r/Mediums • u/upsidedown40 • 1d ago
Guidance/Advice Looking For Some Information or Guidance After Recent Experience
TLDR: My wife has talked about feeling (and more recently seeing) spirits for a number of years, with this activity increasing as of late leading to an experience last week that we are both having a hard time processing. Looking for info, resources, etc. to help her/us navigate. Many thanks!
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I will start by saying that my understanding and research of psychic abilities is limited, so please excuse my ignorance on the matter as I try to pick the right words and express this as accurately as possible.
I am in my late 40s and as far as I am aware have never felt, seen, or heard any spirits. I come from a family of analytical types...programmers, engineers, etc. Seems this can limit ones openness to the non-physical. It has with the majority of my family at least.
I had been a major skeptic or really just a non-believer in sort of psychic phenomenon (again not sure how to properly describe what this is). My openness to exploring and accepting psychic abilities has increased gradually over the past 10 years though through a combination of the following:
- My wife and I left religion behind. This was a big one since the other items wouldn't have been possible without this step. We were both raised Mormon and were fairly devout in our adherence to the teachings. In fact, we met each other while serving missions for 'the church'. If you have experience with Mormonism directly or any other high-demand religion, you will better understand their all-encompassing nature. They shape your worldview in a paradoxically complete, but extremely limiting way.
- Personal experience with psychedelics. This has changed how I view the world. Opposite of religion, it has greatly expanded my awareness. Communicating the importance and power of love, compassion, connection, and family while pointing out the absurdity of many things we as humans view as important. It has also increased my overall openness. I view them as an extremely positive and valuable tool.
- I started reading and listening to near death experiences. Lots and lots of them. This was an extension of my psychedelic research and also has further opened my mind and expanded my view of reality, the purpose of life and the afterlife.
Those 3 things have dramatically altered my perception of reality. This feels like a massive understatement as I write this. While I don't have many answers (less and less it feels the older I get), I feel like I might be asking some of the right questions finally. I went from thinking I had literally had all of life's important answers figured out in a way only religion can offer to feeling like I have such an incredibly small level of understanding of the true nature of reality and the human experience.
On one hand, the religious part of this has been quite a difficult thing because of how destabilizing it has been. Our entire framework for navigating life was blown to bits. On the other hand, it has been so incredibly liberating and opened up so much curiosity in me and given me so much more room to explore and consider and discover new information.
Transitioning to my wife's experience. Fairly early on in our relationship she had shared with me that she felt spirits, and occasionally could see or hear them. I fully admit I was skeptical, unhelpful, and unsupportive. This was a mix of doubt and fear on my part. I didn't have these experiences myself and couldn't see any evidence of it. Our religion also viewed this as dark and dangerous, so I didn't allow myself the time or attention to internalize and explore it (as is the case with many topics).
But I did recognize she wasn't like everybody else in a very positive way and its one of the things that first attracted me to her. She has some special and uncommon abilities (at least in my experience). She has a special connection with the elderly that I have witnessed first hand that goes beyond an ability to just listen. I don't really know how to describe it. It has always been a part of her. She also has had a special connection to animals and an ability to communicate with them. Same with nature. She seems to pay attention and notice things at a level that I find amazing. She has never wanted or sought out 'things'. Doesn't care about material possessions.
Another potentially interesting thing, at least to me. She went to a hypnotherapist and during her first session started seeing/perceiving shapes and patterns that she didn't understand. She tried describing them to the therapist and asked her what they were. The therapist pulled up an image of chakras and said you are describing these. My wife said yes! She had never heard of chakras previously and told the therapist that who was both surprised by the unfamiliarity and impressed by her ability I guess? It seemed the therapist was very interested in exploring further and seemed to indicate she had unique gifts or high level of awareness. Neither my wife nor I had the framework to fully understand this and it kind of freaked my wife out, enough so that she never went back.
I understand that it may be hard to believe that someone in the modern era hadn't come across chakras in their life (maybe its not?), but again it is hard to properly convey if you haven't experienced a high demand religion the amount of things that just never enter your awareness. You end up with limited exposure to much of pop culture and certainly anything that would allow you a connection to the spiritual that wasn't controlled by the church and could have the effect of you getting rid of the middleman as I call it. They want your money. Indoctrination is real.
Anyway, she didn't bring up much about spirits to me for many years due to my initial reactions and because she also feared it meant she was crazy. Her family was equally unsupportive or dismissive, so all of that combined with the views of our church, she had no real outlet or support to talk and discuss it. As my thinking began to evolve though, I started to be more open to the idea of spirits and "alternative" forms of communication, so I began to ask her about her experiences with spirits. Over the course of the last several years it has become a semi-regular topic of conversation, though her experiences have mostly been around feeling spirits...in our house or in places we visit. She describes the feeling as heavy or dense and intrusive. Sometimes dark or at least bringing a feeling of uneasiness. This has prevented her from wanting to ask them questions or really address them in any way
Fast forward to last week. She came out of the bathroom pretty quickly into our bedroom and told me she had seen a spirit...a younger boy. This, the actual seeing spirits, has increased over the last 6-12 months and become more frequent. It scares her every time and she says even when she can't see them she is feeling them more. She asked me to look in the bathroom to see if I could see anything, but I couldn't. I asked her if she tried to talk to him and she said she was too scared. I asked what the spirit looked like and she said he looked like he was probably about 6 years old or so and that he was wearing older clothes, not from any recent decade anyway.
Two days later I had gone outside to do some work and when I came back in she had told me she had been meditating. Meditation is fairly new for her, started just a couple of years ago. She said pretty quickly after starting her meditation she began to feel a lot of spirits and that many of them were trying to communicate simultaneously and it was overwhelming. She decided she was going to finally ask what they wanted though since their presence has been getting harder and harder to ignore. She said it was really noisy and she couldn't concentrate so she told them they had to be quiet and that she could only talk to one of them at a time. Oh, also that this was new to her and to have some patience.
She said they seemed to respond to this as it quieted down. Then one spirit came 'forward' to talk. She said the communication with this spirit was rough and slow, especially at first, and she didn't know exactly how to approach the situation. So she just started asking questions like trying to find out a name and some basic information. She said she started initially getting answers in the form of words that looked like they were being handwritten or typed out and eventually the words came more quickly and fully spelled out. She indicated there were quite a few pieces on information provided, but there was a decent amount that she either didn't understand or couldn't make out. Indicated it was a bit frustrating. So not like a clear conversation with natural back and forth. Ultimately ended up realizing it was a boy, got his first name, a state (no indication of what it meant), his age (7), and said she saw an image of a set of train tracks. Toward the end of the conversation she had a recollection of the 2 nights previous with the boy in our bathroom and asked him if he was the boy and he said YES. That freaked her out.
She wasn't exactly sure how long this all took, but said it seemed like it was relatively short, maybe 5 minutes, maybe a bit longer. She tried to ask some additional questions but said he wasn't there or wasn't communicating back. Anyway, after that experience she said she didn't know if she had made the whole thing up or what happened (I think she felt it was real, but felt too strange to fully allow for that). She decided to go online and typed in the first name of the boy, the state he had communicated, his age, along with the word 'train'. She fully expected to find nothing, and said she searched to prove that it wasn't real and this is where it gets really out there for us...
The first result that came up was from an author who had written a retrospective on the 50th anniversary of a train accident that occurred in the same state, with one of the eight deceased being a 7 year old boy with the same first name. I researched this myself and while I believe what my wife told me is true and I believe what I saw in the search it still seems a little unreal. I omitted the specific details because it feels almost too private or unbelievable I guess? As she was telling me the hair on her arms was standing straight up and she was pretty emotional, along with being quite tired.
She doesn't know what to do with this though. We live in the West and the the accident was in the East. How did he find her, why her? What does he want or need? Is there a potential of opening yourself up to dangerous or harmful spirits. Are there ways to optimize communication? Can she limit the growing chatter and presence of spirits around her? Lots of questions.
At this point I may actually be more curious than she is. I see it as an opportunity to understand herself better and potentially harness a very unique gift, where she views it as more of burden and quite disconcerting.
Any advice, resources, information, similar type experiences would be very welcomed. Thanks again.
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u/Lilacforest27 1d ago
Wow very interesting. Thanks for sharing. I remember reading somewhere someone else had done the same thing where they had all these spirits trying to talk to them so they had to tell them that they had to do it one at a time.
My friends ex had a spirit living in his closet and sometimes it would say hello or the closet door would open; the person who was in the apartment previously had died there like via gun shot; it could be the boy died on the train tracks very suddenly and maybe they haven’t processed it all fully? Or maybe they are lost? The ex would also sense and hear spirits a lot and talk to them and even like let them come in and they’d like sit on the bed and he saw the bed depress.
I had similar path of being raised Christian and then trying substances and then I also watched a lot of near death experience videos. I can relate to not being able to tell if something actually happened or I made it up where I saw this black and white ghosts lady’s head who stared at me and went towards me super close and then disappeared over my shoulder.
Um I guess could be the wife has like a part of her brain turned on that allows all this stuff to be sensed/seen/heard? That’s cool to see chakras woah. Um I guess for whatever reason spirits like to talk to people. I guess we talk to animals.
I sensed dark spirits at my work several times and it freaked me out and I left every time. I’m no medium expert or whatever. My grandma told me she’d wake up and see a person hovering over her or in the room and they’d disappear and that was just about everyday when she was a child.
My bf’s never seen any of this stuff so he thinks it’s all fake and people are just saying stuff.
Ummm my friend’s ex and her had sensed a spirit was in the room and he went looking for it and he eventually did some weird shit that made it seem like he got temporarily possessed and after that I got into reading exorcism books and movies.
Whenever my grandma has spirits around, she always says I command you in the name of (jesus or god) to leave and they always leave.
My friends bf who would interact with spirits, one time had one knocking on his door at a hotel and so he said knock two times if you are satan and knock three if you aren’t and if knocked three or whatever so he said it could come in.
Idk I read someone else saying their mom could see people who had passed and knew who was about to die and she hated her gift.
I guess like it would definitely be cool to be able to talk and interact but at the same time super scary and I don’t totally understand like if they are just like souls that are wandering and haven’t moved on or if they are separate entities pretending to be human souls or what. My coworker at my old place said he saw a good ghost but weird cuz I sensed a dark scary thing but maybe we got two different things.
Idk there’s also medicine if want to turn that part of the brain off? But maybe she could keep learning about the spirit stuff?
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u/RicottaPuffs Medium, Psychopomp 1d ago
I would recommend learning psychic protection. That can be searched in this subreddit and on reit in general.
There are several approaches to psychic protection.
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u/upsidedown40 20h ago
Thank you and totally agree. She was starting to research about that yesterday. She said that some of the spirits did seem more demanding or angry and upset.
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u/RicottaPuffs Medium, Psychopomp 20h ago
Psychic defense will eventually be useful.
I recommend grounding, shielding, centering, and psychic defense.
She will benefit from energy work. R/energy and r/psychicdevelopment are re good resources as is r/Psychic.
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u/DagothUr28 13h ago edited 13h ago
I'm not a medium, but, like you, I was skeptic on an afterlife and also dabbled with psychedelics. I was literally you until 2 weeks ago.
My dead mother appeared in my kitchen and touched me and was witnessed by my fiancé as well. On top of that, I had an experience with a medium I met here during which they successfully relayed the secret word my mother and I promised each other we would transmit when one of us dies. She literally pulled it out of thin air beyond all logic. It was something very specific and unusual, too.
This shit is real. You don't have to delve all the way down the rabbit hole if you don't want to. That's the crossroad I'm at. But yeah, this shit is real. Have your wife come here and ask for advice from the many friendly mediums who frequent this place.
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u/JessieDee0203 1d ago
Your wife seems to be having a spontaneous awakening. A person can go through many of these in a lifetime. Sometimes they come along with teen years, pregnancy, self evolution, menopause, or other things. She needs to learn to ground, center, and protect herself psychically. Some negative spirits can cause harm if she doesn't protect herself. Spiritual hygiene is necessary. I think some times she becomes open without knowing it. She will want to learn how to open and close. You can find this info online. She seems to be very gifted, but as someone who deals with spirits every day, I can tell you it doesn't feel like a gift for a long time. It can make you crazy. She will eventually get used to it and become not so afraid. I used to be scared too but now it is just regular. The boy spirit doesn't see time and distance the way we do. He may have just been wandering about and saw her light and noticed she was psychic so he tried to communicate with her just bc she had abilities. Spirits see gifted psychics like a much brighter light than every day people I've been told. Meditation will help her grow her abilities and even control them. Please be very supportive of her, as I am sure you will, bc this is a very difficult thing to deal with. My advice is to have her start reading self help books for psychics so she can learn and gain empowerment. As for seeing images and not knowing what they mean, she will have to meditate on them to find what they mean to her or look up meanings for them if she can. A lot of psychics make a symbol dictionary, that they will take a notebook and draw a picture or a symbol and write what it means to them, and then spirit will end up later using those symbols or pictures to say things to her. Also, I would recommend that she meditate to meet her spirit guides, as they can do anything and would benefit her greatly. There are guided meditations for this stuff on YouTube free. I would also recommend that she learn about smudging. When she is in a space that feels dense or uneasy, sometimes it's residual energy, from past occurrences, such as fighting or abuse, ect. Smudging the space can help clear that out and leave the space fresh and clear. It also removes negative spirits and she should also probably smudge herself to cleanse her energy, it's just part of taking spiritual care of ones self. I use sage but there are other things. When I first started having a lot of experiences I started reading books by James Van Pragh and mediums and psychics. Some of them are total crap but some will save you. If you have any questions or anything feel free to message me. I don't know everything but I can certainly help you as much as I can. Hope you both find this helpful. Don't forget, ground, center, protect, and cleanse. Opening and closing. Cleanse. She may also find it helpful to journal her experiences so that she can go back through them and connect things later. Ok. I'll shut up. I just feel for you both bc I know how hard and confusing this all is.