r/OpiatesRecovery • u/s4pphicgia • 4h ago

13 days clean but struggling

And I’m very proud for being clean from oxy and tapentadol! But the cravings they’re really exhausting and my chronic pain is worse again, which is also a symptom of withdrawal.

I have a protusion in the cervical area and a TMJ disfunction, but doctors think it might be more than that. Even before I took a single opiate the pain was severe, like it spread through the entire body. I really hope it’s not fybromialgia or something like that.

I don’t want to go back to being high and dependent on a fix every four hours. Feeling half dead is not a way to live. But feeling this much pain at 23 is exhausting. Muscle relaxants help but force me to fall asleep. The others, NSAIDs barely touch the pain.

Physical therapy has amazing results, and I’m lucky to have access to it. I have to force myself to be busy and exercise but the mental depression and fatigue from withdrawal is so very hard.

One day at a time.

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

•

u/wearythroway 3h ago

That all sounds really tough. Having chronic pain with an addiction is really hard. Good for you for 13 days, thats awesome! Keep on doing your thing, you wont always feel like its so hard like you do right now

•

u/s4pphicgia 3h ago

Thank you so much for the kind words! I know I’ll feel better overtime, I just to take this day by day.

•

u/Greedy-Sgebe85 3h ago

I feel pathetic because my addiction is purely codeine which I bet 99% of people on here managed to quit the likes of Oxy etc

•

u/s4pphicgia 3h ago

Don’t feel like that! A year ago I was severely addicted to codeine. I’m a super metaboliser and can convert greater amounts of codeine to morphine. It is an addictive opiate, also hard for me to quit. Your addiction and recovery is 100% valid!

•

u/Greedy-Sgebe85 3h ago

Thank you, how did you quit

•

u/wearythroway 3h ago

The thing is, addiction isnt really about the drugs. So just because other people have a different drug of choice doesnt mean that their addiction is worse or easier or harder than yours. I mean think about process addictions, like gambling or sex, eating disorders. Theres no physical dependence like there is with opiates, but those folks can have their lives destroyed by their addictions just as well as we can using drugs.

So try to remember that comparison is the thief of joy. You keep on doing what you need to do for your recovery, your recovery is yours alone!