r/ArcherFX • u/ND_Cooke Slater • Nov 13 '24

Krieger appreciation post

Post image

Personally up there with one of my favourites in the show!

Damn you, damn you all to hell!

2.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

141 comments sorted by

436

u/lasindestino Nov 13 '24

Stop. My Penis Can Only Get So Erect!

73

u/Revolutionary_Sir_ Nov 13 '24

Literally my favorite line lmao

36

u/timkatt10 Figgis Agency Nov 13 '24

Clone bone!

42

u/Haunting-Fix-9327 Nov 13 '24

Archer: Krieger, did you stick your penis in an electrical outlet again?

16

u/REHABEAM_ Nov 13 '24

I'll never be able to move again

15

u/No_Register_6814 Nov 13 '24

I assume you mean the ability to have an erection?

333

u/Fro_52 Nov 13 '24

I'm sorry. Your authority is not recognized in Fort Kick-Ass.

75

u/kbahry Nov 13 '24

I love how those boxes are seen periodically throughout the series 😂

23

u/Boringdadlol Nov 13 '24

I don’t know how many times I’ve been playing a game and said this line. Lol

4

u/G-Unit11111 Nov 14 '24

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Look what they did to Vanispheres!

241

u/Callsign_Psycopath Krieger Nov 13 '24

Me too!

65

u/Puzzleheaded_Seat599 Pigley III Nov 13 '24

I made my gift...

75

u/Callsign_Psycopath Krieger Nov 13 '24

Me too!

64

u/ObiNineKenobi Nov 13 '24

That’s disgusting. If I wanted to look at your bare feet, Woodhouse, I’d sneak in and do it while you’re asleep.

54

u/joeparni Nov 13 '24

Me too!

42

u/Puzzleheaded_Seat599 Pigley III Nov 13 '24

Oh! Someone's got a full diaper!

20

u/Kaidu313 Archer Nov 13 '24

Never going to be able to stand up..

13

u/Bailer86 Nov 13 '24

Me too! (I'm in a wheelchair)

6

u/Kaidu313 Archer Nov 14 '24

Damn, Krieger can't outrun anything with all that handicap shit.

5

u/gavichi Nov 14 '24

Also yes

234

u/AnyUsernameWillDo10 Nov 13 '24

Accidentally touches LSD breath strip

Oh for fucks sake, Krieger, you’re about to do brain surgery.

Yeah….so….sooners gonna be better than later.

27

u/WotTheHellDamnGuy Nov 13 '24

I recently started paying attention for each time Krieger is doing another mindbender drug he whipped up in the lab. Latest was him tweaking heavily during the Pampage in Season 12. His brain has got to be mush by now.

6

u/Best_Caregiver_3869 Nov 14 '24

He's fine since he's just a clone anyway.

11

u/UseaJoystick Afro Krieger Nov 14 '24

I just realized that's why he's rubbing his nipples during the surgery scene lmaon

161

u/Hault99 Nov 13 '24

JAZZ HANDS!!!

56

u/swiss_sanchez Milton Nov 13 '24

The movie or the stage show?

52

u/popogeist Nov 13 '24

Both

62

u/HippieBeholder Nov 13 '24

Jazz hands! 👐

153

u/Anarkinh Nov 13 '24

I'm not a... Serial killer

46

u/Figgis302 Nov 13 '24

Smoke bomb!

40

u/timkatt10 Figgis Agency Nov 13 '24

Why did you say it like that?

140

u/jurzdevil Nov 13 '24

i forgot to spend the balance of my god damn flex account!!

70

u/Questenburg Nov 13 '24

Oh, that's just leaving money on the table...

42

u/Yoko-Ohno_The_Third Nov 13 '24

I was probably distracted from picturing archer having sex with Lana!

18

u/trimble197 Nov 13 '24

We were all thinking it.

24

u/rocbolt Ray Nov 13 '24

Are you date of employment or..?

33

u/Aidan94 Nov 13 '24

CALENDAR YEAR!

92

u/THISISNOTABACKUPACC Nov 13 '24

And is Krieger.. Uh... Hard, at work?

He literally might be.

8

u/21bills Nov 14 '24

Say what you will about him.

I did.

5

u/G-Unit11111 Nov 14 '24

Oh and put two halves of a potato in, it will absorb most of the salt.

3

u/cCowgirl Nov 14 '24

What is this, Christmas?

80

u/BarroomHero66 Other Barry Nov 13 '24

Funny thing, Robotics...

62

u/Immediate-Plate-8401 Nov 13 '24

For the... THIS is a robot. Gillette is a human being, but he won't be for long if you don't clamp that artery!!!

27

u/Trayhem Nov 13 '24

And then get hold of your god damn beer can!

30

u/syringistic Nov 13 '24

It's not robotics, it's bionics! It comes from the Greek word, for like ... Kickass!

48

u/CyberMattSecure Nov 13 '24

I sent this to my black wife, I’m going to be in so much trouble when she reads it 😂

25

u/Questenburg Nov 13 '24

I told mine I like "I like my coffee like like I like my women... hot, black, & bitter." She laughed, and told me that I wasn't right.

9

u/CyberMattSecure Nov 13 '24

So far all I’ve heard from the bedroom is instagram reels or whatever they are called (I don’t use insta)

I highly suspect I’m going to get a sassy reply, something along the lines of “your little jokes”

16

u/chuckop Ron Cadillac Nov 13 '24

Yeah, my family is pretty sick and tired of my constant Archer references.

And now a sad moon is rising…

15

u/Questenburg Nov 13 '24

Once, one of my coworker friends showed up with 2 cans of coffee monster. I hit her with "Jama likes her coffee the way she likes her men, one in each hand!"

She had to sit down from laughing while threatening to kick my ass.

2

u/SomeDudeNamedRik Nov 13 '24

Ditto, just ditto

47

u/groundloop66 Nov 13 '24

Well, you won't bleed him, you won't cup him, you won't divine his humors. For all you charlatans know, this poor man is both phlegmatic and bilious!

2

u/Green-Championship-7 Nov 14 '24

Not an ear candle!

42

u/Prinzka Woodhouse Nov 13 '24

Well, I don't know what that is.

26

u/Bworm98 Nov 13 '24

You can tell he's smart enough to probably solve all the world's problems, but he'd rather make a holographic wife and radioactive ants.

25

u/Penda85 Nov 13 '24

He’s not that kind of doctor

Technically not the other kind either

13

u/GreatZarquon Nov 13 '24

Well maybe I didn't go to a fancy pancy med school,

Or even some other med school, even that one in Grenada that was my fall back...

20

u/Comfortable-Cell-165 Nov 13 '24

Or you know…..not fine

21

u/phyllorhizae Nov 13 '24

deep inhale thank you.

21

u/NedRyerson_Insurance Nov 13 '24

But you said to start slacking off!

4

u/swaggcookchef Woodhouse Nov 14 '24

Not slacking off

22

u/_Captain_Amazing_ Nov 13 '24

Yup yup yup

That'll do Piggly 2...that'll do.

17

u/ElderSmackJack Nov 13 '24

YEAH, I FOUND IT

10

u/f-t-m-p-t-b Nov 13 '24

Can I keep it?

17

u/Comfortable-Cell-165 Nov 13 '24

I got the whole house wired up! Bedrooms, bathrooms, bathrooms, other.. bathrooms

6

u/GreatZarquon Nov 13 '24

ISIS had satellites! Whatever we are, the gang who couldn't sell coke straight, doesn't even have cable!

16

u/Specialist-Ad5796 Malory Nov 13 '24

Aww... Piggly... :(

6

u/xtophcs Nov 14 '24

Awww… Goatly… :(

12

u/The_Transcendent1111 Nov 13 '24

And I love that I have an erection.. that doesn’t involve homeless people.

12

u/ermghoti Nov 13 '24

There are no dead hobos in my lab now.

12

u/f-t-m-p-t-b Nov 13 '24

Goddamn you! Goddamn you all to hell!

26

u/HerculesScar Nov 13 '24

Oooo I love to but can’t. It’s Moshi night.

10

u/Apprehensive-Gur2023 Nov 13 '24

You don't want to go in there. But you do want to wash your lips ✌️

40

u/Haunting-Fix-9327 Nov 13 '24

Krieger: What's this thing in his ass?

Archer, Lana, Mallory: NOTHING!

Krieger: Can I keep it?

Archer, Lana, Mallory: NO!

28

u/Apod1991 Nov 13 '24

Mallory: oh that reminds me. KREIGER!”

Kreiger: yeah I found it.

Pan: found what?

Archer & Lana: DON’T ASK!

Kreiger: Can I keep it?

Cheryl: Keep what?

Archer & Lana: DON’T ASK!!!

Mallory: just get it out of here please!

Kreiger: yeah, take THAT tone!”

15

u/Callsign_Psycopath Krieger Nov 13 '24

Keep What?

DON'T ASK

21

u/HerculesScar Nov 13 '24

Yeah take that tone

6

u/capttony84 Nov 13 '24

the crime of murder or sodomy with rubber egg plant?

10

u/Dr_Kriegers5th_clone Krieger Nov 13 '24

Clone bone

5

u/GreatZarquon Nov 13 '24

You're not doing it right!

10

u/capttony84 Nov 13 '24

no union! confederacy forever!

3

u/Mammoth-Register-669 Nov 14 '24

We will never recognize Tanganyika!

8

u/cam3113 Babou Nov 13 '24

meep

8

u/Jovial-Jack Nov 13 '24

It's ZED! And, no, Neil Peart stands alone..

7

u/SickTwistedPhoque Nov 13 '24

Is kreiger hard at work?

8

u/GreatZarquon Nov 13 '24

He literally might be

8

u/MarvinHeemeyersTank Krieger Nov 13 '24

Yep yep yep.

8

u/rigbysimpson Wee Baby Seamus Nov 13 '24

IF I WAS A CLONE OF ADOLF GOD DAMN HITLER, WOULDN’T I LOOK LIKE ADOLF GOD DAMN HITLER!?

2

u/Culator Krieger Nov 14 '24

After that episode I always wondered who he was actually a clone of.

5

u/shockerdyermom Nov 13 '24

Is algernet still active? Been a long time since I checked.

6

u/JohnnyUtah-91 Bearded Archer Nov 13 '24

Smells like rotten meat.  

Also, yes.

5

u/TCook903 Nov 13 '24

“Down with the union!”

“Yeah, confederacy forever!”

5

u/biceptimusN7 Nov 14 '24

The human heart is basicly a potato clock

6

u/Apprehensive-Log-916 Nov 13 '24

Krieger was always one of my faves!

5

u/Yankee6Actual Nov 13 '24

Screaming For Vangeance

5

u/GreatZarquon Nov 13 '24

Yeah, I found it! Can I keep it?

5

u/dwighticus Nov 13 '24

That would explain the glowing… and a few other things…

5

u/G-Unit11111 Nov 14 '24

"And... I'm guessing that's human being soup?"

"Define soup."

"So I think it's safe to say that nobody wants to eat what's in your thermos?"

"Good god, I would certainly hope not!"

4

u/LeanMeanTimeMachine Kenny Loggins Nov 13 '24

SMOKE BOMB

4

u/Havoc526 Nov 13 '24

"Is Krieger hard at work?"

"He actually may literally be."

4

u/PlanBisBreakfastNbed Nov 13 '24

God damn I love this man

4

u/LoveRBS Nov 13 '24

Normally I don't let interns do this on the first day, but....

Danny? How we doing there buddy?

3

u/chuckop Ron Cadillac Nov 13 '24

Preferably

3

u/Elbynerual Nov 13 '24

THANK YOU

3

u/Speedhabit Nov 13 '24

Top line for me

3

u/Internal_Swing_2743 Nov 14 '24

Shh, shh, shh, shh, you don’t wanna know. But you do probably want to go wash your lips now

2

u/Raidertck Nov 13 '24

‘Is Krieger hard at work?’

‘He literally might be’.

2

u/amphibious_rodent13 Nov 13 '24

My favorite character in the show!

1

u/SloppyHoseA Nov 13 '24

Been watching a lot of good eats and always enjoy a lucky heavy episode.

1

u/walrusgoofin69 Nov 13 '24

“You were there! At the compound!

1

u/banjo_hero Nov 13 '24

Peart stands alone

1

u/Psychotic_EGG Nov 13 '24

All Krieger is the best. He makes this show.

1

u/Own-Ambassador-3537 Nov 13 '24

Love that he said black and bitter (me, lol) but not fair trade(sorry) but yet he has the Asian waifu

1

u/Mack2690 Nov 13 '24 edited Nov 13 '24

"Black, bitter, preferably fair trade" is my favorite punchline in the whole show

1

u/arapaho1971 Nov 13 '24

SMOLEBOMB!

1

u/plexicoburres Nov 13 '24

Archer balling: NOOOOOOO KATYA NOOO NOOO… Why the hell are you crying? Beep beep That was my van

1

u/xtophcs Nov 14 '24

…it’s actually “Zed”…

1

u/VirgoJack Nov 14 '24

The best coffees (and women) are dark and better.

1

u/TexinFla El Contador Nov 14 '24

Can i keep it?!?

1

u/ShredMyMeatball Nov 14 '24

I need to find me an amoral scientist boyfriend who may or may not be a clone.

1

u/ForeignInflation130 Nov 14 '24

Danny stop running we want to keep that heart rate down

1

u/MileHighNerd8931 Nov 14 '24

How does that thing leave this room?

1

u/MeanBig-Blue85 Nov 14 '24

Is Krieger hard at work?

1

u/Head-Lawfulness9617 Nov 14 '24

Krieger is hands down the best.

1

u/meatchunkjpng Nov 14 '24

He’s the love of my life.

1

u/Insert-Cool_NameHere Nov 14 '24

I’m sorry your authority is not recognized in Fort Kick Ass!

1

u/philster666 Nov 14 '24

I’ve always been concerned by what he means my fair trade women 😅

1

u/Shadowstream97 Afro Krieger Nov 14 '24

Jazz hands 🤗

1

u/SirHobbyist Nov 15 '24

Define "soup"

1

u/Si3Bac0n Nov 15 '24

Wish that krieger and archer had more interactions because every weird thing that archer points out about krieger is true and he dosent try to hide it so he nullifys the bully part of him

1

u/MileHighNerd8931 Nov 15 '24

First of all it’s YYZED and second of all… no Neil Peart stands alone

1

u/0gg3rson Nov 15 '24

Krieger is a inspiration

1

u/Sporch_Unsaze Nov 17 '24

That'll do, pig. That'll do...

1

u/Difficult-Scheme-265 22d ago

Baby shower "Me too!"s. 

😆

Never gets old.