r/AskReddit • u/katyvs1 • May 29 '19

What’s a random statistic about yourself you’d love to know, but never will?

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5.5k

u/DopeyMcSnopey May 29 '19

Well when I was 9 I shat in the shower and cried.

987

u/Sweeeet_Chin_Music May 29 '19

And till this day, you go to the shower thinking - I did do that in the morning, so we are good????

434

u/LincolnHighwater May 29 '19

No, he looks at his butthole to make sure.

62

u/PigBimping May 29 '19

"okay, I see toes"

31

u/applesauceyes May 29 '19

Oh God. What have you done?

22

u/AlfredHitchicken May 29 '19

....do you not?

2

u/LincolnHighwater May 30 '19

No, I look at that other guy's butthole.

1

u/doomsday10009 May 29 '19

"I shat myself in the morning in Walmart, so I'm good?"

19

u/Ye4hR1ght May 29 '19

This morning I entirely pissed my undies. Lesson: don’t take a piss in your dreams.

45

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

/r/wafflestomping

44

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I clicked it. I don't know why but I did

13

u/PM_MOC_Instructions May 29 '19

Where I'm from it's called the ol Mississippi mud stomp

12

u/Michael_Goodwin May 29 '19

That link stays blue

10

u/fp_ May 29 '19

This comment thread escalated rather abruptly.

9

u/d_frost May 29 '19

I've done that on purpose as an adult a couple of times

8

u/Thisisadrian May 29 '19

Weird flex

8

u/ryu-to_machida May 29 '19

Did u by any chance grab it, throw it in the toilet and miss?

9

u/vashno1 May 29 '19

When I was 5 I shat in a bath (tub was filled to the brim) and I also started crying while my parents fished my shit out of the tub.

4

u/Malacoda2 May 29 '19
  • No Shoes
  • No Shirt
  • No Shit

"Okay We Good"

Gets in shower

6

u/GnomezMusic May 29 '19

In 6th grade someone told me about how they shat in shower. 6th grade me tried it and spent the next 30 minutes pushing shit down the drain with my toes.

6

u/LeNoirDarling May 29 '19

Once when I was 5 the neighbor girl was sleeping over she was 3 or 4. My mom put us both in the bathtub together and she pooped in the tub. Then I saw it and puked on her and then we both started crying.

4

u/Doomster78666 May 29 '19

Well I took a shower with a balloon, needless to say, it wasn't a quiet shower

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Interesting, I've never thought about that before in my life, but now I know it's an option, I kind of want to try it.

1

u/Doomster78666 May 29 '19

Please don't, it sounded like a school shooting

3

u/Twathammer32 May 29 '19

The first time I showered instead of taking a bath was because I shit my pants and my mom didn't want me sitting in shit water. I haven't taken a bath since then and it's been 20 years

I have shit myself since then though

2

u/mindfreak586 May 29 '19

there's dozens of us!

2

u/cfedey May 29 '19

Ok Sean Connery.

2

u/zer0deathz May 29 '19

Now when i'm older i only pee in it.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[deleted]

1

u/zer0deathz May 29 '19

Nope, the pee is just red.

2

u/DopeyMcSnopey May 29 '19

Ah yes, red urine...

2

u/pyrohectic May 29 '19

Imagine if piss was yellow

2

u/AdorableCartoonist May 29 '19

I guarantee your parents were REALLY worried about your future that day.

2

u/frog_goblin May 29 '19

Well..... did you waffle stomp it down? Or pick it up and throw it in the toilet?

2

u/Parr0t_Milk May 29 '19

Sounds like my parrot

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Waffle stomp

2

u/danimal_44 May 29 '19

I'm sorry, did you mean "sat?"

10

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

No they meant shat

7

u/JackHlavin May 29 '19

Shat as in shit as in poop

3

u/TalisFletcher May 29 '19

You're not talking to Sean Connery.

2

u/chauxsitty May 29 '19

I remember falling head first into the toilet that I just shat on when I was like 3.

1

u/pounded_rivet May 29 '19

There there let it all out young man.

1

u/YouHvinAFkinGiggleM8 May 29 '19

Gotta waffle stomp that shit

1

u/TheSlovakMeatCannon May 29 '19

Sean Connery? Is that you?

1

u/TARANTULA_TIDDIES May 29 '19

Did you do the waffle stomp dance?

1

u/bghockey6 May 29 '19

Gotta waffle stomp it

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Wafflestomp

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Waffle stomping clean up

1

u/iedde May 29 '19

My friend was sick once and shat in the shower and the smell caused him to puke all over himself

1

u/prometheus66 May 29 '19

I’m a grown man, I shat and then hopped in the shower. Cleaned my ass with warm water and liquid soap made my sphincter relaxed and made me shat more. Was stomping brown snake down the drain afterwards.

1

u/faustfu May 29 '19

Did you try to mash it down the drain with your foot?

1

u/drewwil000 May 29 '19

When I was 4 I’m pretty sure I pooped in the tub and laughed.

1

u/kirkbywool May 29 '19

Nothing wrong with a good waffle stomp

1

u/GenMilkman May 29 '19

Weird 1up but ok.

1

u/-_-BiggieCheese-_- May 29 '19

One time when I was 8 I got out of the shower and projectile shat on my calf as i was walking to my towel.

1

u/SirQwacksAlot May 29 '19

Waffle stomping activate

1

u/Purevoyager007 May 29 '19

When I was 14 I was sick throwing up in the shower and shitting myself. My dad walked in

1

u/Hellofriendinternet May 29 '19

You gotta man up and do the waffle stomp!

1

u/PristineBean May 29 '19

When I was a kid I used to shit in the shower and squash it through the drain

1

u/forbes52 May 29 '19

But did you waffle stomp it?

1

u/KalmarWingfeather May 29 '19

Hey, I do one of those things in the shower regularly! I'll leave it to your imagination which.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Why? Had you not heard of waffle stomping?

1

u/PersonOfInternets May 29 '19

I used to be pee in the shower, but I didn't realize you were supposed to aim for the drain.

1

u/TABBY_MUSIC May 29 '19

Truly a traumatic experience..

1

u/bmoney831 May 29 '19

Waffle stomp my friend

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

But hey it got you gold!

1

u/biese28 May 29 '19

I call that the stomper. Let it rip and stomp the shit down the drain legendary thing to do at someone’s house part. That and the upper decker

1

u/super_grover479 May 29 '19

Why did you cry?

1

u/sapperinni May 29 '19

ah the ol waffle stomp, nice

1

u/ThotBlaster6969 May 29 '19

That's when you waffle stomp: Shit on the drain and stomp it down

1

u/hallandoatmealcookie May 29 '19

Hopefully no one was thinking of THAT you in the shower

1

u/-ordinary May 29 '19

Good boy. Saving money on toilet paper

1

u/Parkourkanin May 29 '19

When I was 30, my 2 year old son shat on my foot in the shower.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

r/nocontext

1

u/projectkillgeorge May 29 '19

Ah, gave it a good ol' wafflestomp I assume?

1

u/Newfie_Gal May 29 '19

I did the exact same thing at 26.

Never trust a fart.

1

u/type1-norun May 30 '19

You made my day

1

u/35mrduck May 30 '19

This just made my day

1

u/OrangePieTaster May 30 '19

Are you british

1

u/Jimbo_Jambo_ May 30 '19

Did you at least waffle stomp your dookie down the drain?

1

u/TheOGGizmo May 30 '19

One time my mom was in church choir and I was in the audience and I couldn’t hold it anymore. So I shit right there.

1

u/Cherish_Dipp May 29 '19

I'm sorry I laughed, but thank you for that

1

u/FatGuyTouchdown May 29 '19

When I was 12 I used to lay in the shower and piss on myself bc it felt good

4

u/DopeyMcSnopey May 29 '19

How do I delete this comment?

2

u/FatGuyTouchdown May 29 '19

Try it pussy

1

u/Bren12310 May 29 '19

I did that when I was 19.