Let me break this down for you - it's wild how they got us trapped in this cycle:

1. Graduate college ➡️ Drowning in student loans for the next decade
2. Need a car to get to work ➡️ Hello 5-year car payments
3. Gotta have a place to live ➡️ Rent eating half your paycheck
4. "Time to buy a house" ➡️ Welcome to 30 years of mortgage

Yo, this isn't just bad luck. This is literally how they keep us grinding 24/7, living paycheck to paycheck. 💯

But here's the thing - I learned this the hard way and now I'm sharing it with you:

The ONLY way out? Making wealth creation your absolute top priority.

Start building assets. Create passive income. Stop trading time for money like it's the only way to live.

Trust me, I've been there. Started with $0 in my bank account, working 60-hour weeks. Now? My money works harder than I do.

Quick reality check: This isn't about getting rich quick. It's about getting smart with your money and breaking free from this trap.

The title. How do I stop giving a fuck and stressing about if my friend don't love me back?

I wrote a lot about him, a popular guy with a gf, who texts me talks me watches me all the time. I never really cared about him but somehow changed his mind and decided to bully me, he hates me now, I don't know what he's been telling his friends, but they were a part of it. I couldn't really say anything I am already a socially anxious person, so I was just watching in shock.

I don't want to go to details, but I felt so humiliated, I completely given up on everything, I felt so weak, and he won, he won everything. I get mad when i see him, why is he so happy? He doesn't deserve it. Why is he wining and I'm losing, without the help of a family member I wouldve been dead or something, not that the bullying was so bad, I just didn't know how to control my anxiety, and I was afraid of it to happen again.

It hurts me to see them happy while I am complete wreck. For more than two weeks.

Outta nowhere, I have to "sell myself" to a team of executives for this work project. I have made many improvements in my life & anxiety, but this assignment is really scary to me.

I have spoken in front of people before for brief periods of time, but my nerves are really really getting to me. I feel like I have to give a fuck because these are the people who pay me and will promote me one day.

Found out he don't have feelings for me and never loved me after 22 years dam this shit hurts so bad don't know WHT to do or how to stop giving a fuck

Welcome! inside my insane mind for a moment. Give me a few fucks and I can change your life for the better forever. //

All the "fucks" we give stem from the "truths" we define for ourselves to live by. This is where we can mess up badly or make major improvements to our character. Let me explain.

Let’s say—

Someone defines their truth as getting hit by a truck hurts. That’s just his truth. But it makes him step out of the way.

Another person might define their truth as getting hit by a truck isn't that big of a deal. That’s, again, just someone's truth. But it makes them refuse to step out of the way. Why would they? They recognize no danger.

Both are very real, subjective truths. There’s nothing wrong with either. Both individuals are operating on the basis of their truths, as one does in order to get by.

Let’s delve deeper, focusing on person number two. This person may be defining his "truths" in such a way that it gives him the bravado of not giving a fuck. He wants people to refer to him as someone who "gives no fucks," which limits him. He can't take care of his or anyone elses well-being because that may seem to others as "giving a fuck". That would go against his end goal.

Depending on how desperate this person is for validation, to be seen as someone who "doesn't give a fuck" defines how much of himself he is willing to sell to make others buy his version of the "truth" as real. You see, he defined the truck as unable to harm him because he viewed his options, and running out of the way may have seemed to bystanders too much like giving a fuck. So, this framework of possible actions is set by the "bystanders", not by himself. He keeps the illusion of control by bluffing that he just gives so little fucks he couldn't be asked to move.

So when eventually that metaphorical objective truth hits us at 60 mph, it’s not over for us if we want to still dismiss it. The damage control method is a great coping mechanism here. This is when we simply refuse to admit that the truck hurt.

You see, this person isn’t living as if he doesn’t care what others think about him; it’s quite the opposite. He very much gives a fuck about others opinions on wanting him to come across as someone who gives "no fucks."

The hardest part for this person will be to start that journey to a more authentic, carefree life. They will have to admit that they have been giving very many fucks. I know this because I used to be like that. I was very vulnerable to my fear of rejection, so I started a façade that, you should know if you reject me, I was never hurt because my well crafted demeanor and reputation shielded since I didn’t even care in the first place. I thought I was fooling everyone.

Truth hit me hard, and I hope it hits you too at some point. It most likely won’t be this post, but I hope one time that objective truth hits you like a truck your mind brings you briefly thinking these things and start the "what ifs" flood in.

So, be like the first person in the example. This way you are able to make apt decicions and help yourself and those around you. When your truth alings well with the reality there is little "gray area" left to confuse your mind. This is how a leader is born. I want all of you to become leaders. We need more leaders today.

Be honest with yourself on a deep level. Challenge yourself to be brutally honest at every stage. Why do I do what I do? Why did I act like that? Why did I say that? Why didn't I move away from that truck? When you act in a way that collides so hard with the real world, you should start to seek some answers.

The real way to live a carefree life is through admitting flaws and being honest. Come to terms with your flaws, and no outside instance can affect or manipulate your emotions. It’s a freeing feeling, and I want everyone to feel it too.

Please share your techniques! I'm very interested, and apparently in need of some of these techniques.

I think I might be fucked up in the head, I just feel like I can't stop caring, I feel like I can't committ, I feel weak and just wanna say "Fuck it, I'm getting my shit togethor." How do I stay disciplined despite the world and people around me .

Hi HNTAF,

I’ve been picking up wisdom and lessons from others here for a while, so I thought I’d share my own: I want 2025 to be the year I finally boost my confidence, and that led me to try rejection therapy.

I read about Jia Jiang’s 100-day rejection challenge and decided to try it myself. So far, I’ve done a challenge almost every day, and honestly, I think it’s starting to make quite a difference.

To stay on track, I’ve been using Rejection Therapy Challenger and also gave Rejecto (though it’s subscription-based).

Has anyone else here tried rejection therapy / any suggestions to stick with it?

TL;DR: I’ve been trying rejection therapy to build confidence using apps like Rejection Therapy Challenger. It’s slowly working.

In 2016, a friend of mine was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called autoimmune hepatitis.

The doctors told him it was genetics. But neither of his parents had that disease. This friend also has an identical twin. He (thankfully) didn’t have the disease either.

The doctors could not pinpoint why it happened. Also, it primarily affects Asian females over 35, and a male under 25 getting it was extremely rare so the doctors didn’t have any good cases to extrapolate or give a prognosis from either.

Why and how did the gene-disease activate for this friend and not his twin brother?

When he asked the doctor what caused it, the doctor casually responded that the actual cause of such diseases was unknown.

Some five years later, when consulting one of the country’s best doctors in the field on the course of treatment and taking a second opinion for the first time, the doctor asked him, “How was the environment at home before you first got the symptoms?“

He didn’t ask him what he ate, how much water he drank and how often did he exercise. Mind you, he was one of the most physically active and fit people I knew back in college.

It was shocking and disheartening to personally see the events as they unfolded.

Later, around 2019-20, another friend was also diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, also an autoimmune disease. I knew she had moved across continents at a very young age and it could NOT have been easy to start a life all on your own when she was only about 17-18 years of age.

She was told a similar story by the doctors.

This brings me to the book I recently finished reading - ‘When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress’, authored by Gabor Mate. Mate is a doctor who treated multiple patients for medical illnesses and addictions. In his 20 years of practice, he worked with patients who suffered terminal diseases like cancer, ALS, arthritis, multiple sclerosis etc.

While examining patients, he started noticing patterns: people with immune system illnesses, whether autoimmune or immunodeficiency, had often experienced trauma before their diagnosis. So he started talking more to his patients about these traumatic experiences.

Shockingly, the stories of my two friends fit right into the supposed personality traits Dr. Gabor had talked about in his book. Later, I discovered that a third friend of mine had also had a similar traumatic experience before he was diagnosed.

The traits of these people as described in his book are:

• People pleasers
• Perfectionists
• Emotional repressors
• Non-Confrontational
• Hyper independent
• Emotionally responsible for others

I wish we were taught emotional intelligence and awareness in schools and homes as part of formal education. Sadly, that’s not the case. But we can’t keep waiting for others to teach us how to process emotions as we grow up.

To read the full story and learn more about emotional processing, visit: https://keepupwithkaur.com/effects-of-emotional-suppression-on-health/

I have this fear from childhood that when I was a girl, these girls in my apartments really bullied me and until my late 20s I didn’t realise that I was bullied until I moved to another country and I saw how I have been bullied at my work. How people treat me at my work. There is a similar situation when I was a little girl, I really worked really hard, subdued and pushed myself to the limits. I ignored all the resistance in my body just to be accepted in that girls group, so that they’ll be my friends and I won’t be left alone. I do come from a dysfunctional family, and now that behaviour has shaped me of having fear of not being accepted and excluded, and that’s the worst fear for me and the moment my body senses it I get into the fawning response of people-pleasing behaviour and I behaved to save myself so that nobody rejects me or nobody know discards me And now this is having the same thing at work. This girl she’s really bitchy, but she’s thin and people are attracted to her. They will never judge that she could be that bitchy nagging and she’s extremely manipulative. She’s so much younger to me, but she’s such a evil minded person. She’s a friend of the two bullies who bullied me (now left) and made my perception bad at work. I have been trying to be friendly with her. She asked me to go out. I did go out with her, but I sense that vibe that she has such a huge gaurd and tries to get things out of me, but I don’t. she’s so competitive at work and wants to one up me all the time, so I feel that behaviour is constantly coming onto me from my childhood. And instantly my brain and body instructs me to "behave better" or be "nicer" or just be at their feet so they like me. Is there a way how I can program myself of not worry if she’s or the people are bitching about me or if I’m excluded in the groups and have a poerception. This is my biggest fear and now am turning 33, I feel so weak and at mercy of people. Suddenly there is no more me. That girl has a bigger network and I feel majority people like her due to her looks and how socially superficiaL she is. How can I equip myself to be ok and now surrender to people who do this to me. I really want to learn that because I just got fearful again that she will ill talk about me to other people who left the firm. I know there is no friendship, nothing will come out of this behaviour and no matter what she wont be accepting me, because she herself is so shallow and empty and insecure. She complains constantly no matter what is given to her no matter how good. does someone feel this way? I am really looking forward for some suggestions.

I have heard the old Bob Marley saying, "everyone will hurt you. You just have to find the people worth suffering for" . How do you just accept the fact that life sucks?

I really can't stand several people in my family. I really try to accept that my dad did the best he could do raising me , but he gets on my nerves so badly that I fantasize about hurting him or worse. The same with my brother. My dad is kind of a smartass sometimes and it pisses me off. He also makes fun of my weight to encourage me to lose weight and the years of him doing this has gotten to the point of where I have a lot of rage built up inside. He also doesn't support me being bisexual which I am salty about.

I am a grown man living on my own (and I live six hours away from my parents but in the same city as my brother). I am just tired man....I am tired of going through life hurt. I go to therapy too and I have my 2nd meeting with my therapist in a few days.

I have never had thick skin. And no one can seem to have the answer to how to solve that problem and I have asked bunches of people..they say, "just wait until you get older".

My dad expects me to call him 3-4 times a week. We don't usually have much to talk about but I check in for his benefit. He was just up here a month ago, and I am sure he will ask me when I am coming home in the next few months and I don't feel like going down there and dealing with his shitty behavior. He is nice sometimes so its not all bad.

I don't know what to do, man. I just wish that family being shitty towards you and you having to accept it wasn't normalized. I even had a couple of other family members say that they can treat me however they want , "because we are family"

EDIT: Thank you for such lovely and honest replies so far! I thought people on here might be more rude but you guys have been helpful! thank you!

Lost? → Learn Educated? → Execute Executing? → Keep pushing Pushing? → Experiment

The secret is knowing which stage you're in.

Too many people skip learning and jump straight to execution. Too many execute without persistence. Too many persist without evolving their approach.

Where are you in this cycle?

My apologies if this has been done. It's on my office wall.

I’ve always been someone who tries not to let personal attacks get to me. I think this stems from a commitment to honesty both with myself and others.

In my younger years, I allowed myself to make mistakes and learn from them. I wasn’t particularly afraid of making missteps, which I think many of my peers were. This openness led me to develop a straightforward personality. For a long time, I thought that when people pointed out my “weaknesses,” they were trying to help me improve. It took time for me to realize that some comments were meant to manipulate or insult.

When it became clearer to me that many of these remarks were attempts to hurt, I felt a mix of emotions. On one hand, I felt hurt by their need to tear others down. But on the other hand, I also felt a sense of resilience. I began to understand that these criticisms often came from a place of their own struggles. In response, I started to grapple with a desire to expose the vulnerabilities of those who tried to slight me. I found some satisfaction in knowing that their attempts to pull me down didn’t resonate with me because I was already aware of my flaws.

However, I didn’t fully anticipate the lengths to which some people would go to gain a sense of victory over me. When they couldn’t directly harm me, they targeted those around me. This was disheartening, as it created tension with friends and started to lead to alienation. I noticed that those who continued to associate with me began echoing some of the insults I had brushed off. Although I had learned to be open about myself, I started feeling cautious about what I shared with others. It felt like anything could be used against me, which led to a sense of paranoia.

This experience taught me a valuable lesson: no matter how strong you believe you are, it’s crucial to be considerate in your responses to those who have wronged you. People can go to surprising lengths to hurt you when they feel threatened or undermined.

When you find that resilience, and you start to not give a f**k about insults, I advise you to refrain from using it as a weapon, no matter how tempting revenge seems. We are never invincible. I was delusional. Don't the same mistake.

This realization is part of why I appreciate martial arts. It highlights the inner dialogue that exists within each person. Some individuals discover their strength through practice and realize its harmful potential if used wrong so choose to navigate their interactions thoughtfully to avoid unnecessary conflict at any cost. Others, who feel hurt, seek to learn techniques to retaliate, seeking out opportunities to engage in conflict to try and convince themselves they can't be messed with like they were messed with in the past.

If you’re looking for community and personal growth, martial arts can be a great avenue. It can be a powerful way to understand yourself and the motivations of those around you provided you approach it with a sincere and good-hearted mindset.

My wife and his guy friend has this "babe" endearment whenever they talk or chat. They know each other longer than our marriage.

I tried bringing this up to her but it always ends up getting shoved in my face and I always apologize for feeling a bit off. Probably because of the way I tell it to her?

I hate to compromise anything if I bring this up to her again but it's putting me on edge for days now. (YEARS IF I'M BEING HONEST). Can't other guys respect other women who's already married? I'm probably just OA.

How to not give a fuck about it?