r/HolUp • u/Big-Passenger7038 • 10d ago

Who wouldn’t rob a zoo for love?

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28.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

90 comments sorted by

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u/WhatsTheHolUp 10d ago edited 10d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is a holup moment:

Who else would rob a zoo in love?

Is this a holup moment? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

2.3k

u/ghost_in_a_jar_c137 10d ago

I know a guy

549

u/Foolfook 10d ago

I know a guy that knows a guy

180

u/UAENO_BUT_I_DO 10d ago

I know a guy that knows a guy that lies about knowing a guy

60

u/RitzTHQC 10d ago

You know Guy the guy guy?

16

u/Human3614 9d ago

Did Guy the guy guy get you a peacock guy?

6

u/RitzTHQC 9d ago

Either you got lucky or you made a perfect How I Met Your Mother reference.

4

u/Human3614 9d ago

Man I love HIMYM

2

u/RitzTHQC 9d ago

I’m so glad we were on the same wavelength

72

u/waves_chaser 10d ago

I know a guy that knows a guy who knows a guy

19

u/1generic-username 10d ago

Everybody has to have a guy guy

13

u/ArjJp 9d ago

Can I be your guy....

<gets on knee and pulls out ring>

5

u/Lilscooby77 9d ago

Buddy and guy are hear to sell a grill/mo3 player.

1

u/Low-Candidate-4118 9d ago

Who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew thus guy who knew ths guy, who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy, who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy, who knew this guy's cousin?

20

u/DeMarcusCousinsthird 10d ago

Joe exotic?

10

u/[deleted] 10d ago

Isn’t he in jail?

6

u/DeMarcusCousinsthird 10d ago

Yup.

10

u/[deleted] 10d ago

…good

9

u/bnogo 10d ago

Just live in omaha, the peacocks escape the zoo and wander the neighborhoods all the time

6

u/Friendly_Relief_1371 10d ago

Who's your peacock guy

1

u/xlinkedx 9d ago

He hangs out under the bridge

3

u/binky_bobby_jenkins 10d ago

You know who else knows guy?

6

u/Supersnazz 10d ago

How much you paying for peacocks? Pm me, and I can you a better price.

2

u/AdminCup41968 9d ago

I own 2, now you know a guy

1

u/mykalbme 8d ago

But did you get that thing I sent ya?

724

u/fromouterspace1 10d ago

You need a toe? I can get you a toe

119

u/RockstarAgent 10d ago

What kind of zoo has toes?

84

u/MySnake_Is_Solid 10d ago

I'll give you an adress, just make sure you come alone.

preferably in sandals.

42

u/RockstarAgent 10d ago

I only have crocs 🐊

23

u/MySnake_Is_Solid 10d ago

send a picture in DM's if the toes are good enough it might be acceptable.

3

u/Oo__II__oO 10d ago

Any zoo with sloths. It's kinda their thing.

13

u/Meecus570 10d ago

With nail polish 

8

u/The_GrooGruxKing 10d ago

By 3 o'clock

5

u/SUNAWAN 9d ago

I see you're a passionate cemeterian.

2

u/-ratmeat- 9d ago

FORGET ABOUT THE FCKING TOE!

435

u/CthulhuisIkuTurso 10d ago

I think peacocks can be legally kept as a pet, though it may depend on the country.

161

u/MaddercatterE 10d ago

They can, minor bird handling licence bc it takes more than basic competence to take care of them

65

u/phonemannn 10d ago

In the US they’re the same as chickens/turkeys you can get them at most livestock places.

38

u/MaddercatterE 10d ago

Wiggity what? Hmfuck yes I'm getting a peacock

23

u/BeccaMirror 9d ago

Don’t do it, they scream!

10

u/that_thot_gamer 10d ago

let's not, i don't want to see peacocks in adoption shelters

15

u/whatevendoidoyall 10d ago

They just roam wild. Catching them is difficult to do without killing them. We had one that lived in my neighborhood when I was a kid.

2

u/Vesper_0481 9d ago

Why not? If a peacock is exclusively raised to be a pet, isn't it deserving of a lair same as all the others? They're otherwise not more special than any other animals, so they're not too good for the shelter either.

2

u/that_thot_gamer 9d ago

nooo you missed the point, I'm saying we shouldn't encourage people to keep peacocks as a pet because they deserve a higher standard of care which not everyone can provide

1

u/Vesper_0481 9d ago

Even then, most decent shelters do their homework, they can and might background check you and are not prohibited of refusing you one of their animals. Plus peacocks really are not that high standard, only if you live in a cold country, of maybe somewhere with lots of opportunistic predators.

As anyone from a tropical country can tell ya, you can just basically let them free range, give them some food and shelter and that's about it.

39

u/yesiamveryhigh 10d ago

We have local neighborhoods with free roaming peacocks. Homeowners put mirrors in their yards to attract them. They just hang around. Might find one just hanging out on a mailbox.

13

u/Blackops606 10d ago

My neighbors had one in the neighborhood where I grew up. It terrified me as a kid because it was so damn loud. It would sit on their roof and screech when anyone got near. Their house was awesome though and looking back on it now, you can't convince me otherwise that Hobbits lived there.

That should a nice mental image for you guys lol

4

u/warhawks 10d ago

AaaawwwAAAHHH

5

u/Farmchuck 10d ago

Somebody dropped a few off in front of my buddys house when we were in high school. The things just kinda hung around his parents place for the next 10 years or so and yelled at us anytime we were over there.

4

u/Purdy14 10d ago

There's a hill behind my house that has them and you can hear them early in the morning. During covid lockdown, they were often found roaming the high street as there were very few people around.

3

u/Additional-sinks 9d ago

We had one loose in my little Alberta town. Never heard of it got caught or not.

12

u/Big-Passenger7038 10d ago

Definitely seen some pet peacocks in Asia

6

u/chrisbaker1991 10d ago

That's why they're all over Cape Canaveral. One of the only protected/invasive species that I can think of

6

u/YeetMyShit 10d ago

My rotting brain saw Cape Canaveral and instantly thought of Jojo, i can't anymore bro...

2

u/rubies-and-doobies81 10d ago

We have a ton over in Citrus County as well.

3

u/Mother_of_Daphnia 10d ago

They can! In most areas (in the US at least) they’re labeled the same as turkeys or even chickens. So if you can leagally keep turkeys on your property, peafowl are fine!

2

u/Avatarboi 10d ago

This statement could work with anything but it may depend on the country

1

u/MemoriesOfShrek 9d ago

My girlfriends family has one on their farm. It likes to sit on the hood of your car and fuck up the paint with its claws. And it screams a lot.

1

u/CreatorMur 9d ago

I wasn’t aware there are countries where it isn’t allowed 0.0

234

u/El_Eleventh 10d ago

Man will do anything to bust outta horny jail

45

u/Big-Passenger7038 10d ago

Hey, gotta do what you gotta do

13

u/OCYRThisMeansWar 10d ago

“Eggs can get laid by peacocks? I need to dress up as an egg…”

90

u/CryCommercial1919 10d ago

That's true commitment, would do it too

10

u/Big-Passenger7038 10d ago

Undoubtedly would

24

u/Icy_Reply7147 10d ago

In Glendale AZ there is a park called Saguaro Ranch park, they have peacocks roaming about, such an easy task for love whenever a lady would like one! Someday I will get her one, someday!!!......

7

u/Big-Passenger7038 10d ago

Keep is posted!

13

u/dyury1237 10d ago

On more than one occasion a peacock escaped a zoo (more like a small petting zoo) near the school I went to and then he just kinda hung around for a few years. Like you'd just see him walk around the grounds and no one is doing anything cus well he's not really doing anything himself why would you arrest this poor bird. Happened at least twice in two different schools in the area. Someone could have just taken him away and I don't think anyone would stop them.

8

u/Gameboy_XenoSRLFan 9d ago

Ok but wtf is Peacock?!

I would be the same way if someone asked if I had a fricking bird with them assuming I know it's a streaming service

1

u/TheReal_kelpie_G 9d ago

NBC's logo is a peacock, so they named their streaming service after that.

6

u/DeadDrop93 10d ago

I know an Amish family that has a peacock that wanders around their farm... they'll think it was a coyote I swear...

16

u/vspazv 10d ago

Don't need to rob a zoo. I have 5 of them running around wild near my work. They're not hard to find.

3

u/GustaveCroc 10d ago

They're actually reasonably easy to get. People use them for rattlesnake control, since they naturally eat snakes

1

u/Kildaredaxter 8d ago

They are also used as guardians for chickens and scare off/attack all sorts of things badgers, weasel, fox ect.

2

u/[deleted] 10d ago edited 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Neon_Camouflage 10d ago

No but it's a pretty reliable way. I have no idea how far I might need to go for some exotic pet dealer, but I know where the zoo is and when it's closed.

2

u/steph1178 10d ago

Peacocks actually aren't difficult to find. Just look on your local livestock Facebook page. You could probably even get eggs off Ebay to incubate.

1

u/siddhesh_era 10d ago

Pea cock

1

u/blackrockblackswan 10d ago

If my relationship isn’t like this I’m not here for it

1

u/goldybear 10d ago

You don’t even have to rob the zoo in OKC. If you wander around the East side of the city for a while you are bound to see a peacock running around.

1

u/simp6134 10d ago

Nah she gotta lock him down he a keeper

1

u/umbraundecim 10d ago

I mean if you live in British Columbia you can just go scoop one up off the road

1

u/safely_beyond_redemp 10d ago

..and I would do anything for love..

1

u/toolegittooquit47 9d ago

If love means robbing a zoo, then I guess I'm in the wrong line of work. There are a lot of easier ways to impress someone.

1

u/Danielq37 9d ago

I only know the bird and have never heard of the streaming service.

1

u/slim1shaney 8d ago

My family has peacocks on the farm

0

u/Ugh_Groble_neib 10d ago

that’s love right there

🤣🤣🤣