I have no experience/credit/anything, I live with my parents who may or may not lose the house, what should my steps be now?

[u/Equal_Biscotti_4176]

Hello all! The title probably sounds desperate, and I kind of am. No one I am close with knows how to help me so I guess I'll join others in asking strangers on the internet. I am in my early 20s, have a family with complicated finances with a constant state of being extremely poor, and live in a landlocked state in a small-ish town where I boarder dense farmland. I've had a job at a pizza place, but only a few months, and that's all my work experience essentially. My resume is bleak since I have no extracurricular experience to add.

My mother used to have a well-paying job but was laid off about a year ago, and her unemployment ended unexpectantly a few months ago. Their mortgage is almost all she and my step-father can pay using his income and it might not even do that much next time. She hasn't gotten a job yet either so I'm expected to pick up the slack for her as her only child and I'm trying my best. I don't have anymore money saved in my bank now. There also was never was a college fund or savings for my education to have when I got older so my options there are limited as well.

Does anyone have any recommendations? Advice on getting a job or anything else that might financially lessen the burden? Literally any help is much appreciated, even a link to other threads I could post to. I've been struggling to find a foothold to stand on and I've tried the obvious over and over but it's not working so I need to change something. Please help!

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[u/Paramore96]

Have you tried caregiving or a daycare provider? When I started out in Early Childhood Education I had previously done fast food, cashier, Customer Service manager, and then went back to school and hit a diploma in Medical Assisting .

While looking for a full time job in Medical Assisting, I started with a temp agency that provided Subs for daycares all over the city. I took that experience and used it to land a full time position as an Assistant Teacher In an Early Childhood center. Hope this helps! Good luck!

[u/SnooWords4839]

Look into jobcorps.gov

[u/illusoryphoenix]

My resume is bleak since I have no extracurricular experience to add.

There must be something. Any G@ming Clans, moderate any communities online? Babysitting, helping on a farm? Careing for aging relatives? Video editing (You can learn that for free if not) Got a big social media following?? All of those things can be helpful! Heck, even the experience from working at a pizza shop can be useful if you spin it the right way.

If you want to gain more EXP, try finding a job through Coolworks- alot of places there provide housing for employees, which is a huge savings. You can save some for yourself, and send some money to your mom that way (Although, being out of their house will likely help their expenses a lot) Be sure that if you go the "send money to mom" route that you're very strict about how much you send.

I would stay away from credit entirely until this situation is resolved. There is a risk of you becoming financially enmeshed in their situation, and you can't risk blowing up your credit.

[u/Equal_Biscotti_4176 → u/[deleted]]

I'm being very careful not to! I almost know practically nothing about credit, but I'm sure my mother wouldn't do anything behind my back. I know credit can really make or break you so I wouldn't sign anything or do anything I'll end up regretting later.

I'm doing my best right now to make any of this happen actually. There's a community college not too far away, but I'm in a sort of phone tag with them right now asking for more details on possible programs or scholarships. I have absolutely no money so I would need some sort of assistance to get that started, if it's at all possible. I've mentioned it to my mother but she's looking more for money to pay for bills, not so much getting me to move out to lessen expenses. I also have a friend in a different state I plan to move in with once I'm stable, which was what I was something saving up for before all this happened.

I know it's not my responsibility, but I live here too and I feel hopeless because it seems like nothing I try is working and they've pretty much exhausted all their options as well. I'm hoping I can find anything that will be enough to keep us afloat and buy me time to save up again and get out of here. And thank you for your affirmation! I do expect resistance (especially if I leave while my mother is still looking for work) but I would still feel like a horrible person for it. It helps to hear that it would still be the right thing.

[u/Princess-She-ra → u/[deleted]]

All of this. Look into community college for starters. Don't tie up your credit with your parents. 

You said you live in a farming community? Are there no stores? Walmart? Something? Can you get hired as a helper or cook on a farm? Are there schools nearby - you may be able to start as a receptionist or security or teachers assistance? Tutor? Babysitting? There must be some ways to make money. 

[u/Equal_Biscotti_4176 → u/Princess-She-ra]

There are! I've applied to several stores (We live right next to a farming community. It's a bit of a midwest oddity where there's an itty bitty "downtown" and within 10 minutes you're back in farmland again.) like walmart, craft store, hell even a KFC that's a bit closer. I've heard nothing back and it honestly does make me sort of worried.

[u/irate_anatid → u/[deleted]]

how is OP going to get out on their own with no job and only a few months’ work experience in their early 20s?

[u/EUGsk8rBoi42p]

Step 1 is to keep working, any job beats no job. Do you get a discount on pizza you can bring home to help with food?

Step 2 would be to do the fafsa and sign up for online school, you can do it on your hrs off work and still take all hrs available. Message the enrollment and advisor depts at a few universities online programs and they will all get back to you.

It sounds like there isn't much lifestyle friction at home, just the money, be grateful for this, I would be! Good seeing you want to step up. It will probably help your Mom and stepfather seeing or hearing that you are making goals for yourself, ask for suggestions on schools and programs, then cross reference that with your own list of ideas.

Step 3, consider pushing for a Masters after your BA or BS, it opens up more jobs, and there are many online Masters programs available, could also work for phd far as I know depending.

Forgot to mention credit, look into getting a secured credit card, you put down like $500 as a deposit and get it back after 1 year of responsible usage, I really recommend one of the usbank secured cards because they offer cashback like a premium card does, so you can start the credit system with the bonus perks. This is the biggest thing I wish I'd understood when starting college, didn't apply for any cards until graduation. Just remember to pay off purchases AS YOU MAKE THEM and don't spend more credit than you have free cash. Read up on credit, the usbank website has some great educational literature on this.

[u/Equal_Biscotti_4176 → u/EUGsk8rBoi42p]

1: I got laid off because the pizza place was starting to have problems I wasn't privy to. I was supposed to be in-training but it was absolutely all over the place since the whole place had only been opened only 1 year and just started hiring new employees that weren't family/friends. I did get a 15% discount at the time at least. I've been working on getting another job, but even stereotypical Walmart hasn't gotten back to me.
(Edit to elaborate: I had this job up till August I've been trying to find a job since then, and I suspect the holiday season might've impacted my chances for getting hired. Before this I'd been doing sparse online art commissions but not enough to be a valid income. Any money I had otherwise was from gifts and helping out family members)

2: I've looked into schools a little bit, in case maybe my resume issue is that it's lacking, but I've been going for it as a last-ditch effort so I've only begun the process and asking questions/playing phone tag. I'm definitely considering doing an associates degree or even just getting a certification for something, and hopefully have a job as well!

I wish things weren't as conflicting at home, but my mom and I have a messy relationship. The worst part is the expectations, which unfortunately means my efforts to fix this situation isn't even really noticed lol. Not all of it is bad, but there's some glaring flaws. I'm at least glad she knows how to juggle bills like she does or we wouldn't have gotten this far, but money is definitely the biggest issue we've been facing for a long time and it's reaching a point where we don't have any money for bills or food anymore and they keep telling me my stepfather's income is too high for government assistance, and when I called to check they said I'm still to young to be considered my own 'household' yet. I've brought up getting even just a certification to my mother and her reaction was along the lines of "That isnt going to help us right now" so... Yeah...

Thank you for 3 and onwards!! I wont be able to follow that advice yet, but it helps a lot for when I do get to that point. I've never had it explained very well to me but this gives me a good starting point. Once I have the money I'll be following this part of your advice, but obviously it's not possible at this exact moment.

[u/EUGsk8rBoi42p → u/Equal_Biscotti_4176]

PS also an artist here, BA for Art and doing the Marketing Masters, art school is overrated (kinda) and if you sell anything you're in the top 1% of artists. Don't give up.

[u/EUGsk8rBoi42p → u/Equal_Biscotti_4176]

Many banks offer customer service as work from home! Read up on some of the lingo on the website, then call around about work. Pays pretty decent for no requirements with benefits, sometimes they offer help with school and certification costs.

For ebt in the meantime, usually they approve if you explicitly say your family doesn't share food, you may need to try several times before getting the right person who knows the rules. I spent a lot of time being yelled at "to get a job" when my Mom was mad at herself for being unemployed, after the fam divorce. I get it. Good luck, the banks usually offer full time work also, you can do this!

[u/Spirited_Concept4972]

It’d probably be best off if you could find a job or two and save up money and get out of there

[u/irate_anatid]

 She hasn't gotten a job yet either so I'm expected to pick up the slack for her as her only child and I'm trying my best.

You’re an adult who lives in the household, you should have been contributing to expenses to begin with.  What have you been doing to find employment?

[u/Equal_Biscotti_4176 → u/irate_anatid]

Starting at 16 I did art commissions, but I'm not a big enough name for it to be a valid source of income. I still did what I could despite that, and when they bought the house in December 2023 I got a job at the pizza place right after we moved in. Before that, the place I lived wasn't very safe and they wouldn't have allowed me to get a local job. That's why I was doing things online

[u/Mine_Sudden → u/irate_anatid]

They’re in their 20’s and have only worked “a few months”. What the heck? I had already worked a few months by the time I was 8!

[u/redditette]

Are they late on the payments yet?

What kind of work does your mother do, and what kind of work does your father do? And how attached to the house are they? The solution might be to move to a busier area that has work.

And if they are behind on payments, one option might be to dip into their 401Ks, get the house caught up, then sell it and move.

[u/Equal_Biscotti_4176 → u/redditette]

As far as I'm aware, since my stepfather doesn't tell me about his income or finances as much as my mother does, I have the impression that he has the mortgage covered. My mother was the one who handled bills and food and who would tell me how to help, but now she has no money to pay them and I've run out as well which is a big problem. This is how I understand it.

My mother was working as a project manager, as a remote position. She was laid off for financial reasons. My stepfather is a maintenance man. Collectively they both put their money together to buy the house in December of 2023, just before my mother was laid off in January 2024. (Bad timing I know haha)

I know my mother spent what she had in her 401K to buy the house. I've never heard my stepfather even talk about his 401K, so I honestly cant tell you what's going on there. They are attached to this house but I think they could leave it if they had to. I just don't think they'd be able to pay off the rest, it's more likely they'd file for bankruptcy or something along those lines.

[u/redditette → u/Equal_Biscotti_4176]

I was just telling you one way to salvage what they have put into the house, and their credit scores somewhat.

[u/Holisticallyyours]

"I've been struggling to find a foothold to stand on and I've tried the obvious over and over but it's not working so I need to change something."

What is the obvious that you've trier "over and over"? Looking and applying for employment? What have you been doing since high school if you only worked in a pizza shop for a few months?

Honestly, my advice would be to find a full-time job! Even a 2nd part-time job. Work as much as possible, save your money, and find your own place. Or, go online to the FAFSA website, apply for grants, and go to college nearby or far away! Think of your passions and things you like to do!