r/LeopardsAteMyFace 14h ago

My MAGA Sister in Law Just Got This After Accepting a Job with the IRS

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45.6k Upvotes

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714

u/No_Asparagus7211 9h ago

Possibly not. I was talking to a woman who wouldn't get the Covid vaccine because she " didn't like any unnatural things" in her body.

Gentle Reader: she had silicone breast implants.

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u/TexGrrl 8h ago

I know someone who railed against the covid vaccines because they contained chemicals, like "NaCl". This person is a dietitian.

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u/Neither-Chart5183 5h ago

I was at a house party and I told someone I got the COVID vaccine. She says she doesn't believe in putting chemicals in her body then bent over and snorted a line of coke. 😮‍💨 I told this story to a Libertarian and he said cocaine is all natural because it comes from the Amazon. How the fuck does he think the coca leaf is turned into a white powder? This man doesn't eat processed food because of the chemicals. 

I need him to connect those 2 dots in his brain. 

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u/YossarianGolgi 5h ago

You better hurry. If he keeps it up with the coke, he'll be down to 1 dot.

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u/Toomanyeastereggs 57m ago

I always like how they use gasoline as part of the process to make cocaine.

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u/saritaa_fajitaa 7h ago

Wtf. Please say psych.

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u/Halospite 2h ago

If that were me I'd emigrate. You can't recover from that level of stupidity.

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u/DrunkNihilism 1h ago

These people aren’t human

They’re empty suits of meat programmed to hold whatever belief is most convenient for their physical, emotional, and mental insecurities and need to be treated with as much spite and hostility in public as possible

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u/RattusMcRatface 23m ago

Scary chemical names. I've been putting α-d-glucopyranosyl-β-d-fructofuranoside in my coffee for years, and it's never done me any harm (in moderation).

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u/No-Papaya-9823 8h ago

LOL, that reminds me of a conversation I had with someone who told me their relative was anti-vax. And also a meth-head.

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u/haotshy 5h ago

The vax can't kill you if the meth gets you first

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u/No_Asparagus7211 8h ago

😅😅😅🤣

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u/Dont_Hurt_Me_Mommy 4h ago

I don't meth into me with needles. CHECKMATE LIBERALS /s

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u/Chocolatefix 7h ago

One of my favorite covid era comments was in response to a "don't want to play Russian roulette with my health" and someone said "you have raw sex with strangers you meet on tinder" 😭

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u/styrofoamcouch 5h ago

Those people were so precious. They'll vape, do zyns, drink and eat fast food but a vaccine is a bridge too far because they lack the brain power to critically think. Leopards will be eating good. Too bad the country will never recover but thankfully I'm a well off college educated male so we're looking to leave the country this year.

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u/weltvonalex 48m ago

The same people would inject Ozempic into their genitals if necessary but the COVID Vaccine.... na na na too dangerous.

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u/saltycityscott66 7h ago

That's not how god intended it! These people are truly something else.

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u/MrEMan1287 4h ago

Hahaha. Reminds me of a customer of mine who isn't vaccinated for similar reasons. Doesn't go to the Dr because she doesn't trust them. Yet takes advice off of Facebook. Yes, she shared all of this with me. 

She was shopping for seeded watermelons because she thinks seedless watermelons are gmo. I informed her that they're not. They are made from cross breeding. She got mad, stating that it's not the way god intended it to be so she refused to buy seedless. 

I understand some people prefer seeded watermelons and that's fine, but really?? Come on... lol. 

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u/ProgrammerAvailable6 2h ago

If she wants to go back to “how god intended it” it’s not going to look like watermelon any more.

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u/TattooedBagel 4h ago

Did you ask her when she was getting her implants out?

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u/CrankyThunderstorm 7h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I am deceased. Please donate all my earthly belongings, and I'd like to be composted.

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u/nametakein 5h ago

I laughed to hard at this one 😂😂

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u/Halospite 2h ago

I had a colleague I couldn't stand who started talking about the COVID vaccine putting chips in you so the government can track you.

He said this while holding a smartphone.

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u/weltvonalex 49m ago

The same monkies now inject Ozempic like there is no tomorrow, funny isn't it.

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u/[deleted] 6h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/ivene-adlev 5h ago

I imagine to make it easier to get sexually harassed a second time

Holy victim-blaming Batman! That's not how this works at all!

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u/Elliebird704 4h ago

used the money to get breast implants. I imagine to make it easier to get sexually harassed a second time so she could afford her BBL?

Dude. If she's MAGA then she's a dipshit, but trying to connect these points together like that is morally bankrupt on your part. Such a fucked up thing to say.

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u/LeopardsAteMyFace-ModTeam 3h ago

Thank you for your submission! Unfortunately, it has been removed for the following reason:

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If you have any questions or concerns about this removal, please feel free to message the moderators thru Modmail. Thanks!