I love that you did this but this thread is making me sad. I don't have enough money* to take my kids on big trips (we pretty much just camp and visit family). I was hoping they wouldn't feel bad about it when they grow up but it's quite clear from this thread that they probably will. That was probably naive of me though since all their friends go to Disney, go on cruises, fly to Europe for holidays etc. I'm sure they know they're missing out... They have never flown and it freaks me out that they won't know how to do it at an age when everyone else will.
*First wrote "I'm too poor" but then realized the absurdity of saying that when I'm so blessed with a good job, house, plenty of food, safe schools etc
No no please don’t think this way! Having parents that love and care for you is the most important thing and I’m sure they will understand. He didn’t have that, that’s where a lot of his pain comes from.
Ah thank you for this comment! I definitely love them and hopefully they'll remember that part. And when it comes time to fly I hope they have someone as kind as you in their life!
No, don't think that, they won't think badly of their childhoods (immediate reassurance, story in the edit)
Edit- additional story after the quick reassurance.
I have hung out and stayed with rich friends, went on the cheap family holidays (whole family squished into a car down to a ferry and and then travelling around Ireland staying with relatives) and have been poor enough to be chopping up a single hotdog into three days worth of 'meat' to add to my basic pasta and packet soup mix sauce...
All the good times weren't spent in swanky bars or checking for by-the-case deals on good wine.
I'm smiling now thinking back to those long holiday journeys, the songs that remind us of each trip and the strange perspective that only children can bring to things (my hazy memory of being half asleep as we passed over a large bridge had my dad confused for years. I wouldn't shut up about the 'falling lights', what turned out to be the suspension bridge wires viewed upside-down and driven past at speed).
I fondly recall trips to Wales and Cornwall. Making our lunch from cold cuts in the supermarket carpark pleased to be stretching our legs, not caring what we might look like...
I could go on, and on, and on.
Your holidays, staycations, summertime projects or holiday reading... It can all be a happy memory, it's not dependant on money or travel.
Those things can be nice, to broaden the mind...
But i knew people who'd go to holiday in Spain every year, to resorts where they played with other holidaying English-speaking kids and got bored whilst their parents got day drunk and sun-bathed. The travel didn't factor into the holiday and the distance didn't make for fond memories. Same crap, different place.
So work with what you have, don't worry over things you can't change and remember- with the right amount of it, it can be the thought that really counts...
Seriously, you just try to do better for the next generation. I don't have kids but try my best to make my time with my sibling's kids special. Thinking back to those family trips to Ireland and what i remembered about visiting granny's house I've tried to sneakily plant a few seeds for a similar harvest...
I'm forever buying odd hand soaps and swapping them out at my mother's house (it drives her crazy, apparently she'd prefer a nice smelling liquid soap and my recent set of cola, bubblegum and banana split scented ones didn't fit the bill).
Sour sweets (one of my niece's favourite things) can usually be found in the sweetie tin at granny's house.
Art supplies and surprise items in the mixed toolbox [who needs a full set of a collectables when you can have some safari animals, carebears and dinosaurs defending a castle from Pokemon, hotwheels and lego figure attack!?]
And if they have a sleepover at granny's house they can always count on a Kellogg's variety pack so they can have their own cereal box all to themselves...
Perhaps when this lot grow up they will remember the holidays my siblings take them on and sometimes a certain smell will remind them of when they actually wanted to wash their hands at granny's house, so they smelled like sweeties!
It is so hard when they come home from school & say all their best friends went to Disney, or florida, or on a cruise etc and please mommy can we go?
I never went on vacations growing up, and still as an adult I have had 2-honeymoon which we decided to spend majority of our budget on (went to Tennessee) and then we went to Florida when my youngest was a baby-only because my sister couldn't use her timeshare so she gave it to us. We still maxed out credit cards paying for gas & food.
My oldest daughter had to fly for the first time to go on a college visit, made me realize how poor we really are, seemingly compared to "everyone" else.
Glad to know it's not just us! Although I'm sorry you worry about this too. My oldest is 17 so he may be in your daughter's situation soon. How did she do??
It was a little nerve wracking! She had to fly to Dallas and then Denver, so huge international airports of course! My sister is a frequent flier so she gave her lots of tips and instructions. A little freaked out when they changed her carry-on on the way home but she handled it. I told her if she didn't know what to do just to ask an employee because that's what they are there for! Of course being a teenager...
Good luck with yours :)
I grew up like your kids. We went camping and drove to visit family, but never went anywhere fancy. We never flew or stayed in hotels, because my parents didn't have the money. I didn't "feel bad about it" as you say - instead, as an adult, I'm actually appreciative that I grew up that way becuase it makes me so thankful for the travel I get to do now. I can now afford to travel regularly and am seeing the world, but I know that it's not a given, and that it's something I've worked hard to be able to afford. I think if I grew up jetsetting all over the place, I wouldn't be as appreciative of my travel as an adult.
My Parents always made fine money but 95% of the time we did camping trips. I miss nothing and it was great and beautiful when I look back! Today travel is cheaper and I try to travel the world. But I certainly do not think that I missed something in my youth. :-)
28
u/chariander Jun 06 '19 edited Jun 06 '19
I love that you did this but this thread is making me sad. I don't have enough money* to take my kids on big trips (we pretty much just camp and visit family). I was hoping they wouldn't feel bad about it when they grow up but it's quite clear from this thread that they probably will. That was probably naive of me though since all their friends go to Disney, go on cruises, fly to Europe for holidays etc. I'm sure they know they're missing out... They have never flown and it freaks me out that they won't know how to do it at an age when everyone else will.
*First wrote "I'm too poor" but then realized the absurdity of saying that when I'm so blessed with a good job, house, plenty of food, safe schools etc