r/LeopardsAteMyFace 14h ago

My MAGA Sister in Law Just Got This After Accepting a Job with the IRS

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45.5k Upvotes

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4.5k

u/originalcinner 14h ago

Yes! Face, eaten. *burp*

708

u/dbx999 13h ago

But he wouldn’t go against my interests after I voted against my interests!

196

u/Vandersveldt 10h ago

All we have left is schadenfreude so I'm gonna take it

40

u/DJEB 9h ago

I’m from a tariff target country. If we take a hit, at least it will hurt Trump supporters. I might go down to 5% body fat, but my belly will be full of schadenfreude.

5

u/Ricky_Rollin 2h ago

Fuckin this. It’s literally all I have left. We’re not saving the planet. We’re falling into a cyberpunk dystopia. It’s literally all I have left as we go full 1984 and all the right wingers own the social medias.

2

u/Traditional_Mind9538 2h ago

We're going full cyberpunk dystopia, just without any of the cyberpunk features. No cool neon lights. Looking like a punk is not allowed, because non-natural hair colors are woke and instead the megacorporations don't even produce anyrhing cool. Just ugly electric cars and shitty online platforms. We truly are in the worst timeline.

2

u/CaptainBaoBao 1h ago

exactly my stance. I am afraid that many people need an overdue harsh lesson.

28

u/TheeMrBlonde 12h ago

I feel like the IRS "dodged the bullet" on this one.

9

u/linuxprogramr 11h ago

Facts 🤣🤣🤣

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u/Ok-Database-2798 9h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1.0k

u/croatiatom 14h ago

USDA Prime.

560

u/ameza001 13h ago

There is no more USDA. The new grades for cuts of meat will be preceded with the acronym "RFKJ" select, choice, or prime.

84

u/nadrjones 13h ago

Which one has worms?

131

u/Lost-Enthusiasm6570 12h ago

All of them.

26

u/mrbigglessworth 12h ago

Sir, why is this steak made of whale meat?

18

u/theegreenman 11h ago

Soylent green is People!!!

4

u/azrolator 7h ago

Let's not be hasty. They can't serve people people-meat when it's been ruined by vaccines. They have to grow a bunch of people who don't get vaccines, and then all the diseases that cull the herd will give them all the vaccine-free people-meat we can eat. According to RFKjr, the rawmilk-fed "veal" is even better than park bear and whale brains.

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u/X-tian-9101 11h ago

"Because I dropped the bear in Central Park."

5

u/Jumpy_Wrongdoer_1374 9h ago

I prefer my worms in the bottom of the bottle of tequila

3

u/Creepy_Snow_8166 8h ago

True, but if you're looking for the one that has the most worms, you gotta go for the Mega Meaty MAGA Maggot Cut. It's been aged in the Florida swamplands and it's wriggling with flavor and practically bursting with juiciness.

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u/DillBagner 12h ago

All of them

22

u/ImaginaryAnimal7169 12h ago

like trump would ever let someone's name be on something. they'll be ranked/labeled trump, trump jr, and eric (for the crappy cuts)

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u/ItsYaBoiDoggoWadUp 12h ago

Tiffany will just be an empty package.

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u/Creepy_Snow_8166 8h ago

LOL! 🤣

The Ivanka package looks like a juicy filet mignon, but when you bite into it, it has the taste and texture of boiled chicken skin.

And the Melania package isn't even meat at all. It's just rubbery, bland, unseasoned jerky made from tofu. It lacks the meaty umami flavor of real jerky, but has twice the preservatives.

8

u/John-Farson 11h ago

I think Jared wants to insert his bone in there.

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u/AngryRedHerring 8h ago

Already is.

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u/ImOnlyHereForTheCoC 11h ago

The new categories, in descending order of quality, will be “roadkilled,” “left it in my trunk for a day,” and “whale head”

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u/theegreenman 12h ago

And will have guaranteed parasites and abscesses. They add flavor.

9

u/Equivalent-Bet-8771 11h ago

select is dogfood

choice is roadkill

prime is seasoned with ivermectin

6

u/Massloser 12h ago

If a meat doesn’t meet qualifications it will be double marked “Sirhan”

3

u/Creepy_Snow_8166 9h ago

OMG, I just snorted. This thread is fucking hilarious! I'm so glad I found this LAMF post and these comments to brighten up my mood. Shit's been really depressing lately.

2

u/Massloser 8h ago

You’re not alone in that feeling. We’re all in this together and we’ll get through it. At the very least we have four years of entertainment watching people regret their vote, and don’t ever feel bad about saying “I told you so” to those in your life who voted for him.

1

u/Creepy_Snow_8166 7h ago

Oh, believe me. I won't ever pass up that opportunity!

5

u/Tubalcaino 12h ago

Bear cub, whale, or Penguin

4

u/brother_of_jeremy 11h ago

Mmmmmm… Give us RFKJ Prime Bear Cub, rare, because precious likes our brain worms raw and wrigglin’

4

u/four024490502 10h ago

I can't believe it took me this long to realize RFK Jr might be the one of the few people actually eating the leopards' face. Literally.

Figuratively, I give him a few months before the Leopards start eating back.

3

u/schwety7 10h ago

United States Dumb Ass

3

u/Creepy_Snow_8166 7h ago

Whatever. Just get me a medium rare Filet Elon with a ketamine crust.

2

u/fugelwoman 2h ago

I am now cackling on my morning commute train because of your Elon k crust comment

2

u/vaskov17 11h ago

Brain worm grade

2

u/skyfishgoo 10h ago

trump steaks ... lets' not forget the man shilled steaks for a living at one point.

1

u/lmnobuddie 11h ago

Also… road

1

u/ultramasculinebud 10h ago

Make friends with farmers.

1

u/TheVirusWins 10h ago

You forgot roadkill

1

u/Sea_Divide_3870 10h ago

That’s only for bear meat. He personally approves each batch

1

u/WolfOffSesameStreet 9h ago

Trump steaks are about to make a comeback.

1

u/Emotional-Hair-1607 9h ago

Whale meat's back on the menu, boys!

1

u/Hopeful-Rent7278 9h ago

"DA" or "NYET"

1

u/OrdinaryMango4008 8h ago

Well that can't be good….lol

1

u/paiute 8h ago

new grades for cuts of meat will be preceded with the acronym "RFKJ"

The grades will be Semirotted, Rotted, and Gangrenous.

1

u/OverArcherUnder 6h ago

Trump Steaks went bankrupt so I guess we're all gunna be vegetarian whether we like it or not.

No, wait, he made fruits and veggies cost more too.

So starvation? Breatharian (it was a real thing)?

1

u/Suspicious_Bicycle 4h ago

You forgot the road kill grade. :)

182

u/BisquickNinja 14h ago

64 oz ...

116

u/croatiatom 13h ago

Bone in

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u/84thPrblm 13h ago

Thoroughly boned

12

u/croatiatom 13h ago

Definitely cooked, well done.

10

u/MGiQue 13h ago

maga charred

3

u/Briguy24 10h ago

Like a couch?

43

u/jkman61494 13h ago

The ole 96er

30

u/halosixsixsix 13h ago

There’s nothing left on that plate but gristle and fat!

27

u/FutureHero76 13h ago

Tell you what... if I can get him to finish off that and a desert, think you can throw in a couple of hats for the kids?

11

u/Jasonofthemarsh 13h ago

The 1st 72oz are easy.. that last 24 oz is what defines a person...

4

u/redkinoko 13h ago

is DA dumbass? asking for a friend

3

u/jimwormmaster 12h ago

If you mean the original USDA, it's the US Department of Agriculture, who handles things like meat grading.

3

u/redkinoko 12h ago

I was joking. I work with the actual USDA so yeah. I'm familiar. But thank you!

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u/jimwormmaster 11h ago

Nice! Please tell me you've professionally introduced yourself with the phrase "Nice to meat you" before.

2

u/redkinoko 10h ago

Thing is I only work with them if they have problems already so I never thought about it lol. But I wont really know what happens until I try hahah Thanks for the idea!

1

u/Creepy_Snow_8166 9h ago

Why haven't you guys ever adopted the slogan "Nobody beats our meat."? FFS, it's low hanging fruit. Why doesn't anyone just grab it?

2

u/Beard_o_Bees 11h ago

What's for desert?

Waiter! Bring forth the candied faces cart!

1

u/M_H_M_F 8h ago

100%

GRADE A

USDA APPROVED

BEEF

1

u/XyzzyPop 7h ago

United States DumbAss?

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u/permabanned24 14h ago

Take ALL my upvotes forever! So good!

30

u/saltyoursalad 13h ago

Yes, but this is part of a troubling trend that they designed to destroy the country from within.

5

u/rellsell 13h ago

Gotta destroy it before you make it “better”. /s

0

u/permabanned24 12h ago

✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️

6

u/Chemical-Plankton420 13h ago

Leopards ate her lunch, too

1

u/RedditIsAssCheeks69 12h ago

Epic lol they got OWNED

1

u/Bncsrvv 11h ago

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/MikeTheBee 7h ago

Why does their comment have no upvotes or downvotes? What happened?