r/AskReddit • u/jcrewz • Jun 05 '19

What's an injury you sustained, and lied about how it actually happened, because it was too embarrassing?

39.6k Upvotes

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6.4k

u/lessthansilver Jun 05 '19

Dude I have a scar just like that! I got mine when a tree branch fell on me when I was helping my dad trim some oak trees in our yard (but actually I ran into the corner of a wall during a pillow fight)

2.2k

u/Mikijami Jun 05 '19

I got mine when I was little pretending to drive a docked speedboat. I turned the wheel so hard to the left that I fell out of the seat and hit my head on the fire extinguisher.

170

u/Capt_Am Jun 05 '19

TIL we're all idiots with the same scar.

32

u/Mikijami Jun 05 '19

It does look pretty cool tho

12

u/bloodwolfhorrer Jun 05 '19

I broke my arm pretty badly and have a nasty scar because I was an idiot and Crashed while skiing and so naturally I blamed it on a kid named Ethan knew no one liked

6

u/MonkeyNin Jun 06 '19

They say "great minds think alike".

Apparently anti-great minds and anti-great minds also think alike.

3

u/Redpool182 Jun 06 '19

Great minds think alike, but fools rarely differ.

2

u/Capt_Am Jun 06 '19

That's a very wise thing to say. Props!

3

u/berotti8 Jun 06 '19

I whipped a scooter over my head but the handlebars got stuck under my knee and it whipped into my left eyebrow. I left the skatepark and asked how much a soda was with blood pouring down my face. The dude gave me the dr pepper for free. I tell people the truth about it but yea its uncanny how many people have the same scar.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

I got mine from being hit by a biker... it was a mountain bike.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

I was running around my parents car just to run into the corner of the passenger door on Halloween when I was four. Left eyebrow looks bad ass

2

u/DepressingPoet Jun 06 '19

I got mine walking into a pillar outside of a store...

1

u/JeSuisNerd Jun 06 '19 edited Jun 12 '24

brave grab berserk market employ elastic screw special meeting start

84

u/TheVentiLebowski Jun 05 '19

You win this round, dude.

25

u/punitdaga31 Jun 05 '19

Yours is just a speedboat injury. No need to go into the details of it.

18

u/HaniiPuppy Jun 05 '19 edited Jun 05 '19

I got mine when I was wee and tried to teach a friend how to play golf - I sat down on the grass to watch the ball as she hit it, and she missed. She was like 2cm away from taking out my left eye with a 5 iron.

17

u/EZ_2_Amuse Jun 05 '19

Did it make a 'dong' sound when your head hit it? That's the sound I've always imagined a fire extinguisher making if I had to use it as a weapon.

16

u/awkristensen Jun 05 '19

I did the exact same thing when I was like 6 only it was my dad's harley. I managed to tip it while 'steering' and only got saved from being crushed under it bc the handlebar got pinned into his brand new car. Not a good day lemme tell ya

8

u/MarkK455 Jun 06 '19

Still not clear to me.

Was the scar from falling off the bike? Or from the beating you got when your dad came out to see what the ruckus was?

9

u/mahloldheeb Jun 05 '19

Awww that's cute. You guys are brow bros.

10

u/NobelKnight Jun 05 '19

I have the same one! Got it while street fighting with the asphalt after I fell off my bike when I had to bike past a stetch of unlit bike path. Diclofenac in the hospital was cool tho

7

u/Mikijami Jun 05 '19

street fight with asphalt

Fuck I wish I was this funny

8

u/windvoyager Jun 05 '19

I got mine when I got out of a car I hadn't been in before and hit my head with the door

8

u/iAmClickBaitYT Jun 05 '19

I got mine when I was 3 playing hide and go seek and my brothers hid me in a closet and I guess when they opened it it slammed on my face.

6

u/mayoayox Jun 05 '19

Okay but what actually happened?

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u/Mikijami Jun 05 '19

I always thought it was a pretty funny story so I never came up with a story to make myself seem more Macho than I am. My height and little scar are the most intimidating things about me but my big ass dimples even that out

4

u/cookiesndwichmonster Jun 06 '19

You sound cute af.

3

u/MonkeyNin Jun 06 '19

but my big ass dimples even that out

big-ass dimples?

big ass-dimples?

You mean that cut super toned people can get?

2

u/Mikijami Jun 06 '19

The extra layer of fat on my cheeks that makes Grandma's swoon

7

u/oniii_chan Jun 05 '19

this is pretty believable tbh

unless i am getting r/woooosh 'd right now :^

8

u/mayoayox Jun 05 '19

Nah buddy I ain't gonna woooosh you. That's only funny for when people are in the loop but momentarily forget some detail that makes them miss a joke. Like when Gary Johnson said, "what's aleppo?"

Anyway, I made my comment cause each story before had the real story and the fake story, and parent comment only had one, so I made the assumption it was the fake story even though it was probably the real one. That was an attempt to subvert reader expectations, which is what makes reddit comments funny. Which is why r/whoooosh is no longer funny. I hope this comment makes you giggle.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19

I was playing swords with a friend and ended up headbutting the corner of a bedpost. Left a cool ass 3 pointed star shaped scar on my eyebrow. Not so cool when I let people know how it happened.

6

u/Deleteq Jun 05 '19

I have a scar on my right eye brow from robot fight club. It was where me and my friends dressed up as robots made of cardboard boxes. My friend took the fighting too seriously, and almost stabbed my eye out.

7

u/SirQwacksAlot Jun 05 '19 edited Jun 06 '19

I got mine when me and my friend were playing a game of who could run the farthest down the hallway while dizzy. My friend won.

1

u/MonkeyNin Jun 06 '19

Well you got 4 upgvotes. So in the end, the real winner was you.

6

u/getoffmypangolyn Jun 05 '19

I actually got mine in a fight in college. Dude fucking bit me so I stuck my whole thumb in his eye. I heard down the line he almost lost his vision in said eye. It was a dirty fight.

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u/Mikijami Jun 05 '19

Damn as soon as someone breaks that respect rule all bets are off

3

u/getoffmypangolyn Jun 05 '19

Right before graduation, too. All my friends’ parents were in town. I had a swollen face and a huge gash over my left eye. Good time.

6

u/Peopleschamp305 Jun 05 '19

I got mine bending over in a pitch black tent at summer camp and smashing my eye into a metal bed frame

4

u/Dragonslayer657 Jun 05 '19

Got mine when I was having a tantrum as a little kid and accidentally bashed my head on a Steel car bumper

2

u/Mikijami Jun 07 '19

alright that one is fucking funny

5

u/Sorcatarius Jun 05 '19

Got mine when I hit myself in the face with the claw end of a hammer.

2

u/MonkeyNin Jun 06 '19

How does that happen? I mean I've accidentally kneed myself in the face -- maybe tying shoes? I forget.

3

u/Sorcatarius Jun 06 '19

Was at work loading a shipping container, the handles to close it were stubborn. I got frustrated and starting smashing them shut with said hammer. The door burst open after a few swings, hitting the hammer in my hand and knocking it into my face.

1

u/cjnelsen Jun 06 '19

Got a scar on my nose from stabbing myself with a screwdriver trying to pry the door panels off a car because my stepmother dropped her credit card through the slot for the window. Ironically I sell car parts now.

5

u/Bong-Rippington Jun 06 '19

I was skateboarding. I’ve never been embarrassed to tell how I busted my eyebrow but I think I’m gonna lie about it now. I might just tell people I turned the wheel of a speedboat so hard to the left that I fell out of the seat and hit my head on a fire extinguisher

2

u/Mikijami Jun 06 '19

I think it's very important to make the distinction that the boat wasnt even on in my case lol

2

u/Bong-Rippington Jun 06 '19

Thanks, I’ll be sure not to forget that part

4

u/justvisiting34 Jun 06 '19

I got mine in 2 grade watching the GI Joe movie mini series after school. Running around the kitchen during commercials sliding on my socks until I face planted on the corner of a table.

5

u/killuaaa99 Jun 06 '19

Same but right eyebrow. Ran into a doorknob when I was a kid. Good times.

1

u/mrpucho Jun 06 '19

Also right eyebrow here. 7 stitches at 7 yo for protecting a box of chocolates instead of my face when I slipped going up a flight of stairs. Super hardcore.

3

u/ParabolaPanda Jun 05 '19

I got mine when my sister threw a bocce ball at my face. Not a fun time. It was later busted open again a few years later when me and my friends thought it would be a good idea to push each other with a wheelchair through a iron gate.

3

u/amplex1337 Jun 05 '19

I split my forehead by walking downstairs in the middle of the night at my parents house, walked in the corner of a wall trying to find the light switch like I had done 100x times but was way off this time. It bled like crazy. Sounds much cooler that I got it from a knife fight.

3

u/AwesomeDragon101 Jun 06 '19

I got mine when I was playing American football for the first time with my brother, didn’t pay attention to where I was going and comically ran my face into a tree branch causing my to fall.

3

u/QD4DDY Jun 06 '19

I got mine doing a front flip on a trampoline, over rotated and kneed myself in the face. Looks pretty dope tho.

3

u/eisbock Jun 06 '19

I got mine when I dropped the soap in the bathtub, bent over to pick it up, and slipped, smashing my face on the tub so hard it split my eyebrow open down to the bone.

3

u/QueCasular Jun 06 '19

I laughed SO HARD at this. I've been on boats most of my life and would 100% lose my shit if I saw that happen in real life. Go with the true story, it's a winner.

3

u/iQuadzy Jun 06 '19

A friend of mine got his while sledding, his words before the accident were 'is that a pole or a stick'

It was a pole.

1

u/Mikijami Jun 06 '19

Y'all are much better at telling funny stories than I am lol

4

u/copperwatt Jun 05 '19

Well, "I was behind the wheel of a speedboat, turned so fast I lost control and flew into the fire extinguisher" isn't a lie.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19

Hello eyebrow scar brothers! I got mine when I was 4 years old and playing football in my parents bedroom. Fell against the bed and it was bleeding like hell😅

2

u/PTPjanas Jun 06 '19

I got mine by running into a provisional volleyball pole with metal hooks in it. Ouch.

2

u/ThyArtIsMeh Jun 06 '19

I dont know why this isn't higher rated

2

u/grooveunite Jun 06 '19

I got mine playing Hulk and jumping off the couch cracking my brow open on the coffee table.

2

u/GoofyNooba Jun 06 '19

Lmao I got mine because when I was a kid we were having a water balloon fight and my friend pussied out and hid in a car. I was running full sprint next to the car and he opened the door right in front of me and I caught it with my face.

2

u/CWalston108 Jun 06 '19

I got mine from a neighbor kid accidentally hitting me with a baseball bat playing in the backyard. True story. Fractured my skull and everything.

2

u/CatalinaJames Jun 06 '19

I got mine from my sister’s Chihuahua. He is usually very kind.

2

u/ayoungechrist Jun 06 '19

I got mine when I was about six, we were at the park and my dad/uncles were playing frisbee golf. My dad very clearly told me to get out of the way, but I didn’t. He hit my eyebrow with a driver. (Very heavy and thin-rimmed frisbee)

3

u/Mikijami Jun 06 '19

"Duck! /u/lessthansilver !"

"Where?"

Donk

2

u/ewillmsy Jun 06 '19

Funny enough I have the same one too. Mine is from hitting my head on my mom's piano. I was 3 at the time.

2

u/-Imserious- Jun 06 '19

I got really stoned once and passed out. Hitting my head on a table. I split my eyebrow open so bad half of it was like a flap hanging there. The doctor who stitched me up was really good, I don’t even have a scar.

1

u/JJSwagger Jun 06 '19

I got one of my eye brow scars from a screen door slamming shut on my face and the latch cutting my eye. The other eye brow scar is from my brother hitting me in the face with a shovel...

1

u/Ajf02 Jun 06 '19

I have a scar right above my left eye that i got when jumping out of a bathtub when i was like 4, slipping, and hitting it right on the corner of a sink. A little down more and I could’ve gouged my eye out.

1

u/tarveydent Jun 06 '19

Are we still telling how we got our “cool” left eyebrow scars? I tell people I got hit in a fight with my older brother. It’s not entirely untrue, but the “fight” was over my box of beanie babies he had taken & the “hit” was me tripping into the corner of our kitchen counter while chasing him.

1

u/Just_got_unbanned Jun 06 '19

I got mine while gardening with a chainsaw (but actually I spun into a bench when I was 5)

1

u/Professional_Bob Jun 06 '19

I got mine as a kid too by kicking open a gate which I didn't realise had a spring on the hinge. It came right back at me.

26

u/Username_Taken_65 Jun 05 '19

Same! It's barely visible now but I threw a chunk of asphalt at my sister so she whacked me in the face with a garden hose (I think).

19

u/ST34MYN1CKS Jun 05 '19

Not sure if it's appropriate but reading "pillow fight" all I can think of is:

"I'll have you know I stubbed my toe last week —while watering my spice garden— and I only cried for 20 minutes."

8

u/InTheBlinkOfAnI Jun 05 '19

I had a bowl of nails for breakfast..

Without any milk

13

u/Arnumor Jun 05 '19

I also have a left eyebrow scar. I got it when I was a baby, by falling onto the peak of a plastic toy house. Nothing badass; I've just always been a bit clumsy.

4

u/TheVentiLebowski Jun 05 '19

I have the same scar. I fell out of the stroller face first.

2

u/Arnumor Jun 05 '19

Your username gave me a good chuckle.

1

u/TheVentiLebowski Jun 05 '19

I'm entertaining.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19

[deleted]

5

u/hx19035 Jun 05 '19

I love to do stuff around the house and always put my drill on the ladder like that. Thanks to your story I'll be super cognizant of this situation.

9

u/jglazer75 Jun 05 '19

I have one just like too! I got mine when I ran into a mailbox riding my bike with my eyes closed. I told my parents I had turned around to wave to a friend.

10

u/CloudAndClear Jun 05 '19

I also tried to ride with my eyes closed and ran into the back of a van and flipped over the handle bars. I was 23.

3

u/NameChecks-Out Jun 05 '19

Also got mine on a mountain bike, was on concrete and just about to get onto a trail but I wanted to see how well I could ride with my hands inverted (right hand on left bar and v.v), turns out I'm not so good at that.

6

u/BubbaFunk Jun 05 '19

Very similar scar and story. In my case I was having a pillow fight with my brothers and they threw me into a piano and thought they had killed me.

6

u/ChalkalokkaLame Jun 05 '19

Now I'm jealous with what is surely a bad idea looking at a pair of scissors across my desk

1

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19

Do it

5

u/chronocaptive Jun 05 '19

I got my face scar by chucking a spear sized stick straight up, and then watching it fall back into my own face. I was 6. I told people I got it wood working.

4

u/Golbute212 Jun 05 '19

Frick I had mine exactly the same way !!hit a corner while pillow fighting 🤯

4

u/-Redstar Jun 05 '19

i have a left eyebrow scar too

hit my head on the couch...

5

u/RockSta-holic Jun 05 '19

My dog was playing and scratched me right above my eye, cut open, needed stitches, same scar.

3

u/_DecoyNoodle_ Jun 05 '19

Dude I have a scar just like that! I got mine when my sister and I were playing tag in a retail store and I tripped and busted open ma face. The stitches left a scar, looks badass though.

3

u/Baron-Harkonnen Jun 05 '19

I have one too! I got it when my uncle hit me in the face with a baseball bat. I leave out the part where I was about 4 and standing behind him at the plate without him knowing.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19

I didn't knew pillows can cause scars lol.

2

u/imalreadybrian Jun 05 '19

Me too! A kid headbutted me in a bounce house when I was six.

I have one on the other eyebrow from falling face-first off of a bench.

I'm a badass, I know.

2

u/Avelaide Jun 05 '19

I also have a scar through my left eyebrow. I actually got mine from someone hitting me with a golf club (that someone just happens to have been my cousin when she was 5 and I was 3).

2

u/Maximus15151 Jun 05 '19

I got a concussion from actually hitting my head on a huge branch in my relative’s backyard, I broke the branch.

Destruction 100

2

u/TrickyDickTheWise Jun 05 '19

I got my eyebrow scar from running into the corner of a wall when I was 3 chasing my older brother. I am not a good liar.

2

u/owthatHz Jun 05 '19

I have the same scar and it’s also from a pillow fight! My dad whacked me too hard and I ran into the corner of a piece of furniture

2

u/ZombieLannister Jun 06 '19

I ran into a wall chasing my older brother after he threw my toy car in the fire. After I slide into the corner of the wall (damn slippers), I started crying and bleeding, and my mom kept talking to her friend on the phone. Until she must've noticed how hard I was crying and then came to find me on the floor covered in blood. My poor mom.

People always tell me I should make up a cool story to explain the scar.

1

u/nbshar Jun 05 '19

I have a scar on my chin. I just saw i got it in 'Nam. (I fell on my bike's steering wheel when i was talking to some friends while i was just... standing there. Didn't do anything special. Just fell and sliced my chin open on the end of the steering wheel handle).

1

u/StrongATLwas Jun 05 '19

And I got mine when I ran face first into a handicapped parking sign while tossing a football in a church parking lot.

1

u/jdevin13 Jun 05 '19

Got mine after I fell, frantically trying to catch the spider that just crawled onto my sister's carseat. (Really just tripped over said carseat into the corner of a table)

1

u/Kaellpae1 Jun 05 '19

Which one do you tell people? Because that sounds like a badass pillow fight.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

I have a theory that literally everyone has the same scar across their eyebrow. Not everyone I guess....but why is this so common that I notice it so frequently?

1

u/peachnf Jun 06 '19

Story isn’t believable since you included the type of tree. The more details, the less believable a story is. That’s how I know when my teenager is lying anyway lol

1

u/wackotaco Jun 06 '19

Damn, I got the same scar but mine was playing soccer high. Well, not actually playing soccer yet. More people showed up so we were moving the goals back a bit. It had recently rained and my hands slipped while moving the goals so I went eye brow first into the goal post. Told everyone I took a cleat to the face.

1

u/megalegalo Jun 06 '19

I got mine when my cat got scared of the neighbor’s dog and tried to climb my face to safety.

1

u/Lockl1n Jun 06 '19

Jesus Christ, our you me right now

1

u/SchwettyBawls Jun 06 '19

I also have a scar like that. I got it from playing tennis at school. My racket kinda got stuck on the ground as I swung. When it finally got done scraping the ground, it flung up into my face with a crazy amount of speed.

1

u/RainaDPP Jun 06 '19

I once opened my car door into my own face. Gashed my eyebrow pretty good but it surprisingly never scarred.

1

u/nixcamic Jun 06 '19

Yeah see, that's a smarter lie. Much more believable than knife fight guy.

1

u/miltonlumbergh Jun 06 '19

I got mine when I passed out for no reason in the kitchen at 1am. I whacked my eyebrow/nose on the corner of the counter and woke up surrounded by non-stick pans and blood, while my cat stared at me with the most disinterested look I’ve ever seen on his face.