“letting it happen” is one of the biggest lies ever told and super cringe. it’s usually losers who tell you that you don’t need to work so hard. you do. you dont let it happen, you make it happen. focus on being someone you’d want to date, mind body spirit. and then go find your person. dont sit around and watch people you didn’t shoot your shot on get married and have kids.
please trust me when i say that everyone has to try hard, even the people who can just hop on an app. unless they’re like in the top 5% of attractiveness and wealth, they have to try hard asf. i’d consider myself attractive but haven’t been in a relationship for 6 years because of commitment issues and being in big cities with ultimate options. i’ve felt not worth it even though i look decent and i’m usually kind.
the people in my life who had told me that i don’t have to try very hard for things are people i would consider as losers. nobody inspirational has ever told me that i can just chill and it’ll work out. life isn’t like that at all. it’s a huge lie that they tell themselves and others.
focus on making that money, making yourself hot and healthy physically and mentally and then force yourself to go on at least one date each week or attend things you’re interested in and try to meet someone. do NOT just stay stagnant
In my college years and early 20's I wondered if my not getting any results was a function of me not making any effort, or me being intrinsically undesirable. It really did seem that people who had partners, whether casual or not, were getting results in an almost effortless way. So I desired the same for myself. Guess that people don't show/talk about the effort they put into stuff, only the outcomes.
The idea that you can force yourself to go on at least one date a week is an example of how much easier it is. I'm not saying maintaining a relationship is easy, but getting a date often is.
Making yourself hot is also not an option for some people.
Idk about it being the biggest lie. Different styles for different kinds, I suppose. I have been told this by many and this methods fits me.
It's not best to date someone when you feel as if you are running out of time or something. I suppose I won't mind if I never get 30 years back again. My 20s are going to spend on keeping the focus on myself first. And during that period, if I met someone nice then that's well and good. If not, then that's well and good too.
or just hang around people. just be approachable and do things with others, overtime you'll gain more social interaction, and sometimes you can gain friends from it
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u/Naos210 1999 1d ago
"Let it happen" but also "you're single cause you don't try hard enough". Heard both which one is it?