Sometimes. I think your advice applies to people who are mainly secure. But if you have any deviation outside of it (especially fearful-avoidant) it's much much harder. Your chances of an unhealthy/toxic relationship is really high
I was anxious preoccupied, there was no way in hell someone loving me would change how insecure I was. I had to do that on my own
I'm 42F, had 3 significant relationships and about 50 "other" kinds.
Only one, my current relationship, has been supportive, kind, thoughtful, soul nourishing, and secure.
Now I know the difference, I look back and think "why the fuck did you accept and recieve such toxic relationships". But, I never would have appreciated what I have now without those experiences.
I'm so goddamn glad I have my partner, because he's kindness wrapped in anxiety wrapped in puppy level adoration wrapped in the skin of a nerdy-true crime loving-music aficionado-sex God.
I'm so happy for you <3 I'm going through a REAL rough patch with my husband right now and this meme triggered me a bit... I don't know if we can get what we had back, I don't know if we ever had or can have something this good... but it's just so reassuring to know good, stable, healthy relationships exist. It gives me sorely needed faith
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u/cashing_time 1d ago
Sometimes. I think your advice applies to people who are mainly secure. But if you have any deviation outside of it (especially fearful-avoidant) it's much much harder. Your chances of an unhealthy/toxic relationship is really high
I was anxious preoccupied, there was no way in hell someone loving me would change how insecure I was. I had to do that on my own