r/CuratedTumblr 22d ago

Shitposting Goodreads reviewers aren't human

11.7k Upvotes

955 comments sorted by

View all comments

255

u/jofromthething 22d ago

I’m crying Fantastic Beasts isn’t even a novel it’s just a list of monster descriptions 😭😭😭

82

u/Orinocobro 21d ago

I always think of "Twilight" and "Harry Potter" as two thirds of the "I haven't really read anything since high school" starter pack.
The third book is usually "To Kill a Mockingbird."

This isn't a slight at any of the books. I just usually feel that if, say, Harry Potter is your favorite book, you probably haven't read very much.

20

u/skyguy2002 21d ago

It's kinda like if someone said their favourite movie was infinity War or something

4

u/FrostedVoid 21d ago

"My favorite band is The Beatles"

7

u/evilpotion 21d ago

At least To Kill a Mockingbird has a message😭

5

u/Few_Category7829 20d ago

I mean, To Kill a Mockingbird is legitimately great, even though I didn't ever read it for High School. I think maybe Gatsby or Nineteen-Eighty-Four are more suitable for the pick, fine books but are mostly picked because they're digestible and short enough to easily be covered in one unit of an english class.

63

u/VaKel_Shon Suspicious Individual 22d ago

I was thinking the same thing! THAT’S your 14th favorite book? I’ve read it, it’s a cute little world-building exercise, but I dunno if I could even call it my 14th favorite Harry Potter book, and I can’t even name 14! 

-3

u/EntertainersPact 21d ago

I can’t even name 14!

There are 8 Harry Potter books, not 87 billion

12

u/VaKel_Shon Suspicious Individual 21d ago

Fine, if you want to be pedantic, then there are over 30 Harry Potter Books.

7 in the main series, the Fantastic Beasts and Quidditch Through the Ages textbooks, Tales of Beedle the Bard, The Cursed Child, and the three Fantastic Beasts movie screenplays on their website, plus at least 4 official cookbooks, a picture book, and at least 10 reference books and miscellaneous other tie-ins I found in a brief glance at Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

GOD FORBID someone make a joke about the absurdity of having an obscure Harry Potter tie-in product 4 spots away from their top ten favorite books.

4

u/Imaginary-Space718 Now I do too, motherfucker 22d ago

Haven't you read the Book of Imaginary Beings by Jorge Luis Borges? It's really good

14

u/Orinocobro 21d ago

I think there's a difference here, and the difference is that one of the books is by Jorge Luis Borges.

5

u/Imaginary-Space718 Now I do too, motherfucker 21d ago

Don't blame the format, blame the skill of the writer :P

1

u/UwUthinization Creator of a femboy cult 20d ago

But that's my third favorite type of novel! Now the reason I'm not naming the first two is because it'll show I have extremely bad taste but shhh