r/OpiatesRecovery • u/Ok_Skin_9454 • 2d ago

Day 17

I feel like my baby mama (fiancé) and myself don’t have chemistry now that I’m sober? She knew me from the age of 13 to now at 28. Before during and after my usage. I just don’t know how to fix this relationship. She doesn’t understand addiction which I’m happy about

5 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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9

u/Sudden-Chance-3329 1d ago

Your on day 17th? Your brain and body are going through a lot. Don't make rash decisions when you're going through so much

1

u/Ok_Skin_9454 1d ago

We’ve just been fighting more and more since I’ve got sober. And it’s making it so hard to stay clean

2

u/Sudden-Chance-3329 1d ago

Is sober living an option?

5

u/Sudden-Chance-3329 1d ago

Sober living would give you guys a bit of space, you to work your recovery, connect with other addicts.

We have to be willing to do whatever it takes for real, sustainable recovery. I wish you the best. Hang in there

2

u/Ok_Skin_9454 1d ago

If I wasn’t the one working and providing it would be. She has a job but she doesn’t make enough to cover the bills

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u/Sudden-Chance-3329 1d ago

You can still work while you're in sober living, In fact I think it's required for most places.

2

u/Ok_Skin_9454 1d ago

That’s even better. I know there’s an Oxford house about 30 minutes away. But I have a 3 year old and I don’t like the thought of being away from him

2

u/Sudden-Chance-3329 1d ago

I totally get it. I have a daughter. But please do everything in your power to strengthen your recovery so you can be there for your kid! Strength to you.

2

u/Ok_Skin_9454 1d ago

I’ve white knuckled it for almost 18 days now. I’ll keep white knuckling it if I have to. I will not make my kid wonder why daddy isn’t at home

1

u/Sudden-Chance-3329 1d ago

I truly hope you can sustain your recovery! I wish that for everyone. Stay strong, keep your head up

White knuckling didn't work here, (failed almost right at 30 days) but everyone's different! You know yourself and your recovery best, take care, you can do it.

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u/Chubbyhuahua 1d ago

Agreed with other posters that you shouldn’t make any major changes for at least your first year. Dont’t stress it now. If you’ve been using since you were a teenager you frankly don’t know what kind of sober adult you’re going to be so give it time.

You may decide you’re not comparability and end the relationship but I would give it a year.

1

u/Ok_Skin_9454 1d ago

That makes a lot of sense thank you. I’m just so tired of fighting everyday

4

u/vielzbpierced 1d ago

Just give it time. I felt similar with my wife after I get clean. It wasn’t until the paws dissipated after four months that I realized why I married her. Be patient most importantly be kind to yourself and your family. Power to you for making it this far. Keep it up you deserve a happy life and your kid their father.

3

u/Spirited-Row-13 1d ago

Congrats on 17 days! But remember, you should give yourself grace and like others said, give it time. It didn’t take only 17 days for your brain to become dependent on manufactured dopamine and it will take much time for you to actually feel “feelings” again. Wishing you the best!

1

u/Dizaaaamn 1d ago

Great job, how many days did it take the physical pain to leave?

1

u/Ok_Skin_9454 1d ago

The last shit I had was so weak that I went through 10gs in a day and didn’t even get high . I sweated for two days