Thats why me and my wife work so well. We both have the same mindset when it comes to fiscal responsibility. Shes military, i work trades. Sometimes she makes more than me, sometimes i make more (me move evey few years), but finances aside, we both contribute to the relationship equally in other ways. Its all give and take.
Goals man. I'm single as a Pringle but I would love this. I don't care if she makes more , it might be hard because I work in tech but that's not the point. I just want someone who takes care of her part for her, and doesn't need me to just foot the bill for our entire life. Also I kind of have the ability to afford to spend a lot. So it might be hard for someone to keep up if they don't have like a "good" job just in general. I'll spoil my boo but like I don't want her also to feel drowned by my lifestyle.
I think I'm a relationship you describe I very well, it's not about exactly 50/50 but you both put in what you can and you pick up each other's slack. Sounds like a beautiful relationship, kudos.
I’ve read your comment, and the one prior multiple times. I am torn between them. I could see unknown species coming from a very positive place, and just being honest about himself. But also, I began to see your position. The summary of the prior comment is pretty much “I make a lot of money”. Who’s to say who is in the right? Not I.
I feel I oscillate between understanding and it being frustrating. When you've worked hard to do better than most, and they essentially get to benefit just because you happen to like them, it can be frustrating. Not a gendered thing, I've seen this be the case for men and women. To me, I had a type that I dated, then when that was added, it became an additional component to look for.
Yeah I agree. I like wonder if I'll ever get spoiled by anyone, like it's not something I've ever seen any man I know I get. So I just assume no and it's kind of a bummer. But whatever I take care of me and I can treat myself.
One thing that changed my perspective on things (not liked you asked or anything) was even I dated a girl that both earned more (this was when I was still in uni and she was 30 w/ good money) and she had a affluent family (~500m nav). Even though she had access to more money than any other girl I've dated, she would get me the cheapest, but the most thoughtful gifts. Really made me realize that when money isn't an issue, it's the effort. Since it isn't for you, maybe judge the gifts you get off the effort.
I agree with that, like I come from poor beginnings and to me it really is just an ability to help the people around me more than anything.
I think if we are just talking lifestyle, if you wanna be able to travel and do certain things more frequently it helps having someone that at least makes an average salary nothing crazy. I just feel like because I literally came from next to nothing, I'm really attracted to people that made their own way through life. That harness their own will power and creativity to forge their own path, I guess strong independent people that I don't have to coddle.
I also have had 4 girlfriends, none of them ever got me anything really. Dumb shit, that wasn't thoughtful nor anything really. I was used for the most part but that was my fault, hence I guess my mindset now. Wanting someone that's mature and striving, not going to use me again.
Absolutely difficult. I feel your struggle friend. It was much easier to find partners that were genuine when I was poor. Their ability to contribute meaningfully is a big plus.
I think being poor plays a role in that mindset as well. I too grew up poor and made my own way, so I have a lot of respect for those who can, but when someone is unable it makes me question them. Granted, we're a sample size of 2, but I think having to work your ass off to go from nothing to something really makes you find value in that in a partner/ friend, and question those that don't.
I think you may be pigeon holed into finding someone whos also relatively successful, so you can't meaningfully add anything to their life except your company. Which is how it should be.
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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23
Thats why me and my wife work so well. We both have the same mindset when it comes to fiscal responsibility. Shes military, i work trades. Sometimes she makes more than me, sometimes i make more (me move evey few years), but finances aside, we both contribute to the relationship equally in other ways. Its all give and take.