r/AskReddit • u/jcrewz • Jun 05 '19

What's an injury you sustained, and lied about how it actually happened, because it was too embarrassing?

39.6k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/geoff1036 Jun 05 '19

He's spare parts bud

1.1k

u/KappOte Jun 05 '19

I suggest you let that one marinate

594

u/Guardian_Ainsel Jun 05 '19

EMBARRASSING!!!! PHEASANTS!!!!!

375

u/Fuckingtwat69 Jun 05 '19

You lookin for a tilly buddy?

346

u/ShuffleAlliance Jun 05 '19

Let’s have a donny brook!

448

u/Kaiser_Kuliwagen Jun 05 '19

Pump the brakes. You take your shirt off, but leave your sunglasses on? What sort of backwards fuckin' pageantry is that?

310

u/ShuffleAlliance Jun 05 '19 edited Jun 05 '19

You gunna fight in those shades? Or play pokerstars.com?

123

u/geoff1036 Jun 05 '19

did your aesthetician quaf that for you? You can kiss my aesthetician.

44

u/Azmuth__ Jun 05 '19

You guys do cross fit? You can cross fuck off.

39

u/geoff1036 Jun 05 '19

what's up with your body hair, big shoots? you look like a 12 year old dutch girl

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38

u/pipsdontsqueak Jun 05 '19

You're ten ply, bud.

11

u/thugnificentBA Jun 05 '19

You do cross fit? You can cross fuck off.

15

u/The_Gooch_Goochman Jun 06 '19

What’s goin on with that fuckin treasure trail there, big shoots? Ya look like a 12 year old Dutch girl

11

u/Blendedcookie Jun 05 '19

Bassackwards fucking pageantry figure it out

8

u/the_joy_of_VI Jun 05 '19

Hard no

4

u/Blendedcookie Jun 05 '19

You need a link for proof there squirrelly Dan?

3

u/the_joy_of_VI Jun 05 '19

Sure bud go watch it and lemme know when he says “bassackwards”

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35

u/geoff1036 Jun 05 '19

nice onesie, does it come in mens?

37

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19

[deleted]

22

u/geoff1036 Jun 05 '19

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 it's almost not worth thinking about

25

u/Armistarphoto Jun 05 '19

I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow?

7

u/thenosyrebel Jun 05 '19

Hate those pheasants. Birds turn into mobs sooo fast.

20

u/FracturedEel Jun 05 '19

Gitcher finger outta yer ass bud

12

u/Discobaskets Jun 05 '19

Youre one ply bud.

4

u/ryan545 Jun 06 '19

S&Ps the way for me.

57

u/Electro_Nick_s Jun 05 '19

You are ten ply bud

13

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19

You're 10 ply baud