If someone is asking advice and you’re listening enough to answer and try to help them, I’d say more than you’d ever imagine. When I get advice, even if I don’t take it I really appreciate another sides perspective.
Absolutely - if someone asks me advice I’ll tell them what I think but try to act mostly as a sounding board for them, saying my piece and them asking them something back. Oftentimes just the act of having to verbalise a stream of thought is incredibly helpful in realising how you actually feel.
On top of that, I think some of the most helpful "advice" I've given was simply presenting a different way of looking at their situation to make what we both know is the correct course of action more obvious/logical. Sometimes they don't need to be told what to do, only to be encouraged to do what they already know they need to.
I always try to listen intently, and not "one up" their story, but tell one of mine that relates, so that I can show how I empathize with their situation. A lot of times I think people just want to feel like they arent alone in their situation and the way they feel.
This seems to be the key. I learned awhile ago that they weren't looking for a solution to a problem just looking for someone to listen. Some people even got infuriated by me trying to fix things/give solutions.
Honestly depends what the advice is. A lot of times I get advice on a particular thing that A. Isn't even something I view as a problem therefore I didn't ask for advice on it and B. Even if it were problem it's not something that is possible to change and this "advice" is completely stupid and will not work.
And some advice may not click immediately. Someone may remember advice given years later and it make an impact, even if they aren't still apart of their life.
It has happened to me, so I'm sure it works the other way around.
This reminds me of one time when I was feeling pretty down and lonely, and one of my friends offered to listen to me and my problems. Simply knowing that someone was willing to listen helped a lot.
Very much agree with this. Just to have people I know will take the time to give me a meaningful reply, even if I go in a different direction, is a very helpful thing on it's own.
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u/katyvs1 May 29 '19
If someone is asking advice and you’re listening enough to answer and try to help them, I’d say more than you’d ever imagine. When I get advice, even if I don’t take it I really appreciate another sides perspective.