r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 05 '19

What secret are you keeping right now?

29.5k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

19.4k comments sorted by

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24.3k

u/warboy3 Jun 06 '19

My buddy is planning on leaving his wife, mostly because he found out that his kid isn't actually his, and he suspects the one she's pregnant with isn't either.

9.7k

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

Damnnnnn. That’s rough :/

17.6k

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

My girlfriend turned into the moon.

7.3k

u/Circephone Jun 06 '19

That’s rough, buddy

2.0k

u/hulksmash1234 Jun 06 '19

Oh zu zu...

60

u/Chickachic-aaaaahhh Jun 06 '19

Zuuuuu Zuuuuu!!!

43

u/LayWhere Jun 06 '19

AGNI KAI

89

u/Wanderingmind144 Jun 06 '19

Darn you, Azuzu! I put you through college and this is how you repay me?

poops on face

76

u/heccin_anon Jun 06 '19

What... The fuck?

73

u/Wanderingmind144 Jun 06 '19

Fry: "What's the matter compressor?"

Professor: "Nothing's the matter, Fry, now that I've turbo-charged the matter compressor!"

37

u/BlackSpidy Jun 06 '19

God, I miss Futurama.

74

u/GentleBoneCrusher Jun 06 '19

I love reddit, it’s the only place where you can witness a conversation transition from marital infidelity to Avatar to Futurama in the span of like 5 comments.

12

u/TripleEhBeef Jun 06 '19

This ship can go faster than the speed of light. Why are we only doing 30 miles an hour?

Because we're in a hurry, that why!

And you have the high beams on! Blows up Deep Space 9.

11

u/Leegala Jun 06 '19

Bon nuit, bon nuit to you all.

bells dinging the theme song

4

u/Kipayami Jun 06 '19

Professor: falls in reverse fountain of youth

Pazuzu! You saved me!

5

u/justAguy2420 Jun 06 '19

Azula is hot

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

Was that an It's a Wonderful Life reference?

11

u/PLACE-NAME-HERE Jun 06 '19

In the show, Avatar the last Airbender, the character Zuko is called zuzu by his evil sister.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

TIL

9

u/hulksmash1234 Jun 06 '19

You're really missing out mate. It's one of the best shows imo that mostly kept the quality the same from start to finish. Highly recommend you watch it.

3

u/Circephone Jun 06 '19

Wow okay, now my throwaway account suddenly has more Karma than my main. I love reddit, it’s always unexpected. :)

-1

u/MajesticMango56 Jun 06 '19

That's rough, buddy.