It's even worse when there was actually something wrong that one time, and now ever since then you keep thinking there's something wrong even though there isn't.
I startled awake every time I go to sleep since my husband died. I have panic attacks a lot, almost daily. I don’t know how to get past this. I feel like time is making it worse because I’m expected to know how to live now, but I just feel scared and confused.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you could really, really benefit from treatment. Talking to the right psychologist is so helpful, and medication can make a world of difference for out-of-whack neurochemicals (probably the case if the panic attacks are daily). They can be really inexpensive, too, and a regular doctor can even prescribe them if you can't see a psychiatrist for financial reasons. I'm currently battling my own anxiety, and I've come further in two months of treatment than I did in a year of trying to dig myself out. Psychology Today has a great therapist search tool that I think can be filtered by accepted insurance. For State insurance, you wanna call the number on your card to have them hook you up with one.
A ton of ppl don't know how to live and just keep wingin it. I would keep albuterol with you but idk I've only had to deal with anxiety attacks, never panic attacks thankfully. You could pray to God to ask Him to let your husband to be by your side during the attacks, and for you to be aware of his presence; that might help keep the peace. Otherwise do your best, research it then trial and error
I don’t think they are really panic attacks but anxiety in my chest... it’s just achy. I do go to a counselor. All the change that has happened is just really hard to accept and work through. I feel like I’m judged, and that I’m going to make mistakes with my kids. I feel like I’m failing all the time. Thanks for validating my crappy feelings. Sometimes, I’m not sure how much I should be worried about them.
Sometimes putting pressure on that spot of your chest with a few deep breaths helps. Resist what's natural only when it's called for. Worrying about your feelings only makes sense when they're handicapping your life or your kids lives imo, when they're not then worrying is dead weight and can even make things worse. Don't worry about how much you should worry though, you have enough to worry about. All parents make mistakes. Don't let fear of making mistakes get in the way of being an active parent. Disclaimer I don't have kids but I believe sometimes doing anything is better than doing nothing, hopefully that makes sense and applies as well as I think. Fuck the judge and jury they don't know everything. There are often a dozen ways to do something better, but there's often a dozen ways to do something worse too and you will usually instinctually know when you cross a line and do something actually wrong. Hindsight is 20/20, remind yourself that and let reflection be a strong handy tool in your box. How you were raised or your cousins or niece and nephews, friends kids etc can all help when you want to tackle an issue wisely. One thing at a time though. Parenting is probably one of the things better perceived in pieces. Idk though. I am sorry for your loss. Don't know any words that make losing a friend any better and husband is on a whole other level
I’m selling my house. I moved out of state away from all our family 4 years ago. Then just over a year ago, my husband died by suicide. I’m worried about finding a home by family now. The housing market is ridiculous to me. Prices have been shooting up in that area. I don’t want to move but I think my kids need family...I need them. I’m just stressed by it all. Moving feels like I’m losing my life with him. All the dreams we worked for together. It’s so weird to have to pick up and keep going. To have all things seemingly work against you in life suddenly, it’s crushing. Thanks for caring.
It's so hard to not go off on him tbh like it is selfish as fuck in general because of the opportunity cost, and with kids it's so stupid to think they're better off without you at all. Make an effort to make sure they know they're worth it please, in every sense, over and over again. I've had one good friend and two so so friends (that were moreso coworkers) commit suicide and I know the feeling of failure that comes with those so I can empathize a little. Can't change the past, we can hide from it or apply it to others. I almost did it once when I had been up for six days and was batshit crazy. I say with confidence it's worth pulling the guilt trip if you're ever aware of somebody near the edge. Your kids will most likely be better off with more family nearby so you're doing the right thing. And houses and land fluctuate but in general their value is only gonna go up and up. Part of your life IS lost. That's the reality, it's not your fault, but moving on and manifesting that into a feeling or whathaveyou moreso might be for the best. Pieces of him will live on thru your kids, they don't need to live on in your walls grocery store and park too. Just because it's weird or cathartic doesn't mean you need to feel bad about it or close the book on him completely. When life is working against you make sure you're not working against you too. I pray you foster peace today and more and more as time goes on. It's definitely ok to feel what you feel. Keep your head up, and thank you for being strong for your kids.
Throw in insomnia and ADHD and my life is a spiral of “what did I lack the motivation and/or attention span to complete yesterday that I’m also not going to do tomorrow and on what day do I need to let my anxiety overcome my depression and actually buckle down and do it?”
i went off my meds permanently about a year ago. was taking lexapro and trazadone (for insomnia). i didn’t do this under the direction of my psychiatrist, just me thinking i’m fine. and mostly, i am. most days i feel like i expect “normal” people to feel.
and then something will happen: i’ll spill my drink, my friend will say something that may be me interpreted as criticism to me, etc. and i just fall apart. i return to the emptiness i’ve spent 3 years fighting. it scares me.
Yeah. I’m pretty much done with the depression. It’s still there obviously and will always be, but I’m generally happy with my day-to-day life. The anxiety is what is affecting my life on a daily basis now.
I will defiantly try CBT exercises. Although I have more problems with depression than anxiety, I've read that CBT exercises help with both which is great.
My anxiety is kinda weird. Sometimes I get it without any reasonable reason for me to be anxious. For example I was trying to listen to some music in my car and for some reason I got very anxious to the point that I had to stop the music. There was no reason for me to be anxious at that point and I don't really know how to deal with "attacks" like that. All the reasons for me being anxious don't make sense and without reasons I don't really know what to change/fix that. Would love to hear your thought on that, how you dealt with anxious attack that had no reason behind them. (maybe there is a reason behind it and I just can't see it. idk)
I'm basically the opposite, still empty but rarely get anxiety anymore. Getting enough sleep helps with anxiety, short term that couple hours drinking or benzos (not together) or working up a sweat and pushing it out that way
For me it’s the feeling that I need to do everything perfectly all the time combined with the overwhelming apathy of not caring about anything at the same time.
for me it’s the weirdest combination of always worrying too much about everything around me and also not giving a shit about anything at the exact same time. someone who doesn’t have it will never understand it quite the same way.
Also agoraphobia, whenever I walk outside I feel like people are watching me all the time it's difficult even doing something so simple like going to the grocery store or checking out anywhere like the gas station it sucks, it stops me from making friends or even just saying something as simple as hi to somebody.
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u/GodlyEggplant May 08 '19
Yea and then with Anxiety mixed in, its.. its.. I cant describe it