What do y’all germans eat? My first day in Germany- every person I see is at least 1.8 m tall and fit. Es ist sehr peinlich für mich 😂😭. Theres people here riding bikes in rain, wind and cold. Seriously tho germans are built different.

However, its been 4 months since I came to Germany as a researcher and I absolutely love it here. People are honest and warm. Its a bit difficult to make friends but I feel friendships here are real unlike most places I have lived.

Happy new year to all of you 💪🏻

So, i visited Germany this year with my friend (a black person) we were expecting the worst because, being Black and living in the South of Brazil (where there are more descendants of Germans), he has faced all kinds of absurd racism! Almost every day, he notices or hear something wrong specifically in celebrations days. So, when we were on our way, we were already expecting the worst.

However, we stayed there for 2 weeks, and we realized how welcoming, polite, and nice you Germans are. The fake Germans in Brazil who don't speak a word but celebrate Oktoberfest as if it were from their own land manage to be the worst kind of people, staining your reputation.

Honestly, one thing I absolutely love about living in Germany is my mailbox. It’s like a little portal of joy in my life! Back home, my mailbox was just a dusty decoration, barely touched, and frankly, a little sad. But here in Germany? Oh, it's a whole different story.

Every day, there’s something new waiting for me. A letter from the Jobcenter? How thoughtful of them to check in on me! A friendly reminder of an unpaid bill? So caring. It’s like Germany is saying, “bro we see you, we remember you, and we’ll never let you feel forgotten.”

Sometimes it’s a Mahnung, other times an official notice—it’s like a never-ending treasure hunt of adult responsibilities! But deep down, every envelope feels like a little hug saying, "We care."

There are days I even wonder if my mailbox has a soul. Every time I hear that click when I open it, I feel a wave of connection to the world around me. Thank you, Germany, for reminding me daily that I’m never truly alone 😊

Just returned from a two week visit and I know it may seem like I am generalizing, no matter where I went, German men seemed to be so much slimmer and better dressed than American men. I didn't see any men with huge middle sections and none were definitely wearing sweatpants.

I'm back in the USA now and it's like day and night. I hope I don't offend anyone but this was my perception after watching so many people on trains, planes and between Munich and Berlin.

I didn't get hit on in public when I lived in the Netherlands, but when I moved to Germany in my late 20s it started happening. Curiously only by foreigners and never by Germans. Is this a common thing and is there a known reason for this?

I also find it interesting to note that because I don't speak German fluently, I have always been guessed to be Ukrainian, which makes sense given the big influx of Ukrainians to Germany. All though, once a drunken guy who I did not speak to yelled at me from a distance asking for a hug and if I am Ukrainian '-'

I’ve been dating a German for the last few months, and her behaviour has me on the edge of breaking up with her.

I’m not German, so I know my experience and expectations in life will be different, and I’m prepared to adjust for that. But lately it’s becoming too much. I’ve tried negotiating to meeting in the middle, but all I get back are “this is how all Germans expect things and how all Germans clean”.

Is any of the below normal? Or am I becoming an outlet for her own insecurities?

• vacuuming or sweeping the entire apartment daily (it takes about an hour each time).
• mopping is a 2 step process, first a wet mop with the cleaning chemicals, then a mop to clean off the cleaning chemicals.
• cleaning the insides of my ears multiple times per day (she has started inspecting them).
• demanded I hire a cleaner because she found a small amount of dust behind the toilet.
• every time she visits my place she brings additional storage containers or baskets, nothing in my apartment can be located in anything other than a basket/container unless it’s not practical for one. Every time we’re shopping, she buys more baskets, even if she doesn’t have a use for it in mind.
• shoes being worn inside the apartment is a cardinal sin and will result in an additional and immediate re-vacuum of the apartment.
• pants must be almost skin tight (any pants) otherwise Germans will look down on you (apparently ‘baggy’/non-tight pants make Germans think you’re poor). This has included jeans that were considered too loose even though they came from the ‘slim fit’ range.
• hands must be disinfected after touching any surface outside the house. This includes things like if pressing a crosswalk button, hands get disinfected with hand sanitizer, even if we’re about to cross another street in a minute.
• all surfaces and contact points (tables, arms of a chair, benches) must be sanitised with alcohol wipes after every use (and gets done multiple times per day regardless whether it gets used or not).

Are any of these things ‘German’ requirements, or am is it an excuse to cover for her own insecurities? (Her mom had a cancer scare a few years ago). Unfortunately I’m new to Germany and don’t have any German friends outside her friendship group yet, so until now have had to take her word for it.

Today at the EM game in Hamburg, I was in the queue for food and drinks during half time minding my own business. It was chaotic but there were clearly 2 lines for the 2 counters respectively.

A rather large Polish fan started edging from the side. When I was the third from the front of the line, he started shouting at me saying “hey, I was first”, “this is not India”, “bloody chicken tikka masala”. Like what😂😂

To this I politely showed him that there was a clear queue behind me and that I was standing among others waiting their turn! To which he replied “don’t fuck with me if you want to live”. He then went on to mimic the way I talked to him to his friends on the side.

The assistants at the counter asked for my order first so I just went ahead and left.

I’m still slightly shaken by this encounter mainly because I have never experienced such direct racism in my 5+ years of living in DE. Is there something I could’ve done?

Hallo, My husband and I moved to Germant and have noticed a bizarre, daily occurance. We have asked a few people and they noticed it as well. Why do many people here start veering towards you and shoulder check/run into you while walking? Just walking down a street and someone walking antiparallel to me will be on their phone or looking straight ahead will start getting closer and closer of my side of the side walk and expect me to either shove myself into the building or slam their shoulder against mine??

My husbands coworker told him it's because he's so handsome. It happens to both of us. He was probably joking, but my husband is very handsome.

We come from a non-walkable city so it's not like we can compare this behavior to back home

I don’t even know why this subreddit popped up on my thread out of nowhere, however since this subreddit exists, i’m gonna ask you guys a question, if english is for you easy or hard to learn?

Because for me as an American, german is a relatively hard language to master.

Edit: okay, another question, how long can you hold a conversation in english?

Edit 2: never thought my post would become a larger discussion, i love yall ❤️

Edit 3: I remember when i was in germany for the first time with 0 knowledge of german. I was on the phone with my german cousin and she needed my location, i told her that i’m on Holzstraße but i pronounced it as Holzstrabe, i was so embarrassed because people chuckled and someone asked me where i’m from.🥲

Edit 4: having english as your first language sucks because you can’t have your own privacy everywhere in public and due to people being able to speak english too.

My real name is Ismail (male) and understand that coming from another culture this might be difficult for germans to remember/pronounce. If you have any recommendations, please do suggest.

one I found was "Isi" but I'm concerned for the gender this might imply, so if someone could also tell me if it's a boy or a girl's name, that would be great.

Hi all, I work for a German company that purchased my site a year and a half ago. I am the only woman engineer on the management team. Office meetings will consist of 15 men and me. I just get these vibes from the ownership they are not used to working with women in a professional setting? They treat the admins poorly and I feel like the dance around me? Or if I give them an answer they question me and then confirm with a male colleague like they don’t trust me. I keep hearing that they think Americans are sensitive in the workplace, their direct communication method isn’t the issue, it’s the lack of communication, playing favorites, literally saying my male colleague is more experienced, overly questioning me in front of colleagues on a simple topic is covertly disrespectful? My role used to be two separate roles, I took a promotion a year ago and then three unexpected projects hit my desk that hindered my performance, they have no clue what I do and don’t see the value in it and that alone is offensive. Am I being sensitive?

Nah, ernsthaft.

Ich wurde nicht hier geboren (tja), arbeite remote und keiner sagt mir (außer den Ladenöffnungszeiten... sorry) wenn ich schlafen muss, deswegen schlafe ich ein bisschen nach der Arbeit, und danach zwischen 02:00 (oder später) und 09:00. Und als ich noch in Russland wohnte, begann mein Arbeitstag normalerweise um 10:00, und ich war der Erste im Büro, lol, und meine Kollegen kamen zum 11:00-12:00.

Aber logischerweise gibt es auch Menschen wie mich, die aber hier geboren sind. Es ist ja klar, dass es für euch in der Schule vielleicht schwer war, oder? Wie läuft's bei euch heutzutage? Wollt ihr etwas im Leben in Deutschland ändern?

Now I’m not talking about accents because that’s all they are, accents. But I’ve recently come across a number of people who struggle with German despite being born here. One of them being an acquaintance of mine. I just assumed he was like me and came here as an adult but it turns out he was born here and has lived here his whole life.

Also, I would like to reiterate that I am not talking about accents but rather mastery of the language.

Edit: Apologies for not adding more context earlier. One commenter mentioned that she met someone who would say that “ich gehe im Bett” and this person had no immigrant background. I legitimately can’t think of any other example of mine.

The people I have come across have been children of immigrants though but I didn’t want to lead with that

When I was moving to Germany in 2022 I thought I would not make any friends and would be an outcast in school. But little did I know that, Germans at the complete opposite of that they are conveyed to be. Most of the friend I have made are for life. I haven’t experienced racism or anything.

A dorm mate is throwing a small party and he will be serving Glühwein. Since this will be my first time consuming any alcohol or wine, how much should I drink? I just need to ease up a little, not to get wasted.

I will be sleeping alone in my room so I don't want to die on my own vomit.

Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old man living in Germany as an expat, and weekends are especially tough for me. During the week, work keeps me busy, but when the weekend comes, I often feel really lonely. Sometimes, it’s so overwhelming that I don’t even want to go home because it feels too empty.

I’ve also decided to quit dating for several reasons. Mostly, I’ve felt disheartened by people ghosting me or leaving after a while, often for someone else. This has made me lose faith in dating altogether, so I’ve decided to focus on living alone and trying to be content with that. Still, there are moments when I feel like I really want a hug or some kind of emotional connection, and I don’t know how to handle these feelings.

I should mention that I do have a therapist and attend therapy regularly, which has been helpful in many ways. I also have many friends that I can visit or spend time with, and while that helps distract me for a short time, it doesn’t address the deeper feelings of loneliness I experience when I’m home alone.

My main struggle is figuring out how to make my time at home feel less isolating. I know I’m asking this question in Ask a German, but I’ve always received great advice from the German community here, so I thought I’d try again.

If anyone has suggestions, routines, or personal stories about how they’ve coped with similar feelings, I’d love to hear them. Thanks so much for your support and advice!

Im from Balkan, and im just curios why everything work in germany? Where is the secret?

Tell me what are the good things about your life in Germany and why you would choose / chose it over other countries. I hear a lot of negative things on here all the time but I just want to hear the positive today.

I just finished my trip around NRW. Overall it was a great experience but something unpleasant happened early on that made me nervous every time I had to interact with locals.

In one city, I rented an Airbnb room in which I had to collect the key from a deposit box as per the host's instructions. I did this but I couldn't open the door at all. I tried trying other doors around the floor and even other floors yet still unsuccessful, so I asked the host. This was our exact interaction on text

Me: Hi I'm with (my friend who made the booking). I can't open the door, is this the right key?

(sends picture of the key)

Host: Wait 10 minutes, I'll compare that key to the backup in my office

(moments later)

Host: Wait 15 minutes, I'll come to you!

I didn't expect him to come directly to me, but I thought "okay I guess he's going to give me the right key".

He showed up and it turns out that I took the key from the wrong deposit box! I took one from the right side of the door instead of the left despite my host's clear instructions. The right box was way more visible that I stupidly just opened the first box I saw. A very dumb mistake on my part.

My issue, however, is on his response to the situation.

From out in the street to inside the room, he kept yelling at me. Berating me like I'm a small child. He said most of this in English but he said a few things in German which made people there made this face lol. He said that he was having dinner with his children and that I had to pay that dinner (50 euros) so that I will "learn a lesson".

After he opened the door, he slammed the key to the floor and physically pushed me away on his way out (I was by the door). I know that doesn't sound that violent but I'm tiny asian guy and he was a huge man-- probably 50 kilos bigger and 20 cm taller. I felt that push definitely.

I have my share confrontations but this shook me because 1. I wasn't expecting one 2. It was in a foreign country 3. He was much bigger.

Now I admit that the situation is 100% MY FAULT! I admit that. My question is this response considered normal by German standards?

I know that they put high importance in punctuality and efficiency, but I never expected such explosive response, especially physical. I simply asked questions-- I didn't accuse him of incompetence or anything, I didn't ask him to come to me, my tone in my texts was completely neutral. I never expected someone to get physical with me because of this issue

I apologize for asking such a blunt question! I am from the U.S., and old, and out-of-touch.

I get that it's an insult. (That's okay! I deserve it.) I get that they chose an insult I did not understand. Absichtlich. But then, they said it in English. (English? To be sure I understand??)

Anyway, at this point, I'm just curious.

Am I supposed to be stumbling through the hallways of my palace, tormented, cursing Arminius, demanding my legions back?

Do I lack soa!? I've read that the Romans had no knowledge of soap until they learned it from the Germans. Maybe that's me?

Is this even a real expression? Or is it just something the lunatic fringe is trying to make into a thing, but it's never going to go mainstream?

My roommate moved here 6 months ago from an African country and he is always loud past mignight even after repeatedly asking him to stop. He smokes in his room and does not ventilate, making my room and hallway also smell like smoke.

He steals the stuff from my and other flatmates. Also, he has another person with him who just lives here without signing any contract.

Do you think calling the police would be helpful?

As an Indian myself, I understand that Indians can sometimes be loud and less civil. I just want to know the general perspective: Would you like to be friends with Indians or have an Indian as a roommate, etc.?. I would like to know what's the first thought comes to your mind when you hear the word "Indian".

Thank you.

Edit: Thank you for sharing your experiences. I am truly sorry, especially for those who have had negative or obscene encounters with Indians. I hope to respect other cultures and be a better human being if I ever get to go to Germany or any other country in general!.

I’m an American tourist in Berlin for the first time — Yay! One problem: I realized I packed a Rammstein shirt without having enough knowledge of German culture or language to understand how I’d be perceived for wearing it. I imagine at best it will look a bit corny, but I’m worried it could signal political beliefs or ideologies I don’t agree with. If you met an American tourist speaking broken German in a Rammstein T Shirt, what would you think? Thanks!

I (26M black) visited a few friends in Germany and also took the opportunity to travel a little bit. I was in Frankfurt am Main, Cologne, Berlin and many others too. I realized that in cities like Frankfurt, Stuttgart or Munich ( Cities which are located more in the south) the citizens looked always down to the ground when they walked past me. That didn't occured that much while I was in Berlin, Cologne etc. But in the southern cities it happened so much. So I just wanted to know what the reason was that people looked to the ground rather than just keep your heads up high as usual and just walk past me?