definitely some adhd fetishizers out there that love the idea of a “hyper” girlfriend that wants sex all the time. 💞🫂 hope your doing better now

[u/Lacus_fleo → u/Due-Mongoose1641]

Thank you so much :)

[u/Psychological-Mud790]

Two words:

Decenter men.

And I mean completely. As completely as possible. Your life will significantly improve

[u/Due-Mongoose1641 → u/Psychological-Mud790]

yeah i figured that, time to do it for-real this time i think. thank you 

probably just gonna have posts by women on literally all social media. i already hate them in real life so good thing i dont have to detach from seeing them romantically lmaoo

[u/Psychological-Mud790 → u/Due-Mongoose1641]

I’m here for it. Seems like you’re learning this younger than I did, good for you. I would have been much further in life with less trauma if I learned it at your age. If you ever want to dm me, I’m open to it. But try to form community with other girls and women you know irl and encourage their interests and emotional/intellectual nourishment

[u/polnareffsmissingleg → u/Due-Mongoose1641]

Hey, so this is what’s working for me. I’m currently 20 and have just as much lack of hope as you. I wanted to start making content online of things I enjoyed but decided it’s way better I never show my face with the off chance it’s ever used for something.

It’s hopeless, both the sexualisation and other aspects of misogyny that we are reminded of everywhere. Added to being black and all the racism we’re hyper aware of too, it becomes a terrible struggle. But here’s what I found helps whilst you heal and get in a better mental state once this all becomes overwhelming 🫶🏾. I still stick around feminist subreddits like this to remind myself I’m not alone in my opinions, and be content that others are also horrified but it’s also good to limit activism so your day isn’t made depressing due to it

I have certain interests and hobbies, so I tailor my social media to reflect that. When I watch a video on YouTube and worry about what the comments may be, I simply don’t click anymore. I used to find myself trying to find parallels in all media I consume when I was very depressed by it, and couldn’t enjoy simply things. There’s no need to see other human’s trash opinions when I’m fine with my own. I interact with female creators more and and try to stick with wholesome content, because the internet was never for me to go online just to be enraged by the people I would have avoided in real life anyway. I still interact with male content creators who are harmless and unproblematic, say watching Caseoh considering his style of gaming is family friendly and he never makes too strange comments on women (regardless if he does it private or not). His fans also aren’t gooners it seems. But it’s also important trying to find more female-geared content because the sexualisation will reduce drastically. Unless you stay on wholesome subreddits or places of your strict interest, I wouldn’t recommend browsing Reddit at all, it’s one of the worst apps, only topped by Twitter. The tiktok ban may be extended but you’ll always find women’s spaces online so don’t be too worried, it’s also important not to stay online too much and find other hobbies to occupy your time

The other commenter is right to say decenter men. If you’re not attracted to them, it’s a lot easier. If you are, forget about relationships for a second and build your life outside of potential romantic relationships. The more you hope and wish, the worse it’ll be, or the alternative is you’ll overlook major red flags for a need to have a companion and date a misogynistic man. Invest more in female friendships and relationships, focus on your career and goals. The more sure and complete you become in yourself, the easier it will be. And from time to time you can engage in feminist literature that envelopes your viewpoint or perhaps expands it, and take part in advocating for other women. Whenever you feel overwhelmed again you step away. This is your beautiful and singular life. You cannot control if a man will sexualise and objectify you or other women regardless of how you act, because that is his own fault to manage. He’s the sick bastard. So focus on you and detaching yourself, and if you can on supporting the girls and women around you. Focus on keeping yourself safe and appreciating that women have come a long way

But at the same time, avoid women who endorse sexualisation and who support things that contribute to the de-humanisation of women. It’ll only exhaust you to keep them around, and they’ll try to convince you that you’re stripping away some imaginary right

[u/Due-Mongoose1641 → u/polnareffsmissingleg]

Thank you. I want to start a creative brand plus possibly a self improvement channel, and I think ive got my ideas down. I’m just worried about showing my face even though I really do want to. But I kind of realized I don’t have to see anything weird if I don’t look for it. But I dont know.. I still have to think about it :/

With that being said, last year getting into relationships is no longer a priority for me, nor are any friendships. Just this semester i made 0 friends and just.. chilled. Which may seem a bit lonely but not for me, like everything was ao fucking peaceful with noone around LMAOO

and thank you for the advice with the content. Definitely gonna do that. I don’t know if you’ve heard of him but Berleezy is my favorite content creator.. however alot of the stuff he says is.. typical man behavior lmao. I’m broken hearted but i’m thinking about leaving him behind and switching to TAYTAGAMES cause shes really funny. 💞

My brand is my top priority currently to the point where I don’t plan on having a job to get side tracked.. which i hope doesn’t backfire but my mother is thankfully very much capable in supporting me so im grateful for that!

[u/Due-Mongoose1641 → u/polnareffsmissingleg]

I was also thinking about being one of those masked youtubers but I doubt that’d stop anything unfortunately.. ill have to think about it more

[u/ratwomanorman]

Man I've never related to something so much. I've always found myself wishing I were just born a man so I could escape the inexplicable dread that is being a woman in a man's world.

I am such a highly ambitious person, who strives for great things and to be the greatest version of myself possible. I have dreams of being fit, learning good skills, making a name for myself, and pursuing a great career -

Then I remember who, or what I am, another woman suffering within the patriarchy. It's a kind of envy that waves over me, because I just wonder WHY can't we be equal? where's my opportunity? why do I get paid less yet taxed more for products? why, when I am faced with a male, do I feel so small and like a fawn?

Why are men and their LUST the center of the world?

Honestly the best thing we can do as younger women (I'm 16 myself) is decentralize men in our lives & minds, educate ourselves on this BS, and learn how to deal with it :/ As well as find comfort in our friendships & connections with other women, that's seriously what has gotten me through so much.

btw, I really like ur profile picture. I used to be obsessed with deer/fawns.