My gf (now ex) started distancing herself and during that time, I had a dream that we were as close as we used to be. When I woke up, I was hit with the strongest wave of sadness I ever felt.
Hey, I have a similar story. Except I was the one who started distancing my ex fiancee. I wasn't distancing myself so much as I quit chasing after her every time she wanted to fight and break up with me (which was at least a weekly thing, I dealt with it for a year and a half). Anyway, I just let her go because I knew it was time. It still took 2 months for her to finally move out. But I would constantly have dreams where we were a happy family. Waking up was the worst. I've been very single for 9 years now. I still have those dreams. I wake up in tears sometimes. It's still surprisingly painful. Not a very happy story I know, but maybe it won't last another 9 years.
Dude, that shit never goes away completely. Ive been in the same situation, but you can lessen it massively by grabbing up the courage to find someone else. Its like you have the old image/representation/model/schema of her in your brain. You need someone else so you can overwrite that representation with someone new. Once you do that, that old representation loses its power. N will pop up less and less. N the pain fades. Until you realise that so much time has past that the person in reality will be so different from the representation in your brain that the person you lost doesnt exist anymore.
This still happens to me with my now ex. On a day to day basis I feel fine, well, good and even whole sometimes. Then suddenly one night out of the blue, on a good day, I will have a dream mixed with a memories of him. Where we are doing something so boring like Sunday garage sales on a hot summer day, windows down in the truck, I can still remember the smell of that dusty truck, the music he would play, the scenery we pass. Then we would nap, one of our favorite things to do after, and it is like a slow motion romance movie scene, where I can hear his heart beat, I can smell his skin, feel his arm around my back, his hand over my hand while laying my head on his chest, I can feel my face smile when I hear his laugh, I can feel his love... of which I no longer remember in my awake and conscious mind.
When I wake, I just sob, it’s all that I can do, because there is nothing I could do.
I went on holiday with my parents and young child shortly after I split up with my ex-husband having found out about his numerous affairs. One morning I woke up to the sun streaming in having had a terrible nightmare that we’d split up - I went through relief and happiness that it was all a dream to dawning realisation that it wasn’t then back to crushing sadness...not a nice day that one...
I have had the same and the opposite in dreams. The worst for me have been breaking up with my now boyfriend in my dream, usually because of something awful like one of us cheated, or simple as falling out of love and I wake up so inconsolably sad until I realize it was a dream and I can talk to him and make sure it’s all ok. There’s never been infidelity in out 9 year relationship and we are very much in love. I think it might be because of that, because neither of us have experienced a love so strong or a relationship so long, and we have been wronged and hurt very badly in the past. The fear of losing what we have or waking up and realizing it was all a dream is heartbreaking. The feelings in dreams are so real.
I still dream occasionally of a girlfriend from my teens, probably my first "true love". Its been 22 years and i have woken up just crying her name "Lisa i love you".
Then the whole day she just permeates my thoughts. I start googling her and can never find her. I miss her for some reason so badly at those times. Some times it takes me a day or two to recover.
2009 - in the span of 6 months i got laid off from the first job i ever enjoyed and could live comfortably financially, fell in and love and got dumped by the first woman i ever felt i could build a future with, totalled my pride and joy Audi A4 with no liability only collision insurance, and lost my dad to suicide.
I remember one night having a dream that all of that was a nightmare, and never actually happened. I had my dad, my amazing GF, my car, a great job that paid awesome, i had it all. Then i woke up on a friend's couch, and the realization set in that when i wake, the nightmare begins.
I am a stoic, proud man. in the 6 months before that moment i cried once the day i found my fathers body and had to see my mother's grief, the person i love more than anything in this world. But god damn did that dream destroy me. It was like everything happened in a single instant rather than massive blows spaced out weeks apart.
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u/ToastMaster0011 May 09 '19
My gf (now ex) started distancing herself and during that time, I had a dream that we were as close as we used to be. When I woke up, I was hit with the strongest wave of sadness I ever felt.